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Is it just me and i'm overreacting?? Should i just say move on with it??

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:34 AM
  • 83 Replies

ok, my baby is due soon, and i watch a lot of baby shows where the docs always say take it a little easy after birth, adn dont try to do too much. I asked my mom after i had the baby would she microwave me a hot pocket, or a noodle cup if i needed her to. she flat out told me no, and said you will just need to get up and do everything yourslef. i was confused bcuz she said she wanted to help so much after the baby was born. my sister gave the same answer she did. So what help are they exactly volunteering for?? so i went to my room and cried bcuz it still feels like i'm all alone, i might as well be alone.I can handle all baby related things myself, like changing diapers and feeding her, etc. bcuz i dont do anything now except watch movies, wash the dishes every now and then, and stay in my room. So i'm thinking that they need to not help with the baby if they can't help me. is it me and i'm being unreasonable, or are they right by saying these things?

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
hggmommy87
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:37 AM

well what are you wanting them to do take care of you or your baby?

trentntats
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:43 AM

When the drs say take it easy...they mean don't lift up anything heavy, don't run 3 miles...don't overexert yourself..just try to rest. You will be able to make yourself something to eat. I think you are just being a little sensitive.

Destiny1403
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:43 AM

How old are you?  You still live with your mother?  Im only asking this because this could be the reasons that you are getting those answers. Im sure things will change once the baby is born but you mother may be trying to prepare you mentally for the work that you have to do after??? That is all that I can think of. You say you sit in your room and watch movies most of the day and do dishes here and there. Honestly, I would probably be telling you the same thing.......

ariesp19
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:44 AM

its hard to say..... i mean, shuold they help? well, thats up to them....... but articles have been published lately about how moms now a days, compared to 50 or so years ago, are under more stress..... actually, the wording of one is 'even with all the new things out to make mothering easyer, modern moms are under more stress then our mothers and grandmothers'..... why? cause it used to be the norm to a)help out with younger siblings, so women got plenty of practice... and b)mothers, sisters, and other women, would come togeather and help out the new mom(makeing easy meals, helping clean, ect)so she could rest.... now, as your mom has said, we are expected to do it ourselfs....

kinda reminds me of the cleaning comercials... women are still depicted as the household cleaners... and the kids care givers... yet we are also expected to hold down full time jobs....and if we expect help from our spouses, we are called lazy... if they give it willingly, spoiled.....

however, i have to ask.... why are you living with your mom? did she offer? are you on bed rest? yes, it would be nice of her to help...... but if your living with her, she kinda is already helping, by providing a place for you and your baby to live...... weres the fatehr?

Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:44 AM

Your emotions are probably unusually high because you are expecting.  You certainly, unless there are unforeseen complications of some kind, will be able to use the microwave yourself. You'll be able to walk and do at least simple chores- wash up after yourself, take care of the baby, and so forth. I suspect you are more upset that family members say they won't give you extra help with day to day activities than that you fear that you won't be able to do things. But look at it this way, you are soon to be a mother- the guide, caregiver, nurse, teacher of a new human being, someone who will grow and learn and someone that you will need to show how to be strong and take care of themselves. Now is the time for you to prove to yourself that you can stand on your own and take charge of your life. You don't need to rely on others to do tasks, especially simple tasks such as microwaving a simple meal, or washing your own dishes, or doing your own laundry, or taking care of your own child. You are woman!!  Let's hear you ROAR!!!

mom198005
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:47 AM

good luck on this one i have had 5 children everyone and their dogs said theyd help with Anything i needed guess what?babies have been born no help get used to doing everything by yourself i fortunalty had (have) a hubby that helps when he can but of course with 5 kids he has to work

isaiahsmomma86
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:48 AM

I think take it a little easy means more like, taking it slow goin up stairs or not doing hard exercises immediately after giving birth... The best help for me after i had my son was someone watching him and letting me sleep, everything else i basically did on my own, but i was feeling very motherly and just wanted to take care of everything. You might find you'll feel the same way too. But before i gave birth, that would have hurt my feelings too, its the hormones.

Heather- I am a  vaxing, non CIO, disposable diapering, formula feeding, stay at home mommy to Isaiah and happily married to the best hubby ever, Patrick.

mamakenzi
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:50 AM

No joke!  I was thinking the same thing!  My mom helped me with the baby, not fetching me food.  It sounds like you are pretty damn lazy before you give birth and you think having a baby will be a good excuse to sit on your ass.   Grow up.

Quoting Destiny1403:

How old are you?  You still live with your mother?  Im only asking this because this could be the reasons that you are getting those answers. Im sure things will change once the baby is born but you mother may be trying to prepare you mentally for the work that you have to do after??? That is all that I can think of. You say you sit in your room and watch movies most of the day and do dishes here and there. Honestly, I would probably be telling you the same thing.......


Kenzie

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canthaveboys1
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:52 AM

Honestly, I didnt have help with any of them. People usually ended up getting on my nerves. My youngest daughters father tried to help but got on my nerves and i told him to stop.

ariesp19
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:55 AM

i have had, and have to have if i have more kids, c/s....... the first one, i had very little to no help... my hubs was working so many hrs, and then when my son was 6 weeks, he deployed..... that c/s, was pure hell..... everytime i had to move, i would vomit from the pain.... i did not get the 2 weeks rest they told me too... the no driving a car, the no lifting anything heavyer then the baby, baisically, i was told to do no housework at all, and just care for the baby.... i could not do that... the only help my hubs could give, was watching him so i could sleep..... all my friends? ya, no clue what happend to them, but they werent there, lol....

with caleb, jeremy took 2 weeks off of work for that c/s..... made it so much better... i kinda just sat... all i did, was take care of the baby and myself... my hubs took care of our older, and most the houseworks and cooking(i say most, cause hes not as good as me in that area, lol)....

op, if you have a reg vag birth, everyone i know was up and about...... all they did, was not lift things too heavy, no runing, or sit ups...... baisically, dont over do it.... but everyone i know whos had a vag birith, was great the next day..... my cousin has had 4 vag(one c/s)and shed go to the store the next day......

your dr, after the birth, should tell you what activities are a no go

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