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Mom of an Exchange student

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 12:35 PM
  • 10 Replies

My daughter is an exchange student in France. I miss her very much. I found that I was doing well with her being gone in the begining. But now that the holidays are approaching and she has been gone a little over 3 months, I am finding that I am having a difficult time. I am trying not to let this drag me down but I can not help it. The things I do like baking cookies for the holiday would be something we would do together. So as I bake today, I cant help but miss her. I do Skype with her regular and chat on Facebook but it is just not like when she is here. I have to say she is doing great on her exchange and that helps me to know that. But i really miss her. My husband and son are understanding about this but they are men if you know what I mean. Any advice.

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 12:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bonanza15
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 12:54 PM

Hi!

I don't have any advice to give you. I am writing because this touched my heart. I was also an exchange student a few years back, unfortunately i was too young&naive to understand my mom's feelings. I think it is great that you keep in touch with her and that she is adjusting well.Experiences like that (being away from home in another country and culture) are so incredibly beneficial to us. I grew up to be a much more understanding and open minded person after my years of study abroad. Just keep on supporting her! Only good things can come out of this experience and she will realize even more how much her family means to her.It brings people even closer. Surround yourself with nice people and make time for yourself while she is gone. Make yourself busy!

Good luck!

Hairduct
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:41 PM

Well I must say that I shed a tear or two after reading your post, but I did take your advice and went for a walk even though it was about 40 degrees out. I did think about my daughter, but it did help to clear my head at least. Thanks for the advice.

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Dec. 1, 2009 at 6:20 PM

Huge hugs momma.Last Christmas my son(21) was in Afghanistan.It about killed me.So I get how much you are missing her.Its OK to feel sad.Change it up a little this year.I couldnt go thru the same routine of Christams I just couldnt my husband younger son and siblings understood.Bake the cookies and show them to her on Skype Let her know how much you miss her It's ok. I sat down and wrote my son a letter a few days before Christmas~~~~ I have not givin it to him yet.There will be a day when it feels appropriate.I poured my heart out to him.Today I can not tell you much about last years Christmas at my home.I know the usuals showed up and I remeber my younger son saying This is too weird we should have gone away for christmas this year.Other than that its a blur. Take one day at a time momma and huge hugs.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Dec. 1, 2009 at 6:34 PM

Just remember what an opportunity she is having.  We lived in Italy for 2 years a few years ago. My daughter has been friends with several foreign exchange students in the past few years.  They really had a good time and while they wanted to see their parents again, they were not ready to leave the US after their 10 months were up.  We took my daughters friend from Denmark last year to the mall of America for a long weekend.  She had so much fun.  It was sad after graduation and she moved back. She called the other day to get the scoop on some people from my daughter. 

xChasingxAmyx
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 6:47 PM

Oh mama that must be tough. I haven't been in either position but I hope you find some comfort soon. You're so wonderful for doing this for her. 

Hairduct
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Thanks everyone, I just feel like I could cry at the drop of a dime. I am really trying to get over these emotions, but my body is not letting me. Thanks for all the advice.

bonanza15
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 9:20 PM


Quoting Hairduct:

Thanks everyone, I just feel like I could cry at the drop of a dime. I am really trying to get over these emotions, but my body is not letting me. Thanks for all the advice.


I can't imagine how you feel.I am a momma myself now and honestly, wouldn't like if my dd ever decided to go so far for who knows how long. But think about all the positive sides, things that she will be learning etc. And trust me, home sweet home becomes so dear once you've been gone for a while;) Also, you mentioned that you have other children in the house& as well as your spouse. I see that as a positive thing also.When i left, my mom was alone and divorced; i can't imagine how she coped or to whom she told about her loneliness. You have your husband to spend time with and i'm sure he also misses her,so you share common feelings. And as others here said:it is ok to be sad.Those feelings of sadness never leave because you love your family and your daughter.You care for her and are used to seeing her anytime. I am all grown up now with a family of my own. How wonbderful that you have a great relationship with your children. Distance will never change that. I have a lot of family who lives around the corner and i barely see them,although we are of the same age and all have kids.

Your daughter must be a courageous girl and you a great mom, for making this happen for her!

Hairduct
by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 9:54 PM

Well thank you for the compliment. I know this will only help her in her future. She is handling this way better than I am. I am very glad about that. It would be even more difficult if she was having a hard time. I had a very busy day at work today which has helped me. I will keep plugging away. Thanks again.

JazzysWifey
by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 10:04 PM

i was an exchange student my junior year of high school to germany. i definitely know that these feelings are hardest around this time of year. i can assure you she's probably feeling the same way. definitely count your blessings. as little as 9 years ago when i was over there there was no skype and email was not as easily accessible- internet was still very expensive. take lots of pics to share with her and maybe express ship some of those homebaked cookies ;)


Daisypath - (QBBa)Lilypie - (TkJg)
Lilypie - (0XXH)
Carrie: I'm a BFing, co-sleeping, extended rear facing, baby wearing, vaccinating, non-CIO, working, college educated, military supporting, gay marriage supporting, foreign language teaching, open-minded Mama!!!!

Seppesmom
by on Dec. 4, 2009 at 1:36 AM

bump for later!

Quoting Hairduct:

My daughter is an exchange student in France. I miss her very much. I found that I was doing well with her being gone in the begining. But now that the holidays are approaching and she has been gone a little over 3 months, I am finding that I am having a difficult time. I am trying not to let this drag me down but I can not help it. The things I do like baking cookies for the holiday would be something we would do together. So as I bake today, I cant help but miss her. I do Skype with her regular and chat on Facebook but it is just not like when she is here. I have to say she is doing great on her exchange and that helps me to know that. But i really miss her. My husband and son are understanding about this but they are men if you know what I mean. Any advice.


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