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OK mamas, cheer me up!

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 6:34 PM
  • 3 Replies

This time of year always gets me a little down, but now I was going to adopt a sweet adorable basset hound from a rescue and someone else got her first. I'm happy for her and happy for her forever family, but a little sad for me. In addition to all my normal holiday blahs, I just feel like crying, so let's see who can make me laugh. A picture, story, joke, video, let's have 'em.

                 Hi, I'm Danielle. Here I am in a nutshell:

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 6:34 PM
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BaileynMe
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 6:40 PM

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? 

Elephino...(you have to say it out loud)


So, a couple weeks ago I was at my friend's house. I have a 21 month daughter and she has two boys, 2 1/2 and 1 1/2. The 2 1/2 year old, Lucas, likes to put rocks on my daughter's head (he doesn't hurt her, but she doesn't like it) and so I was trying to distract him by having him put the rocks (it's gravel that their play area is on outside) in my hands, then rubbing my hands together and letting the rocks fall to the ground. He and his brother, Evan, thought that was great and were cracking up! Well, then Bailey (my daughter) noticed that I was playing with the two boys and not her and got all jealous so I told Evan and Lucas that we were all done and I turned around to pick her up and when I bent over to get her LUCAS STUCK TWO HANDFULS OF ROCKS DOWN MY PANTS. 

He thinks this is so funny, he proceeds to put rocks down his own onesie. Of course, they get lodged in his diaper and all of the sudden he realizes that this doesn't feel good so he starts to walk toward the door to the house, but the rocks in his diaper shift and all he can do is stand there and cry because of the rocks he put down his own diaper. 

I was almost in tears I was laughing so hard that day. 



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AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Dec. 1, 2009 at 6:40 PM

Hmm. Okay.

Today my 8 year old daughter asked me what an "orgasm" is. Apparently the children have very interesting discussions at lunch. Imagine the look on my face and me slamming the brakes when she asked (I was driving at the time). That should be good for a laugh. We have had the sex talk, but ORGASM? God help me.

I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mum. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. I am submissive and proud, my husband is head of my home. I am a proud, traditional Roman Catholic, as is my husband... Yes we are teaching our daughter that The Church is the only Church.               Aimee


xChasingxAmyx
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 6:40 PM

 

I was backing out from the garage in my Tahoe. I hit something lightly and it made a thud. For some reason, I ASSumed (lol) it was the bucket DH left out when he was washing the cars. Whenever he washes the cars, he leaves this ginormous bucket out. I always almost hit it when backing out. Well thinking I was teaching HIM a lesson, I pulled up and this time put some gas to the pedal to crush the bucket and teach him a lesson. Well... it wasn't the bucket. It was DH's car !!!!!!!!  So I literally rammed his car TWICE in about 30 seconds. Frantic, I pretended to see a stray cat that "scared" me. (Hey it's the best I could do under pressure). I told DH and he laughed at me and knew instantly I was trying to cover my tracks. A $500 deductible later, you can't tell.

The moral of the story.. don't make someone an example unless you want to be the butt of a running joke.. that never stops running :o)

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