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Do you ladies...

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 1:43 PM
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Do you ever get mean stares or comments or have people stare at you for dressing differently? Share a story of how you handled it. And if it effected your thoughts about how you dress

by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 1:43 PM
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HaydensMom178
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 11:43 PM

I've gotten some comments from people in my family and I can count on one hand the number of people who've given me a bad look.  Most people are pretty open-minded and they will mostly look at me and smile and I smile back.  As for the ones who give me the dirty looks, well, you've just gotta ignore those.  As for the comments, well, I thought it was completely out of line when I was told to take off my scarf because I looked like a Muslim.  I said that I didn't care, I wasn't taking off my scarf.  Either way, it was incredibly rude to me-here I am, a married mother and she's trying to tell me what to do?  However I want to look is up to me and my husband (of course, I'd asked him about it because whatever assumptions anyone makes by my appearance will also be made about him).  That's what you've got to remember the most:  You were called to dress the way you do for a reason, so have conviction in your beliefs and decision.  Stay firm because there will be a lot of society that will try to get you to change-Idk why, just an attack on modesty, I suppose. 

Hopeful44
by New Member on Aug. 8, 2012 at 9:47 AM

Thats my biggest problem, people saying mean things or getting mean looks. I mean I am generally at home so i wear long loose shorts. I used to wear pants out but i feel strongly about wearing skirts and dresses that go to or past my knees.

When I told my parents that is what I want and how i will be raising my daughter they were really judgemental. Saying it was pointless and she wouldnt be able to play with everyone when she is wearing a dress cuz it would be too difficult (even though i distinctely remember climbing trees in dresses when i was little)

I told my husband i just wanted to wear modest skirts and dresses he wasnt mean about it but the look he gave me was like i said i was going to shave my head.

Quoting HaydensMom178:

I've gotten some comments from people in my family and I can count on one hand the number of people who've given me a bad look.  Most people are pretty open-minded and they will mostly look at me and smile and I smile back.  As for the ones who give me the dirty looks, well, you've just gotta ignore those.  As for the comments, well, I thought it was completely out of line when I was told to take off my scarf because I looked like a Muslim.  I said that I didn't care, I wasn't taking off my scarf.  Either way, it was incredibly rude to me-here I am, a married mother and she's trying to tell me what to do?  However I want to look is up to me and my husband (of course, I'd asked him about it because whatever assumptions anyone makes by my appearance will also be made about him).  That's what you've got to remember the most:  You were called to dress the way you do for a reason, so have conviction in your beliefs and decision.  Stay firm because there will be a lot of society that will try to get you to change-Idk why, just an attack on modesty, I suppose. 


HaydensMom178
by Member on Aug. 9, 2012 at 12:04 AM
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I know it really stings.  Unfortunately, we are still in the minority in this society so this stuff is to be expected.  You know what brings me comfort, though?  It's how I feel in my modest clothes and my hair covered-I feel safe.  I don't feel like I'm begging for attention with my body anymore.  I finally can think about other (more useful) things than, "Do I look OK?!" over and over because I was so uncomfortable in immodest clothing.  I feel a lot better about myself, more relaxed when we go places, and luckily, my husband has reacted very well-when we go shopping, he always wants me to lock my arm in his as he pushes our son in the stroller.  He never did this before I dressed modestly.  He's actually told me himself that this has made him look at me different as well-when we are in public and I am modestly dressed, he is more likely to listen to what I'm saying and to take me seriously, because he isn't just focused on my body.  Although he still likes when I wear what I want around the house after our son is in bed!  Lol.  Also, Idk how much experience you've had with dressing modestly so far, but I've definitely found that men show me more respect-doors get opened a lot more for me and guys are polite.  No one is leering at me or anything anymore.  As for families, well, they're always so complicated, aren't they?  Honestly, I just talked it over with my husband and then went for it.  Everyone saw me when they saw me and if they said something or asked me why I was dressed the way I was, I told them the truth simply:  I like it.  And left it at that.  If they had anything else to say, then it was their problem.  My grandma actually asked me to stop covering and wearing long skirts because this same aunt had called her up and was making all kinds of noise (saying that I was being weird, drawing attention to myself, that I was becoming a Muslim, which was kind of silly to me considering that my dh and I were in RCIA classes at the time to join the Catholic church.).  I told her that for one, if we were going to become Muslims, then we wouldn't be at Catholic class and that even if we had decided we were becoming Muslims, it would be our decision anyway and what she (the aunt) had to say wouldn't stop anything.  Then, I told her that I would NOT change the way that I looked because it was her (the aunt) problem and not mine.  We were BOTH perfectly happy with how I dress, it's how I feel comfortable, what I felt called to do and that was it.  In the end, she agreed with me-my grandma, not the aunt.  Of course, this aunt has always had something mean to say to me from the time I was real little (about 4 or 5 is my earliest memory), so I'm used to her kicking up a hornet's nest when she doesn't get her way.  Too bad-I'm an adult and it's ultimately my decision, just as it is yours.  Idk if you're religious or spiritual or anything, but perhaps you could pray about it?  Pray for God to give understanding and tolerance to your family, your husband, and to help you find peace with your decision.

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