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How do I find a balance?

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 7:57 PM
  • 5 Replies

I have no idea how to find a balance.  I have a two and a half year old and I have a 7 month old.  I also have a 17 year old stepdaughter that lives with us, who is very involved in sports. I wake up at 5:30 every morning to go to work and I'm home in time to make dinner and play a little bit with the kids before they go to bed.  I feel as though I'm letting my husband down because the house isn't constantly kept.  Little things aren't like they used to be.  His ironing isn't done for him anymore and it takes me longer to keep up with the laundry.  I feel like there's this elephant in the room and he's about to lose it at any second.  How do people do it?  How are people excellenct employees, excellent moms, and excellent housewives all at the same time?  I hate feeling like no matter what I do, I'm letting someone down?  How do I keep up with the expectations?  Any advice is welcome.

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 7:57 PM
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by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 8:09 PM

All I can say is that you are not alone......   Just do the best that you can.  Does your hubby help out ?   You have kids,  you house doesnt have to look like a museum.  

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 8:13 PM

I felt like this when I was working for a major corperation.  I encourage you, if you even think you may be able to, to quit or to go part time.  Quiting my job, even the loss of the $ was the best thing for my family.  I feel whole now.  I'm going to school part time (well full time credits but feels part time, lol!).  If you even think you maybe able to them make it work. The money will figure its self out. 


Having a bad day?  Come vent here WITHOUT the drama of the other groups!

by Barb on Dec. 1, 2009 at 8:24 PM

You may want to check on a housecleaning service- say every week or at least every two weeks. If it matters if the shirts are ironed, send them to the cleaners. Cook a large batch of food a freeze small batches so that you don't have to cook every night. Or see if your husband will pick up some of the slack and help more with the children and household matters.  Or do his own ironing.  Let some of the cleaning, other than bathrooms and kitchens,  go longer than you would ordinarily. Perhaps you could pay the 17 year old to do some childcare or cleaning or something-  if so give her a fair wage for what she does.


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by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 8:44 PM

I know you said that your daughter was really involved in sports but when I was in high school I had a job AND ran track.  My parents always had a list of chores for me to do when I would get home after school.  Just minor things that helped my mom out so she could come home from work and take care of the big stuff.  I would take out the trash, do up some dishes, or throw some laundry in.  At night when I would get home from work and there were dishes in the sink from supper (this was very rarely, my mom cleans as she cooks) I would do them up really quickly so I wouldn't have to mess with them after school the next day.  And now that I am an adult, I have an almost 3 year old that helps me with laundry.  I seperate clothes into piles and turn on the water and she throws the pile that I show her into the washer.  I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but if you're working a full-time job your family needs to be helping out.  That means your 17 y/o and husband need to be pitching in too.  I'm a SAHM and that's my full time job so no one really helps me do it...It would be different it you were SAHM, too.  Good luck!

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by Silver Member on Dec. 1, 2009 at 8:58 PM

So, why do you have to do everythjing? Why can't your husband help? Marriage is supposed to be 50/50. Sounds like you're doing 100% of the work.

Personally, I'd tell him either start pulling his weight or GTFO.

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