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break/space in a relationship - what is your opinion?

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:14 AM
  • 21 Replies

 ok, this could get kind of long but i'm going to try to make it as short as possible. About two weeks ago,my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument .. it wasnt over anything specific .. just the both of us being miserable and stressed. well, we've been bickering alot lately so he thre the "I want to take a break" card out. Of course i was devastated and tried doing everything to talk him out of it .... BAD IDEA. Doing that only made him feel more in control of the situation. He said he wants space for a little while because his job is really stressing him out and hes just unhappy. He said he's about to "snap". ok, fine. i get it. Well we spoke last tuesday and that was the last night we talked... he asked me to just give him some space and once he clears his mind everything will be fine. He said he wants to be with me but if i don't give him his space right now, because of how stressed he is from work, hes going to end up just being on his own for good. Well,  I havent tried contacting him in any sort of way since tuesday. it's now monday. He hasnt contacted me either. Im trying my best to be strong but its just a crappy situation. I know i should wait for him to call me.. but how long is too long? I mean i feel like if he loves me and cares, he would atleast send a simple text just saying hi or something. But, i get nothing. Tomorrow will be a week with no contact.

What would you do in a situtation like this?

 

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Brianav
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:18 AM

 I think it's a good strategy! My husband was deployed for a yr. and the time apart just made us even closer and made us realize how much we love each other.

Give him space...eventhough your hating it, I think it will be good for both of you.

Good luck:)

EDIT: Make him chase you. Dont be looking at your phone every second of the day. Playing games is good sometimes ;)

 --♥--Briana--♥--

camy41075
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:19 AM

Is he your childs father? If not I hate to say it but I would cut my losses and head for the heels. I know it is hard after so many years but in a true relationship you do not get to just take time off. At least that is how I see it. What would he have done if you had been married. I feel even if you are dating and you are true to each other it should be like you are married and you are together as one.

MommyOnLI
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:24 AM

dont call him or text him, thats not giving him space... if he truely loves you and wants to be with you he will contact you.

if you txt or call him like you said he knows hes in control...

its hard... and like a PP said is he the father of your child?

livsmama1003
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:24 AM


Quoting camy41075:

Is he your childs father? If not I hate to say it but I would cut my losses and head for the heels. I know it is hard after so many years but in a true relationship you do not get to just take time off. At least that is how I see it. What would he have done if you had been married. I feel even if you are dating and you are true to each other it should be like you are married and you are together as one.

no, hes not. but weve been together for 2 years. his job is terrible though and he puts up with alot of crap everyday. hes very stressed and in a way i think some space is good. actually, i believe everyone needs some space away to miss each other. if youre up your SO's butt all the time, i think it would get old. im just hoping this works out...

livsmama1003
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:27 AM


Quoting MommyOnLI:

dont call him or text him, thats not giving him space... if he truely loves you and wants to be with you he will contact you.

if you txt or call him like you said he knows hes in control...

its hard... and like a PP said is he the father of your child?

i completely agree. i havent called/texted since we spoke last tuesday. a whole week tomorrow. i was just thinking about a time where we got into a fight about a year ago and i didnt call him and he didnt call me... and then two days later i called him. i asked him if he was going to call me and he laughed and said yeah, by the weekend i was going to call, but i knew you were going to break down and call me first. HA, not this time ! i refuse to cave.

And no, hes not my childs bio father but shes all he knows. thats what really breaks my heart..


livsmama1003
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:28 AM


Quoting MommyOnLI:

dont call him or text him, thats not giving him space... if he truely loves you and wants to be with you he will contact you.

if you txt or call him like you said he knows hes in control...

its hard... and like a PP said is he the father of your child?

how long would you wait though without him contacting you before you just consider it time to move on? i mean if he doesnt call/text in 2 weeks.. does that mean hes just done?

mymichelle2002
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:32 AM

Cut your loss. and tell him to grow up and start at least acting like a MAN! and find yourself one who already IS a man.

Gizzy22
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:33 AM

I agress with the pp who said the time will help. my fiance is in the military and the time apart make us miss each other ever more! Just give him space. I have ben in your spot. My fiance and i took a 4 month long break.(im sure you dont want to hear that) But after i found out i was preggo we got into a huge fight. And he didnt even give me warning. He just left for his delpoyment and we didnt speak for 4 months. But now we are closer then ever. Our daughter is 5 months old. Things worked out. I just let him call me.. I wasnt gonna waste my time. So i say let him be and if he loves you he will contact you soon. if now so be it. Learn from him being an asshole and just move on with you and your daughters lives. Honestly father of your child or not, NO guy is worth waiting and crying over.












livsmama1003
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:34 AM


Quoting mymichelle2002:

Cut your loss. and tell him to grow up and start at least acting like a MAN! and find yourself one who already IS a man.

Thats actually the mindset i have right now. part of me misses him so much .. and the other part is like wtf? i KNOW i don't deserve this crap...

MommyOnLI
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:49 AM

sorry momma, i cant give a time to say to wait... but usually space/breaks could mean months or its his way of calling it quits.

before i was married, my ex wanted a break... well after a month of not hearing from him, i decided that was it, and i went about my merry way...

figures after i met someone a few months later he decided to call, but i was left in limbo for so long that i decided my life was better without him (i was with my ex for 4 years)

if hes done this before, what makes you think if you were to ever got married and he got stressed again or better yet if you had a child together and he was stressed that he wouldnt take off and leave you.

good luck, but i would cut my losses and move on... there are so many better <><s out there

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