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i cant do this anymore..

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 2:02 PM
  • 12 Replies

I seriously don't know how we even made it 5 years with the way he disrespects me around other people.. He called me on his lunch and told me that express (he is temp where he is working they keep saying they are going to put him on full time but never has yet) called his boss saying they're behind on paying them and that if they don't get there money they will take my husband from them and blah blah blah (the owner of his job has a couple of law suits on him, and owes a lot of people money) well I told him it would be better to go find ANOTHER job before something happens he doesn't listen.. I told him that express better not hold his check because we know how it is with him not getting his checks (not from this job but from another one and my mother had to help pay rent so we woldn't lose the house) and I told him MY MOTHER will not help again that it's his familys turn.. Well he got mad at me and called me a b*tch and stuff and I heard the guys he work with laughing and stuff it pissed me off I told him to go to he** hung up on him and called my mom.. (we only have one vehicle) so I told my mom to come get me and MY kids before he gets home and Im staying with my mom for a while. IDK if I am coming back I'm threw with how he talks to me..I am tired of how he treats us.. I am tired of all of this shit!! He wouldnt of talked to me like that if he wasn't with the other guys.. But thats okay he will be the one sorry once he comes home and were not here. I told him I am leaving and don't worry about rushing home after work we wont be here that I cant take it and I dont know how we lasted this long.. Seriously he doesn't even help with HIS kids.. He is more like a sperm donor then anything.. I am threw with this..He keeps calling me and I wont answer he is trying to apoligize but I am threw with it.. I cant take it anymore... I really am not in love with him like I thought I was when we got married.. If I could go back to our wedding I woldnt of went threw with it.. :-/... Yeah bad to say but he has always been controlling (he got better after the FIRST time I left him) but I am going to go now I need to get the kids and my stuff ready!!!

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by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 2:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rachel.o
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 11:33 PM

I'm sorry to hear about the tough time you're having; are you OK?

120908love
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 11:40 PM

That's so sad to hear. Nothing pisses me off more than a man being disrespectful to his wife/so. But good for you sticking up for yourself, and owning your feelings.

Maybe ask your mom or someone to watch the kids while you and him talk alone. Tell him how you feel, and tell him that "sorry" is just a word, his actions speak louder and you refuse to put up with him treating and talking to you like dirt.

dsptchmommy
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 11:44 PM

 I'm SO sorry to hear this. I've been through it once and am going through it again. If you ever need or want to talk or vent feel free to PM me.

ViviMigisMommy
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 11:46 PM

Hun, if you are this unhappy.... STAY AWAY!!! You will thank me in the long run. I was with a man just like that.... are they brothers? I wonder????  Just remember, you can do this, regardless.... if he wasn't there then, then no difference now. Let him beg.... let him get a new job. Let him become a man, and if he can't do that alone, he'll never be able to do it. Yes you have kids together... but before you can make them happy, you have to be happy, which makes your happiness more important than anything else....

Stay strong!!

Desiree

 

Ms.Upinyourface
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 11:47 PM

That is the ticket! Get out and next time you talk do it in a conseling session that he arranges with a qualified professional.

Having a third party to keep any discussions on purpose and not following futile hurtful patterns is how to break the cycle once and for all.

Verbal abuse...and bitch calling is abuse, it is not a form of honey..it is more like gasoline than even vinegar, is not going to stop because you hung up and run when he goes ugly.

You may be completely right that he is unfit. If he wants to change, then that is better for all conserned and that changing is better even if you never get back together. He can not keep having children and then abandoning the kids, the women and call it good. It is slimey.

Good for you for digging out and keep it up. Life is to short to wallow around with a confirmed toad.

If he has the stuff of manish in him giving enouph kick to the curb to ...maybe, wake the #@%( up is a time tested means of his getting a man to BE ONE. Let him have a complete ephany if he is capable of it, and come after you with all the integrity and intention of a man . It could take six months and it could take years. And it might not happen at all.

Meanwhile cultivate the best life for you and your family and let him have the slightest amount of your attention is those conseling sessions, if he pursues a solution with you and if he arranges it, pays for it, and shows up and participates.

Apologies are only patch fixes. You need real change. Good luck. STay safe. Take care.

dsptchmommy
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 11:57 PM


Quoting Ms.Upinyourface:

That is the ticket! Get out and next time you talk do it in a conseling session that he arranges with a qualified professional.

Having a third party to keep any discussions on purpose and not following futile hurtful patterns is how to break the cycle once and for all.

Verbal abuse...and bitch calling is abuse, it is not a form of honey..it is more like gasoline than even vinegar, is not going to stop because you hung up and run when he goes ugly.

You may be completely right that he is unfit. If he wants to change, then that is better for all conserned and that changing is better even if you never get back together. He can not keep having children and then abandoning the kids, the women and call it good. It is slimey.

Good for you for digging out and keep it up. Life is to short to wallow around with a confirmed toad.

If he has the stuff of manish in him giving enouph kick to the curb to ...maybe, wake the #@%( up is a time tested means of his getting a man to BE ONE. Let him have a complete ephany if he is capable of it, and come after you with all the integrity and intention of a man . It could take six months and it could take years. And it might not happen at all.

Meanwhile cultivate the best life for you and your family and let him have the slightest amount of your attention is those conseling sessions, if he pursues a solution with you and if he arranges it, pays for it, and shows up and participates.

Apologies are only patch fixes. You need real change. Good luck. STay safe. Take care.

SO true! I am to the point with mine that I have heard the apologies and have seen NO effort to change the behavior so many times that the apology no longer means anything good to me. In fact it is to a point that it just hurts...it is like salt in the wound for me. I have reached a point that I have flat told him his apology as well as his "I love you's" are meaningless and not to say them to me ever again until he fixes what he is doing wrong. I flat told him that I never want to hear either of those things again until he puts in a real and consistent effort. His words no longer mean a damn thing. As they say...the proof is in the pudding. When he asked how I was supposed to know that he was sorry and loved me if he couldn't say it I told him that actions speak louder than words and that until he SHOWED me that he meant those things he no longer had the right to say them. He still says them...he still hasn't shown that he means them. But I stand by what I told him. Don't tell me...SHOW me. OP---don't just accept his words...make him show you through his actions. If he can't do that then he isn't good enough for you.

imknattie
by on Nov. 10, 2009 at 12:07 AM

You most definitely don't desserve to be treated like that!  No one does.  I put up with abuse from my ex husband before i finally couldn't take any more and blew up at him after I caught him with another woman.  I since divorced him, I have my kids and live in my own home and couldn't be happier.  You desserve the best hun, don't you forget that!  YOu don't deserve scum that is just going to treat you like dirt!  Even if he found a job he was happy with he'd still do the same stuff.. Eventually verbal turns into physical....or sexual abuse toward you.

 

I am enjoying spending time with my kids, not having to drive anywhere, why not join me? http://www.myfamilyshealthmatters.com
JTriches
by on Nov. 10, 2009 at 10:48 AM

He is probably lying File a complanit with the department of LABOR.  * Slavery" is outlawed in this Country so youll get your money.  Sounds like you got with a loser  Make a plan to leave "NOW" especially before the holidays.  You and your kids should be safe and protected.  Glad you have your mom to help you Good Luck hugs

BUY AMERICAN   Nana Julie in Cali

destineemommy
by on Nov. 10, 2009 at 10:52 AM

I have been going through the exact same thing. If you ever need to talk you can message me 

emarin77
by Silver Member on Nov. 10, 2009 at 12:39 PM

You have to have confidence in yourself to stick up for yourself and also have a major talk with you husband on how he treats you and the children.  Tell your your husband to find another job that is more secure.  Is there any way you can start working?

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