Yet Another Question for My Fellow Head-Covering Mommies!

[HaydensMom178]

Hello, ladies!  Sorry it's been a while since I've posted-I think.  Lol.  Things have been crazy and I've been swamped.  I do hope everyone has had happy and safe holidays.  Happy New Year to all of you, btw!  Ok, so here's the thing.  We went to my in-laws' house for Christmas Eve night (their annual family Christmas Eve party), which is always a fun time.  Of course, I did wear a white hijab there to go with my outfit.  They've also seen me wearing my scarves pinned as hijabs, so it wasn't that big of a deal.  No one had said anything about it, and I figured that if they had questions, then someone would come to me.  We went back for dinner Christmas night.  My mil and I got to talking and she mentioned that she worried about me wearing the hijab. 

She said that while she does support the notion that you should be able to wear what you want to wear, and she finds the French ban on hijab stupid (as I do), she worries about the possible repurcussions to me wearing it.  She said with the reactions Muslims get for covering with the scarf and certain incidences that have been reported around the country and the government egging them on, she wanted to be sure that I had thought it all the way through.  She just said that she was concerned because she didn't want for me to go around wearing it without the thought that something could possibly happen to me or my husband or son.  What doesn't help, she said, is that my husband has a beard-but he's always had one!  Lol.  Seriously, though, I did think about that and I know people's misconceptions about Muslims.  That's why I spoke to my husband before I started covering at all, much less with the hijabi look.  I told him if it made him uncomfortable, then I wouldn't wear it because I know it isn't just affecting me, it's also affecting him.  I know that there are ignorant people out there who will see me with it on and think that I'm being oppressed or that my husband is beating me.  We both know it isn't true, of course-as does anyone who knows us!  However, that is what people think when they see a woman with a scarf. 

Now, I've been very fortunate-aside from the very beginning when I first started covering months ago, I haven't had bad reactions from people.  It's actually started conversations between me and strangers and me explaining my reasoning for covering my hair.  Anyway.  When I'd thought about any kind of prejudice, I'd always assumed it would be bad looks or ignorant comments.  I did not ever think about any kind of physical incidents-not even the possibility of it.  Now, luckily, we haven't had any of these incidences.  However, the possibility of it is very frightening to me.  When my husband and I talked about it, he said it had occured to him, but he didn't say anything to me about it because he didn't want for me to feel pressured not to wear the hijab.  He said he just kept quiet and keeps an extra eye on me and keeps me extra close when I wear it is all. 

So, here's what I want to know from you all:

Is my mil overreacting or does she have cause?

What would you do (or have done)?

Have any of you had any fears about things getting physical from extremists because you wear a scarf?

Any replies will be greatly appreciated!  Thanks for reading!

-Chasity

[MamaKalila]

Sorry I'm behind on everything.  This is not something I worry about, but I also don't live in an area where it is a worry.  The worst I've gotten was someone yelling at me to go back where I came from when I was in college (across the state).  Unless you're in an area that's had a lot of that type of thing I would think its a bit of an overreaction on her part. I mean its sweet, but at the same time it might also be an excuse to try to convince you not to because she's just personally not comfortable with it.  Not saying that's true, but it could be. 

[HaydensMom178]

Thanks for chiming in, MamaKalila.  And, I was getting the same feeling.  You see, she does have a tendency to overreact-she did for a small hurricane we had, telling us that water's going to come into our apartment and that we'd better go stay with her.  Obviously, if the flooding would've been that bad, it would've been mandatory evacuation.  We stayed at our own place and everything was fine. 

Also, she was talking about things that were happening in Arizona-we live in Louisiana!  I was like, "Well, yeah, there's good and bad everywhere."  It's not very common in our little town-no head covering is, so I've yet to wear it around here, though I cover, just differently.  When I go to another town, then I usually wear the hijab.  So far, I haven't gotten anything other than a couple of nasty looks the first few times.  Now, people are generally used to it.  Also, a lot of people have asked me about why I wear it-they assume I'm from the Middle East.  Then, I explain to them why I choose to wear it and they say that they think it's great.  So, I haven't gotten any kind of harrassment or anything to make me think I'm in danger.  In the big city, I often see women wearing the hijab and they seem fine.  Also, there is one woman who wears it as well in the next town over.  Of course, I don't know her or anything, but when I see her, no one is bothering her.

Anyway.  That's why I wanted to know what others think.  My husband isn't worried about it and didn't want to worry me.  I think that if it would be serious, then he would've told me. 

Thanks for the input, MamaKalila!

[wolvesfire]

France didn't ban hijab. They banned niqab, the face veil.    That's oppressing the Muslim women who wear niqab because they believe it is fard (fard is 'obligatory').  Stupid stupid stupid French government.  If I saw you in hijab in public I'd assume you were Muslim until you told me otherwise so you may be mistaken for being Muslim in public.  I pay attention to what happens to the females of the Ummah here in USA or I do my best to do so and relate such information about the anti-Islam rise that is occuring since 9/11 to my husband and have read of Muslim sisters who wear hijab being denied driver licenses, cops pulling them over and pulling off their hijabs, being assualted happens a lot it seems (I know in Columbus, OH I think last year we had a sister who was maced in the parking lot of one of the mosques by a complete stranger who pulled into the mosque parking lot behind her).  I saw a video on Youtube about a Muslim sister in GA who wasn't allowed to get her DL due to wearing hijab.  I read another case where a Muslim sister wasn't allowed to wear hijab to prison where she was held for 10 days due to a speeding violation in Califronia I think.  I have a news article in my Muslim diary  ( http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D805622&entry=10025&mode) about a Muslim sister who was strip seached while going through the Chicago O'Hare Airport in 2009-told my husband I will NEVER go through Chicago and get strip searched and god knows what else those people do in the airport to Muslim women and I would take off my hijab if I had to if I was forced to fly through there.  I was such a nervous wreck last year on our way to Port Columbus in Columbus, OH as that was my first time flying since I became Muslim, telling husband "I HATE flying!" and just hyperventiliating/complaining (I calmed down enough before we got to the airport and suprisingly it went better than expected).  So I can see why your mother has concern (rightly so) about you wearing hijab.  You may be physically assulated, spit on, etc.  Just be careful.