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What are realistic expectations..

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:23 PM
  • 23 Replies

My son is 5 and lately it seems we are butting heads with him constantly. Maybe we are asking to much of him. I except him to be able to keep him room clean on a daily basis, go to school and not get in to trouble, and do what he is told without having a meltdown. Now I know kids are not perfect but shouldnt a 5 year old be able to handle these things? He is melting down lately alot. I mean if I even ask him to do ANYTHING he starts crying and saying he cant do it because its to hard! Are we asking to much at his age?

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MamaCass21
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:26 PM

IMO, it's a bit unreasonable to ask a 5 yr old to keep his room clean all the time. Maybe set a limit of no more than 3 toys out at a time? Has he just started snapping since school started?  Maybe there's something going on there?

rileya82
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:27 PM

No I don't think your asking too much, these are the same things I ask out of my 5 and 6 year olds. They will just try anything and everything to get out of doing it. LOL

taylormom82
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:39 PM

I talked to his teacher and she says hes great in class and rarely gets in trouble there. It seems to be just me and his dad that he gives grief too. I do sometimes help him clean up his room but I make him clean like half before I pitch in. He says I am awful for making him do things like put up his own laundry after I fold it, put his dish in the dishwasher and God forbid I ask him to do something like pick up the living room for me! I guess hes just been bitten by the lazy bug or something.

abstractmommy
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:41 PM

Maybe have a sit down with him and ask him what HE feels is realistic? Even at 5 years old he should have some idea of what he thinks he can do. Then take whatever that is and add to it gradually. I still put away my 7 y/o SS's clothes because I want it done right. But he makes his bed, puts his toys away, puts dishes in the sink, etc.

CafeMom Tickers
kgriffy83
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:45 PM

My 5 year old is doing this too. And these are things he would do with no problem before with no problem. He is also Talking back reel bad I have made an appt with his guidance counselor at school to see if there is anything else I can be doing to help him.

WImom2
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:48 PM

I have a 5 and a 6 yr old, both boys. Never once in their little lives have they actually "cleaned" anything. YET they both manage a good meltdown once every few months. Meltdowns are part of childhood I think. I expect my 5 and 6 yr old to not kill each other ( they play rough a lot), or touch anything that could possibly break (as in major appliances, light fixtures, their little brother, the dogs, etc), they are now expected to NOT touch any more power tools (as in you wouldn't believe me if I told you) and to be somewhat well behaved in public (as in no screaming at the grocery store, or not punching one another at church, ect). They manage to do these things. Lucky me!

shecallsmemom04
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:48 PM

any changes at home?  is he eating healthy?  is he getting enough sleep?

silly as it sounds i notice significant changes in the behavior of my children when something like that is off.  your diet, sleeping, and emotional state can really affect your mood.

and no, i don't think you are asking too much.

if you really want to know about me, just read my personal statement on my profile, it's easier. :-)
taylormom82
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:50 PM

Yeh we are having major issues with the back talk too. I told him today that when I speak he says yes ma'am and thats all, anything else earns him no tv for the night or a spanking. I love my kid but back talk sets my teeth on edge!

NiekaC
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 11:27 PM

If i was in ur situation, I would say Ill help you.  & help( just a bit) w/ picking up clothes & toys. & tell him where things go. After a while he should be able to handle it, if not, take out all the toys untill he learns to put them away himself.

rileya82
by on Nov. 13, 2009 at 6:14 AM

The only clothes my 5 and six year old have to put away are the ones that THEY pull out on to the floor, looking for things that they want. But as far as toys they get them out they can put them away too. My two year old picks her toys up and puts them in the toy box. You know they don't make as big of messes as they once did knowing they are going to pick it up. If they don't and are having one of those days than a evening TV show or out door play will be taken  away until they do it. I am sure they have to pick there blocks or whatever up at school too, why not at home?? You are NOT being unrealistic, it is our job to teach our kids the importance of picking up after their self.

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