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Christmas etiquette help

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:07 PM
  • 9 Replies

 So, here's the situation:
I live with my sis and her hubby. We're not doing much for xmas, just the 3 of us and my dd. They've asked me to invite my friend, her hubby and son so we could do something, maybe have dinner and just enjoy eachother's company (nothing big). In our culture we open gifts on the 24th, so I told my friend that she could bring her gifts over to our house and open them here. But they're not celebrating big, they're not getting eachother gifts (no prob). Thing is my sis and her hubby wanna get her son a gift. But I think it's inappropriate and might my friend feel bad cause she's not getting her own son a gift nor one for my sis. My sis and her hubby think xmas is just about gifts and cash. As a matter of fact, they got my dd a gift and I'm not getting my own dd one, which makes me feel guilty. They say the wanna get one for her son because they invited her to come over and it's the nice thing to do. But it seems that they aren't considering how she might feel.
Question: Is it ok for them to get my friend's son a gift?
Should I ask my friend how she feels about it beforehand? I told my sis I'd ask my friend but she rather I not, since she'd like to keep the gift a surprise.

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by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:07 PM
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Replies (1-9):
my4kidsrock2
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:10 PM

I would talk to the friend. Surprises aren't always a good thing.

ThePinkRobot
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:12 PM

They sound generous.  I'd just let them have their fun giving gifts their way.  I don't know how it could be construed to be rude to give a child a gift on xmas! 

AngieMarie08
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:16 PM

Im torn, the first two posts were what i was thinking. I wouldnt have her NOT give her son a gift tho.

onecuteladybug2
by Member on Dec. 15, 2009 at 11:37 AM

If you have invited them to your home for a celebration that involves ANYONE opening gifts in front of them, you should make sure that at the very least, the child has a gift to open. If the child is old enough and has to sit there and watch others opening gifts, he is going to feel bad, and that is not what Christmas is meant to be.

MOM22QTS
by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 11:40 AM

I don't see how it could offend your friend at all for your sis to get her son a gift. I would think she should be grateful considering their will be some exchanging of gifts, and instead of her son looking around sad without a gift to open, he will have something that will preoccupy him and put a smile on his face. what better gift than to see your child happy. Not everyone who buys gifts for someone expects something in return.  

Humboldt0608
by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 11:40 AM

I would say it's fine as long as they are giving and not doing it expecting to recieve. I've always seen it as polite to buy for the younger kids so they have something to open and have never expected anything in return.

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Dec. 15, 2009 at 11:43 AM

*I* would ask the parents first, and then make it FROM SANTA, so it's not a matter of another adult getting them a gift.

lilliputiansmom
by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 5:03 PM

If the reason the friends are not giving there own child a gift is lack of $$ or that the child too young to know it's Christmas, then No I would see nothing wrong with your sister giving the child a gift. She's doing to be nice not spiteful.

If they don't believe in gifts to celebrate the holiday I would ask your friend if it's OK. Most parents wouldn't care if the child got a gift.

Why would you feel guilty about them giving your child a gift? She lives with them, they are accustomed to giving gifts, let them. You didn't say anything about kids for them, they may just think it's fun to watch her. My sister and BIL have no children and they buy things I'd never spend $$ on, but they want to and enjoy it.

canthaveboys1
by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 5:17 PM


Quoting onecuteladybug2:

If you have invited them to your home for a celebration that involves ANYONE opening gifts in front of them, you should make sure that at the very least, the child has a gift to open. If the child is old enough and has to sit there and watch others opening gifts, he is going to feel bad, and that is not what Christmas is meant to be.

I agree.

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