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Has anyone been in my position?I think I'm moving ahead but as time moves ahead I feel as though I messed up and I'm the only one to blame.

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 1:24 AM
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I just feel as though no matter which path I choose it's the wrong one no matter how long it takes to figure that out.I feel like I lose a piece of who I am or who I was.......with every day that passes.I have x amount of kids and every time I think I'm making a change for the better it bites me in the butt harder every time.Am I being naive or am I just a "victim" of DUH?Maybe only some readers may understand what I'm saying in such a short paragraph but that's all I'm searching for right now.

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 1:24 AM
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Emmy91
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:04 PM

I'm not sure if I understand what you're saying, but you shouldn't blame yourself for everything that's going wrong. Sometimes it's your fault and sometimes it's not. Don't doubt yourself and learn to have confidence and listen to your inner voice. Everyone makes mistakes... learn and move on! And you're still the same person you were at the beginning of those decisions you made. You may just need to look down deeper for her. Sounds like you're burying her underneath some heavy guilt.

meg_meredith
by on Oct. 3, 2014 at 2:21 AM

Be brave. Dig deep. No. Deeper than that. Dig really deep. Deeper. So deep it's terrifying. 

And don't play the guilt or blame game. That never makes us strong.

It takes 21 days to change a habit. How many habits do you have that are unhealthy, destructive, harmful?

And see a therapist. Do it. There is ZERO shame in doing it. People who are sucessful and well adjusted see therapists. There are therapists that don't cost a gazillion dollars too and programs in your community to help you get help. Reach out for it!

I'll tell you a story about being a "victim". Legally, I am a victim. I was the victim of an armed robbery on christmas while pregnant. Yeah. Who does that? True story though. And I am also the victim of being lied to by a man who I was living with while I was carying his child after that other incident. I was a victim of all kinds of circumstances that were unarguably pretty terrible.

But I am not a "victim". That is not how I see myself. That is not how I see my world. I am learning. I am someone who has been given challenges. Very difficult challenges, yes. But challenges are things that can be overcome and learned from. I am someone with opportunities. I have the opportunity to find forgiveness for people who are lost who, in their disarray, hurt me. I have the opportunity to be more aware of who I keep close to me. I have the opportunity to be better, stronger, and grow always. 

I am a hero in the making.

It's all perspective. 

And who you are... who are you? Ask yourself that question. You define who you are. And you express that definition. You also have the opportunity to change that as you grow. So who are you today? Who do you want to be? What kind of wonderful things does the person you want to be do? Write all of that down and do that. Don't let someone else define you. You aren't their art project. You are your art project, you are your masterpiece. So maybe those pieces you lost, maybe they didn't fit anyway. Find new pieces that create the image you want. 

What kind of example do you want to set for your children? We have the opportunity as parents to paint a beautiful picture to show them that they can paint beautiful pictures for themselves. What does that look like?


 

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