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Becoming a step mom- help

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:44 PM
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My hubby and I received a letter in the mail from the Baltimore City Child Support Administration. My initial reaction: WTF!!?? To my understanding he had no children! He had 4 exes that he told me of- he didn't get any of them pregnant. I asked him- How is this possible? He finally admitted to me that there was this one night stand, about a month before we had met. He didn't want to tell me about it  in fear of losing me. Of course he knew I would be mad, but I don't think I would have left him for that. As long as he wasn't cheating! He has not taken a DNA test yet. He will do that next Monday. So for 3 days- since we've gotten the letter, I haven't been able to eat or sleep, I have been a wreck! I'm so hurt! He lied to me so he could have a better chance with me?? I forgive him, but just the fact of dealing with a possible 4 or 5 year old stepchild that neither of us knew anything about until we got the letter Dec 30th! What should I expect? I'm soooo scared. I have been shaking uncontrollably and getting sick from all this anxiety. I love my husband so much and I know he didnt mean to hurt me. But we have this perfect little family Him, me and our 1 year old. I feel like this is wrecking everything! I wish it never happened and we

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:44 PM
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EdgeOfSanity
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:56 PM

I don't understand why he thought you would be mad at him about a one night stand if it was before you.

I know it's hard, but try to stay calm. There is no point in worrying yourself silly over something you have no control of. If it turns out this is his child, expect to go through a range of emotions.

I've been through the same thing, except we don't know if dh is the father for sure. He was with snother woman while we were temporarily split up. We won't do a dna test until she requests child support. She moved over 1000 miles away before she had the baby, so he's only seen her once. It was one of the hardest things in the world for me to see, especially since I had just had a baby of our own. Ds is 40 days younger than the little girl.

It does get easier in time. I hope for your sake that the child isn't his. Good luck with everything and pm me if you want to talk.

 

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