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Need advice!!

Posted by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 1:14 PM
  • 6 Replies

Ok, I am new to this CafeMom thing but I am liking it so far.  Anyway my problem is with my 3yr old son.  Richie has always been an active, independant, spoiled rotten little boy.  I figured that I would put him in Prek 3 program at an excellent school.  Well ever since August it has been horrible.  He made # 2 in his pants several times and there policy was to be fully potty trained.  He barely had accidents at home.  Today I was called to go get him and the teacher had told be if it happened one more time in October he will be asked to leave.  I am so disappointed but I know my little man knows what to do, but now I have to most likely send him back to daycare.   Do I fight to keep him in longer or just take him out?  The teacher told me she thinks he is too immature for a 3 year old and it just hurts my heart.  He turned 3 in June and has been acting out at home since starting school.  But I know that he is learning and will learn way more then what daycare can offer him.  I'm confused and I am living with headaches and heart aches.  Having kids is the most rewarding thing but it sometimes hurts so bad. 

by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 1:14 PM
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by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 1:48 PM

Awww!  I wish i knew what to say, but I dont. lol...but here's a bump anyway! GL!!

by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 1:49 PM

Is the teacher making him feel uncomfortable? I dunno... But I wish you luck.

by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 2:07 PM

 I would talk to who ever in in charge of the school and explain that there must be some issues at school because he never does this at home.  Then I would try a reward program at home like for everyday he does well at school he get to put a sticker on a board and at the end of the week he can pick out a special toy.  Nothing over expensive just something like a hot wheel or a bath toy.  See if that helps.. also let the school teacher know your going to try this that way they can remind him at school when he is acting out or not listening.  Good Luck hope this helps.

in loveboy n girltwin boys


by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 2:17 PM

First of all...Welcome to Cafemom!!!! OK..... Please don't take this the wrong way but I have a niece who has worked as a preschool teacher for a while, so I have heard dozen and dozen of horror stories..........if the RULE is that he has to be TOTALLY potty trained before he can enter the school then I think that maybe you shouldn't have enrolled him if he was still having some accidents at home!! Starting school can be very scary for a small child and can add unneeded stress especially to a child who is still toilet learning. This could be why he seems to have more accidents at school than at home. Also there are so many distractions that he may postpone using the potty until it's just too late. My son was MOSTLY potty trained by the time he was 26 months (almost 100 % accident free). He is now just over 3 1/2 and STILL can't go to the potty without some help . I don't have my son in any kind of daycare or preschool setting so I probably won't be very helpful, but...maybe if you can cut the hours he attends school so that he can ease into the situation more easily or try sitting down with the teacher or other staff member to see if they can offer some suggestions or additional help to you and your son. If the teacher is truly offending you and criticizing your son then is it possible to get him into another class? If all else fails then I would try to find a daycare that may have some sort of curriculum for the preschool aged kids or just another preschool with more lenient potty rules.  Good luck I wish I could have been more helpful.

by Gold Member on Oct. 29, 2009 at 2:57 PM

A 3 year old class should be using the restroom a lot. Many restroom breaks, my 4 yr old had a hard time even using the restroom at school last year. This is the time when they begin to get settled and the teacher can not really expect him to not have accidents. 2 accidents in  3 months in not that bad if you ask me. Especially since it is the begining of the year. Maybe he is afraid to ask her, what is her potty procedure?

Since he is a young 3 year old, I feel his restroom issues are fairly normal. I think you might want to speak with principal as well. But, yes they are not a daycare and they have to send him home if he has an accident in his pants. They are not liscensed to change diapers or pants. I remember having accidents at 3 and 4 when I went to Montessori School and they just gave you clothes to change.

I also feel that daycare is a fine place for learning. They do many learning based activities. My sister is a daycare teacher and they do many themed units and they work on letters and things like that. If your son is stressed out, he will not learn regardless. I would give my child another year to get the potty down and have him do preschool next year perhaps.

by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 7:13 PM

Thanks for the replies!!  I am having a conference with teacher tomorrow morning so I am going to see how that goes. 

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