Hot Topic 7/26: Is marriage an outdated institution?

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

Marriage is arguably losing its appeal claim many social scientists, and indeed many tabloids. With divorce ever on the increase – with statistics showing one out of every three marriages end in divorce, the institution of marriage as a religious and legal bond may be considered outdated in today’s society. Co-habitation is no longer unacceptable, indeed it is commonplace among the youth of today, and illegitimacy no longer carries such a social stigma. But is a stable family environment dependent on a marital bond – or more appropriately, if not dependent is it improved? Link

Is co-habitation replacing the institution of marriage, and will this affect the security and stability of children?

 

[Eilish]

I'd say that marriage is a misunderstood institution.

[Karatemomlisa]

Despite the sexual revolution and its raw allure, and despite the sad statistic of more than half of all marriages failing, most people instinctively know that a committed, lifelong, monogamous marriage is the highest and most important earthly relationship. God instituted marriage—and restricted sex to marriage—for our good. Deep down, most people seem to know that—despite the propaganda.

[resamerie]

I honestly have nothing against anyone that wants to live outside the sanctity of marriage. My only problem is people that take those vows before God and family and are then so quick to break them. Don't do it if you don't mean it.  

[rocklovinggirl]

People should marry when they are ready! People get married and get out at the first sight of a problem... I don't think it is right.
I would have never lived with someone before marriage because my parents were SO against it and surprisingly in a sociology course I took in college, we were told people who lived together bfore marriage were MORE liklely to divorce...

[Suzys_monkees]

Quoting Karatemomlisa:

Despite the sexual revolution and its raw allure, and despite the sad statistic of more than half of all marriages failing, most people instinctively know that a committed, lifelong, monogamous marriage is the highest and most important earthly relationship. God instituted marriage—and restricted sex to marriage—for our good. Deep down, most people seem to know that—despite the propaganda.

[Laurelinn]

Well, although I'm not "allowed" to be married due to narrow-minded people, I don't think that my relationship is any less loving or strong due to a lack of a license. What it does lack is any type of legal protection for either of us in the event of any kind of emergency.

[MissBearNMonkey]

I want the whole concept of marriage to be left to churches that consider it one of their sacraments. A legal union, regardless of gender, with the same rights and privileges should replace a term that has been hijacked by the religious right. Y'all want to call it "marriage"? Great! But if you want it recognized by the state, you will need a union license.

I, for one, am not comfortable with the term "marriage" to describe my relationship. Perhaps it's too much schooling that has brought me to this point, but after learning and understanding the history of it, I don't feel comfortable classifying my relationship with my male SO as a "marriage". It is not, nor ever will be a property transaction (which is, historically, all marriage was until the idea of romantic love came about in the 17th century).

Quoting Laurelinn:

Well, although I'm not "allowed" to be married due to narrow-minded people, I don't think that my relationship is any less loving or strong due to a lack of a license. What it does lack is any type of legal protection for either of us in the event of any kind of emergency.

[morningdove831]

Quoting Karatemomlisa:

 

Despite the sexual revolution and its raw allure, and despite the sad statistic of more than half of all marriages failing, most people instinctively know that a committed, lifelong, monogamous marriage is the highest and most important earthly relationship. God instituted marriage—and restricted sex to marriage—for our good. Deep down, most people seem to know that—despite the propaganda.

Yes!!!  This.  Very well said mama. 

[Shiiloe]

Your sociology teacher was most likely relying on outdated data.  More recent statistical analysis shows different data depending on different situations. For instance, odds of divorce among women who married their only cohabiting partner were 28% lower than among women who never cohabited before marriage, according to sociologist Daniel Lichter of Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y.  Now, I'm not saying that this means it is ok or not ok for people to cohabitate before marriage. I simply think that you can't necessarily use the experiences of others to determine what your own would be.  You (meaning the collective 'you') know yourself better than any statistician and should go with what you know is right for you. This goes for marriage as well.  If you know it is right for you to get married, have at it.  Otherwise, you end up as a statistic  ;)

Quoting rocklovinggirl:

People should marry when they are ready! People get married and get out at the first sight of a problem... I don't think it is right.
I would have never lived with someone before marriage because my parents were SO against it and surprisingly in a sociology course I took in college, we were told people who lived together bfore marriage were MORE liklely to divorce...

[IronKnickers82]

Honestly, I think marriage is an ideaology. Think about it: you have to get 2 people from completely different upbringings, environments, parentage, and personal persuasions, to agree not only to inhabit the same space, but to "love, honor, and cherish/obey" each other, for the REST OF THEIR LIVES...realistically, I would think this leaves a LOT of opportunity for things to go moderately to very wrong. I consider people who stay married to be very lucky troopers indeed.