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Will forever be alone

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:45 PM
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I was bemoaning my single status and my sister said that it was inevitable. I wont get a date because I dress 'like an old lady' and am Pagan. She said maybe if I was Christian I could get an Amish to date me. Or I should just dress my age. Guess I am stuck being single for life. It does make me a bit depressed.
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:45 PM
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Replies (1-5):
caliprincess
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:33 PM

Whatever you do don't change yourself to find someone. You are the way you are for a reason, your beliefs are important, and if its meant for you to be with someone, that person will come along in time and love you for you.  Personally I think when we find that we are happy in our singleness thats when that door will open.

Kenre
by Group Admin on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:42 PM

 I'm more content with the fact that I'm alone. I have a lot "against" me, really.

  • I am Pagan in a very Christian area.
  • I have dresses to the floor and cover my arms to the wrist.
  • I used to cover my head, but it made my sister's fiance uncomfortable and so I switched to bandanas most of the time, except when I'm working.
  • I braid my hair everyday, since it's part of my Pagan path to braid hair when we are single women over the age of 6. If I wasn't single, then my hair would be put into a bun everyday. Only time its loose is during ritual or when I'm with my family in my house.
  • Then, I also have to find a guy while having 4 children! LOL! Not only 4 children, but 4 children all not even school age yet! My oldest is being tested for Autism and has a milk allergy (so our diet is different), my second child has CAPD and a heart condition and is being tested for growth issues, my third child is a handful as a toddler and unpredictable, and my daughter is with me all of the time since her dad doesn't do visitation with her and she also has a growth issue that she is being tested for (they think it's genetic).
  • I also have personality quirks, as my sister calls them. I preserve my food. Want a farm one day. I would love to be with a hunter and fisher. I also don't want to just jump into the bed with the dude - I want the ring first.

She says all of these together make me an old lady who will never get another man. LOL! oh well. She says she likes it that I have morals and such, even as a Pagan, but I have to understand that I'm not going to find anyone who is with my morals and can accept my worship of many gods.

Quoting caliprincess:

Whatever you do don't change yourself to find someone. You are the way you are for a reason, your beliefs are important, and if its meant for you to be with someone, that person will come along in time and love you for you.  Personally I think when we find that we are happy in our singleness thats when that door will open.

 

"My kids have disabilities, they aren't disabled. They are quite able to do anything they put their minds to." -Jerin
"Life is a Rollarcoaster ride. There's ups, down, loops and sometimes you just have to scream."  -Jerin
"Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living." -Soren Kierkegaard

caliprincess
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:13 PM

 

I wouldn't consider those things quirks, those are good things. Don't listen to your sister. I'm sure there are many men out in the world that have the same moral/belief system as you, you just gotta find them. I have a similar issue though I'm a mormon, most mormon men are stuck up and want a perfect woman, I have bipolar and tend to shave my head when my mood gets crazy.  that and with my past tends to get in the way of things. anyways, try not to think about what your sister says, in my opinion she's wrong.

Quoting Kenre:

 I'm more content with the fact that I'm alone. I have a lot "against" me, really.

  • I am Pagan in a very Christian area.
  • I have dresses to the floor and cover my arms to the wrist.
  • I used to cover my head, but it made my sister's fiance uncomfortable and so I switched to bandanas most of the time, except when I'm working.
  • I braid my hair everyday, since it's part of my Pagan path to braid hair when we are single women over the age of 6. If I wasn't single, then my hair would be put into a bun everyday. Only time its loose is during ritual or when I'm with my family in my house.
  • Then, I also have to find a guy while having 4 children! LOL! Not only 4 children, but 4 children all not even school age yet! My oldest is being tested for Autism and has a milk allergy (so our diet is different), my second child has CAPD and a heart condition and is being tested for growth issues, my third child is a handful as a toddler and unpredictable, and my daughter is with me all of the time since her dad doesn't do visitation with her and she also has a growth issue that she is being tested for (they think it's genetic).
  • I also have personality quirks, as my sister calls them. I preserve my food. Want a farm one day. I would love to be with a hunter and fisher. I also don't want to just jump into the bed with the dude - I want the ring first.

She says all of these together make me an old lady who will never get another man. LOL! oh well. She says she likes it that I have morals and such, even as a Pagan, but I have to understand that I'm not going to find anyone who is with my morals and can accept my worship of many gods.

Quoting caliprincess:

Whatever you do don't change yourself to find someone. You are the way you are for a reason, your beliefs are important, and if its meant for you to be with someone, that person will come along in time and love you for you.  Personally I think when we find that we are happy in our singleness thats when that door will open.

 


 

frstldyhmsch
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Hi, I personally think that there is someone for everyone and if the guys that you come across can't accept you for who you truly are, then they are not worth it! The last thing you want to do is change yourself JUST to find a husband, only to get a divorce within the first 5 years because your true self will come out and you will no longer be looked at as the person that he was originally attracted too. So, bottom line, you are who you are, and pretending to be anyone else will only cause you great depression down the line! If you decide to change then make sure it's only for you or for any changes in religious practices. By the way, a man that wants a women that shows all her goods to everyone, really doesn't want a wife at all...he just wants an arm piece and someone to "lay with". Your worth is all you have.....keep it safe!

 Through the eyes of a "Teacher Momma " typing


http://www.branyact.blogspot.com/  Let's talk homeschool  

HaydensMom178
by Member on Jun. 4, 2013 at 5:16 PM

Sorry I am so late in replying, but here's  my 2 cents.  First of all, your beliefs are your beliefs, they are what's right for you!  If a man can't accept that then he is not the one for  you (and up to no good if he doesn't want to "bother" with a woman who dresses modestly and covers herself up).  Please, don't EVER change in order to find someone.  Take comfort in whatever you can-your kids and family.  Honestly, I know I'd be in your position if something happened to my husband, except I'm Catholic.  Still, dressing modestly, covering hair or putting it up in a way to cover (braid or bun), a multiple special-needs child, plus being religious.  Also, if something did happen to my husband, I also wouldn't sleep with a man until we married (if it ever happened).  I figure that if something does ever happen to him, I'll be celibate.  Lol.  I honestly don't think I could find a man that would ever accept me like my dh has.  Lol.  I just pray for his safety at all times and hope that we have a LONG, happy life together.  Honestly, if something did happen, I would probably focus all my attention on God and my child, that's it.  I wouldn't have the patience for trying to date and meeting up with all these scuzzy guys. 


Just wanted to show you that you're not alone!

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