Hot Topic (7/13): Is dating another person prior to a legal divorce adultery?

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

I saw this in CafeMom's Daily Buzz:

 

 

Is This Adultery?

July 10, 2009 at 11:55 AM by Cafe Cynthia

 

 

Relationships, separation and divorce despite all my efforts to ignore the tabloid play-by-play about Jon and Kate. So a question in The Cafe recently got my attention.

 

 

 

 

 

Is dating another person prior to a legal divorce adultery?

 

One view is that when a spouse cheats or otherwise withdraws from the relationship, he or she has broken the covenent and it's no longer binding. About three-quarters of moms in The Cafe discussion agree.

Another is that you are legally married on paper until a court dissolves it, so any relationship with another person is technically adultery.

Now let's hear what you say ...

[cowgirlsr2]

If you are completely separated and you are certain there is no getting back together than I do not see why dating is not possible. I am divorced and it took 2 1/2 yrs that's awhile and yes I dated . I knew there was no reconciliation .I think it may to be based upon your personal beliefs but I don't see a problem as long as you are completely separated.

[sweet.p82]

It is adultry because, separated or not, you are STILL married. I know people who have dated while being separated, and it can make the divorce a lot messier. It also can give your spouse ammunition to use against you if there is a custody battle for the children. My advice is too wait.

[tericared]

If the divorce is not final you are still married, so yes dating is cheating, whether there is a chance of getting back together or not.... 

[ladybug3803]

I think if you're no longer together (physically or emotionally), it's not adultery to date other people.

[aydansmama]

I do nopt believe that it is adultery.  It took me four and a hald years to get divorced from my first husband and I met my current husband while I was seperated and I am happy that I opened my heart up to him. 

[kgsharber]

NO!!!! I was married for   13mos, but the asshole drug our divorce out for 2 years!!! I am supposed to allow him to control my sex-life after we are separated??? I don't think so!!!

 PLUS, the day you file the paperwork is considered your divorce date GENIUSES!! So, once I got it finalized, they dated mine back 2 years!

[LaceyAM]

Married is still married, whether you are going through the divorce process or not. Besides, if you are getting a divorce, that means you were in somewhat of a long relationship--take the time to focus on yourself (not you necessarily-just in general).

[onecuteladybug2]

I think that once you have filed the paperwork to become legally separated with the intention of divorce, dating is no longer adultery. Had I waited until my XH cooperated with the divorce to date, it would have been 8 years. Yes, you read that right, 8 years. By the time my divorce was finalized (due to him continuously moving from state to state to avoid being served), I was already engaged, and he had created another child with some woman that he treated even worse than me.

[RaeLynn1221]

I agree

Quoting ladybug3803:

I think if you're no longer together (physically or emotionally), it's not adultery to date other people.

[momof6nokc]

Well "genius", my divorce is dated the day I went in front of the judge, NOT the day I filed.

Quoting kgsharber:

 PLUS, the day you file the paperwork is considered your divorce date GENIUSES!! So, once I got it finalized, they dated mine back 2 years!