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What would you do?

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:14 AM
  • 8 Replies

Ever since my son had turned 3 he has been allowed overnight visits with his dad. Well his dad is to have him home by 6. Well he came home last night and had not been fed. This isnt the first time it has happened, it has happened twice before.

Well when he gets here I tell my son he needs to go to the table to eat because his food was getting cold. They were 30 minutes late getting there and never called to say it had rained on them on the way. ( his dad lives 2 hours away).

So his dad said he was sorry he was late and then goes into detail about what my son had for lunch which was two pieces of pizza, 4 nuggets and 2 potato wedges. I aked if this was at 12 and he no 11:30. R U SERIOUS???? He let him go from 11:3o to 6:30 with no food. that is 7 HOURS!!!! I dont even go 7 hours inbetween meals.

So I confronted him about this and never responed. There is no reason that he could not have pulled in somewhere and got him something either A.) snack on or B.) eat as meal. He doesnt have to go inside and sit down and eat. My 3 yr old is very capable of eating in the car and not making a mess.

I dont want to keep my son from his dad but I am not about to EVER let him go hungry that long again. It just makes me wonder how long it had been inbetween meals the other times he came  hom hungry.

He doesnt alwasys tell me he is hungry or thristy and he sometimes will tell me he doesnt want to eat, but when you put the food and drink infront of him he ALWAYS takes it.

There is no excuse and this is unacceptable. Am I wrong here?

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by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:14 AM
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Replies (1-8):
CullenLover
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:20 AM

that is unacceptable.i dont see how he cannot offer something. geez! if he doesnt want to provide meals then let him know visits will be shorter since he cannot feed him

kristinas8
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:21 AM

Custody issues are always touchy subjects and I know it upsets you. But just remember that if your son is healthy and doesn't complain it's probably not hurting him. If he is losing weight or emotionally upset from hunger then you should do something but it really just seems to be a touchy subject for you and not your son. 

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squidsmommy
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:23 AM


Quoting kristinas8:

Custody issues are always touchy subjects and I know it upsets you. But just remember that if your son is healthy and doesn't complain it's probably not hurting him. If he is losing weight or emotionally upset from hunger then you should do something but it really just seems to be a touchy subject for you and not your son. 


mommytoG
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:26 AM

yah, but when he comes home and scrafs down his food like a dog does that hasnt eaten it weeks, it really pisses me off. And Like I said this isnt the first time he came home hungry either.

I guess I am going to have to tell him that if cannot feed him before he brings him home than he cannot have him til 6 and that he needs to be home by 4. ( this way he can have time eat, take a bath and unwhind before bed which is between 7:45 and 8) ANd if I have to go I will make a court date and get our papers changed. Dont want to go that route but I will  if I have to

Quoting kristinas8:

Custody issues are always touchy subjects and I know it upsets you. But just remember that if your son is healthy and doesn't complain it's probably not hurting him. If he is losing weight or emotionally upset from hunger then you should do something but it really just seems to be a touchy subject for you and not your son. 


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lcbowman
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:26 AM

Keep in mind your Ex does not know your son as well as you do.  And unless he has had a lot of experience with children he may not realize that is too long for your child to go in between eating.  In as nice a way as possible tell him that DS needs to eat something every _____ hours,  one of his favorite snacks that he eats well in a car is ______.  I would also nicely ask him that if he can see he is going to be more than 10 minutes late would he please call so you won't worry. 

Rogue35
by Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:27 AM

Well maybe when you send him to his dad I would let him take a backpack.  I would put juices,snacks and anything else in there that your kid likes. Maybe then his dad will get the idea of how you feel.  I think then you will feel better knowing he has food with him.

rogue35

kristinas8
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:29 AM


Quoting Rogue35:

Well maybe when you send him to his dad I would let him take a backpack.  I would put juices,snacks and anything else in there that your kid likes. Maybe then his dad will get the idea of how you feel.  I think then you will feel better knowing he has food with him.


This too.

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mommytoG
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 11:37 AM

That is a good idea but I shouldnt have to do that. He has a 6 yr old so he should know. He just doesnt want to take the time  or spend the money, I know him too well. It shouldnt be my responsibility to send him food and something to drink or money to buy him something when he is not in my care.

But maybe that is something I need to do so I at least know that my son is not hungry, as if I dont have enough to take care of already, I shouldnt have to add my sons dad to list of things to take care of. I am about to have a baby in 11 days

Quoting Rogue35:

Well maybe when you send him to his dad I would let him take a backpack.  I would put juices,snacks and anything else in there that your kid likes. Maybe then his dad will get the idea of how you feel.  I think then you will feel better knowing he has food with him.


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