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What do you think of this? Would it tick you off?

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:25 AM
  • 11 Replies

Ok, I live in a small very upscale neighborhood of about 35 homes.  Many of us Mom's play Bunco or Pokeno once a month together so we know each other well.  Many of our kids know each other etc. 

I got an email today that I will post and change the names here. 

 

Mr. B's mother passed away this past weekend.  We are taking up a collection to purchase them a gift certificate at a nursery, so they may pick out a tree to plant in her honor.

If you are interested in participating, please drop off a donation in our newspaper box (under the mail box) by Saturday afternoon.  Please mark the envelope with your name.

 

They are always doing things like this, and sending cards and helping out neighbors.  When my Mom died 2 years ago, no one said boo to us.  I got one card from a neighbor after she found out a month later my Mom died.  People who knew right away that my Mom passed away and did nothing or didn't pass emails around or anything.  Yes, some are 2 faced in here, big time. 

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:56 AM

did they not know you as well as they do now? have they always taken up  or done for others 2 years ago? Have you participated in the past? will you be dropping off a check?

I think I would be hurt  not so much as pissed.If it bothered me a real lot like it seems to you.I would ask at the next game night,why no one acknowledged your mothers death 2 yrs ago.I would be very curios to hear their response.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

imthatgirl728
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:59 AM

Honestly I would want to send something anyway...and no I wouldn't let it upset me. I try not to live in a "tit for tat" kind of way.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:00 AM


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

did they not know you as well as they do now? have they always taken up  or done for others 2 years ago? Have you participated in the past? will you be dropping off a check?

I think I would be hurt  not so much as pissed.If it bothered me a real lot like it seems to you.I would ask at the next game night,why no one acknowledged your mothers death 2 yrs ago.I would be very curios to hear their response.


Yes, they knew me 2 years ago and well as now.   We moved in 4+ years ago.  Yes, they have done it for others, yes I participated but I will not be this time.  Many times I was asked in person, well, you can't very well say no when asked in person and everyone else is giving.  Not worth confronting them to me.  We will move in 3 years anyway, and can't wait.  Not for just this reason, we hate the cold winters here. 

mamakenzi
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:06 AM


Quoting imthatgirl728:

Honestly I would want to send something anyway...and no I wouldn't let it upset me. I try not to live in a "tit for tat" kind of way.


Kenzie

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3wonderfullboys
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:06 AM

I would be upset but this is what I would too.

Quoting imthatgirl728:

Honestly I would want to send something anyway...and no I wouldn't let it upset me. I try not to live in a "tit for tat" kind of way.


lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:07 AM


Quoting atlmom2:


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

did they not know you as well as they do now? have they always taken up  or done for others 2 years ago? Have you participated in the past? will you be dropping off a check?

I think I would be hurt  not so much as pissed.If it bothered me a real lot like it seems to you.I would ask at the next game night,why no one acknowledged your mothers death 2 yrs ago.I would be very curios to hear their response.


Yes, they knew me 2 years ago and well as now.   We moved in 4+ years ago.  Yes, they have done it for others, yes I participated but I will not be this time.  Many times I was asked in person, well, you can't very well say no when asked in person and everyone else is giving.  Not worth confronting them to me.  We will move in 3 years anyway, and can't wait.  Not for just this reason, we hate the cold winters here. 

   That's really mean of them.I'm sorry they didn't acknowledge your moms death. It's sad that adult women still act like Jr high school girls!

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

truely914
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:18 AM

When you give something you do it without expecting something in return.  If you do it this way then you don't get hurt feelings or get disappointed when something you feel should be acknowledged isn't.  Best wishes to you and your family. I'm also very sorry to hear about your mother!

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:20 AM

I really do this as you say but when they do it for EVERYONE else, but me, what the hell?  Someone had the swine flu and they were taking over food to their family even!!! 

Quoting truely914:

When you give something you do it without expecting something in return.  If you do it this way then you don't get hurt feelings or get disappointed when something you feel should be acknowledged isn't.  Best wishes to you and your family. I'm also very sorry to hear about your mother!


themountainmama
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:50 AM


Quoting 3wonderfullboys:

I would be upset but this is what I would too.

Quoting imthatgirl728:

Honestly I would want to send something anyway...and no I wouldn't let it upset me. I try not to live in a "tit for tat" kind of way.

 


I would also make sure if I knew of a neighbor in need, that I brought it to the attention of the person who heads this up. 

Were you in bunco two years ago?  Did you share your journey with your group?  We have bunco too and it is a tight group.  The bunco group does as yours does and supports those who participate.  The benevolence committee for the neighborhood at large is seperate from the bunco group.  Maybe yours is set up like that too? 

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.  It must have been painful to not feel the support of your neighbors in a way that you see others being supported.  I hope you are a vehicle of change so this doesn't happen again.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:43 AM

Yes, I have been in Bunco and Pokeno since I moved in.  No one is "in charge" exactly to get any word out or do anything.  Just someone seems to for everyone but us. 

Quoting themountainmama:


Quoting 3wonderfullboys:

I would be upset but this is what I would too.

Quoting imthatgirl728:

Honestly I would want to send something anyway...and no I wouldn't let it upset me. I try not to live in a "tit for tat" kind of way.

 


I would also make sure if I knew of a neighbor in need, that I brought it to the attention of the person who heads this up. 

Were you in bunco two years ago?  Did you share your journey with your group?  We have bunco too and it is a tight group.  The bunco group does as yours does and supports those who participate.  The benevolence committee for the neighborhood at large is seperate from the bunco group.  Maybe yours is set up like that too? 

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.  It must have been painful to not feel the support of your neighbors in a way that you see others being supported.  I hope you are a vehicle of change so this doesn't happen again.


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