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"I never have your DD sleep in the crib" says MIL--ARGH *long, somewhat ranty*

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:25 PM
  • 10 Replies

Hi Everyone, I need some advice. 

My MIL watches DD while I'm at work (mostly at my house).  I told her several months ago that she needed to start having DD nap in the crib, not the swing, etc.  Lately, I've noticed more and more stuff in the crib.  The last time MIL watched DD, when I came home there were: 4 blankets, 1 towel, 3 stuffed animals, 1 book and a boppy pillow in the crib. 

This morning, I asked her not to do that again and explained that having too many things in the crib is a suffocation hazard.  She told me in a very cheery tone that it was OK because, "I never have baby SLEEP in the crib!"  I told MIL that she was supposed to have been putting DD down for naps in the crib.   

Just this weekend, I tried and tried to get dd to nap in the crib. I thought it was just that she wouldn't sleep in the crib because I was around but apparently she wouldn't nap in the crib because DD associates the crib with PLAY TIME not nap time.   

At any rate, we co-sleep at night but I'm thinking it's time to begin the transition to DD sleeping in her own room.  I don't know how this could possibly be accomplished if I can't get DD to sleep in her crib.  I can't even get my idiot troll MIL to put DD down for naps in the crib.  DH is probably on the phone right now telling MIL that it's OK to ignore everything  I said this morning and apologizing for his mean nasty wife (UGH).     

Any ideas on the crib issue?  Is there any way to transition her to the crib when MIL probably will not put her down for naps in it?  DD is happy in the crib if she's sitting up and awake but gets grumpy in the crib once she starts to get sleepy.  Maybe I should give up on the whole issue until we turn the crib into a toddler bed. Sorry this is so long and ranty. I'm just so frustrated.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone.


by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mamakenzi
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:28 PM

I'm sorry, that really sucks.  Unless all of the caregivers go by the same guidelines you will not get that baby in a crib.  If it's possible, I would find another sitter.

Kenzie

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liz1986
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:30 PM

I would try CIO. But don't just leave her in there to cry. Go in there every 10 minutes and tell her, "Mommy's still here. It's ok. It's time for bed." Then lay her back down and tuck her in. CIO worked on my oldest son. We did it one night and he has been a perfect sleeper ever since. 

mommyto_j_j_s
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:31 PM

 um...wow, that is annoying (MIL)
 I have always started my children by getting a routine going...bath, story, bed.
 keep laying her down - but don't speak to her. She needs to know that hte bed is not "play" area etc.  You will have to let her cry a little, a few minutes, go back in and then lay her down, (not talking to her or turning on lights) and keep doing that.  it will be tough.
Tell MIL that if she is not going to use the crib for SLEEPING then not to use it at all!
it's your child though, so it should be your rules.
Sems like your mil is using the crib like some would use a playpen....do you have a pack n' play? maybe your mil could use that in the living room or something for yoru dd to play in.
Where IS she giving your dd naps???

liz1986
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:33 PM

Oh, and I agree that if you can't get your MIL to lay her down in the crib, it's time to find a new babysitter.  Your DD needs consistancy with her sleeping arrangements.

crzemom
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:36 PM

lol sounds like my mil but with potty training. he was almost totally potty trained cuz i wasnt working that much but now that i work 6 days a week he not potty trained nemore.

alwaysyoung
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:42 PM

bump

chair.r13
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:54 PM

Make the swing unavailable, and have a heart to heart with MIL and DH

mommagann
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 1:09 PM

my daughter co-slept for 14 months. She was breast fed so this made it easier on me.....when i stopped nursing i put her in her crib......now, this was NOT easy. ..but it was needed. It had to be done. Having a little one in the bed is not good for you or your s/o. Like I said, getting her in her bed was HARD! but I did it, cold turkey.. she didn't have the option of whether or not she'd be sleeping in her bed, it's what was done. It took about a week..I'd say...something along those lines.....I let her CIO...now, this was not a continuous cry, I would go to her room about every 5-10 minutes, tell her I was here for her, and assured her that I loved her and that she is okay..then walked away, DON'T pick her up! I'd continue doing this till she would calm down, then I'd walk away OUT of the room. give her a few minutes, if she was crying go back in, I did this a few times, and eventually she just tired herself out from crying. ....I know this sounds cruel...I know many mothers feel that way. But I don't know what else I could have done...it worked...it took a few nights of little sleep, but it worked, she just has to get used to it......I stress to you the importance of keeping a strict routine with her..with my daughter we eat around 5:30 till 6:15, play for about 30-45 minutes, give her a bath, rub her down with lotion like massage feet and stuff, get her dressed, read a story, say prayers, turn out the lights and put her night time music on, (She has had music from the beginning, it helped tremendously to calm her down--I suggest you buy a lullaby CD and get her used to hearing that, it helps so much at nap time too....we took the CD on a road trip, at nap time we play it and she is out.) ..(routine nap time and bed time helps with this too) I leave and she goes to sleep. ....... good luck momma, and please stress to your MIL how important a routine is for a baby. .....tell her that although she is helping you out by watching her while you are at work, she is ultimitely hurting you and your DD by constinitally changing her routine. ....good luck

reux
by Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 3:49 PM

Thanks so very much for your suggestions!  I'm not really sure what I'll do at this point, but this certainly helps. DD is just 6 months old so maybe I'll hold off on the transition for a while longer until she's ready for the toddler bed and just skip the dumb crib alltogether.

canthaveboys1
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 3:57 PM


Quoting mamakenzi:

I'm sorry, that really sucks.  Unless all of the caregivers go by the same guidelines you will not get that baby in a crib.  If it's possible, I would find another sitter.

I agree. Everyone has to be on the same wave lenght.

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