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The Babywise book. edited now that I have read the book cover to cover

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:29 PM
  • 15 Replies

I've been reading it because one of my friends suggested it to me and said it worked wonders with her kids. I've decided I don't like it at all and I've only gotten to page 45. It's basically saying that if you practice attachment parenting with your kids you're a bad parent almost and that you're going to have spoiled rotten kids because you always give them everything they want. It says they'll never sleep and will always want everything and will want to be the center of your universe. It's saying if you feed a baby every hour they won't thrive. That's pretty funny because my 6 month old is 23 pounds and 26 inches long and eats every hour and my 2 year old did the exact same thing. It says that practicers of attachment parenting will have super clingy kids that will never leave you alone and you'll never get a night out because they won't go to a baby sitter. My kids will go to babysitters just fine and have never had an issue. This book cracks me up and makes me a little mad at the same time.

If you've used this book, maybe I'm reading too much into it or just haven't read far enough. Could you please clarify what exactly this book teaches if I'm reading it wrong?

Edit:

I have read this book from cover to cover and I find it appalling! The statement that stood out to me the most was, "In practice, emotional mothering can set the stage for child abuse." They are saying that when you used your emotions to care for your child when they are crying, you'll become abusive to them. I can agree that kids do need some structure in their day, but letting a baby cry it out after the first week of life is very mean. They say that after the first week, you should start with your routine and put the baby in bed and let them cry if they have to. That is just mean to do to a 2 week old baby.

This book may work for some parents, but I'm not all for the things they want me to do to my children. I have too many emotions I guess. I hope I don't become abusive to my children.


Women should not feel guilty if they are UNABLE to breastfeed, but they should feel guilty if they are UNWILLING to do so, and they should be intellectually honest enough to know the difference.
A proud Christian, Republican, Breastfeeding, Attachment parenting, Extended Rear Facing and Extended Harnessing, ANTI- CIO, Former fully vaxing, but now delayed and very selectively vaxing, mommy to my 3 beautiful girls and wife to my Marine!

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
savedbygrace316
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:38 PM

This book was a big help to me.  But I also didn't take it as the WORD of baby raising.  You have to read it and decide what you want to take from it.  My 10mo is with me 24/7, I don't CIO and I tried to push out his feedings but feed him if needed before time was up.  I honestly think you are just reading to much into it.  JMO

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dosthepost
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:05 PM

I've heard that it's a TERRIBLE book. Isn't that the one that tells you your child should sleep through the night at like, 3 months or something crazy? From what I understand, that book teaches you how to be a hands off parent... to put it nicely. I'd call it lazy, personally. I hold my child when she wants to be held, and got her at night when she cried. She's never been needy, and she started consistently sleeping through the night at 12 months old. 

MomToBeISaMom
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:06 PM

I've not read this book, but I will say that no one should parent by the book...by any book.  Take advice from here and there and make it work for you and your family.  What works for me will not work for you.

norahs_mommy
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:09 PM

BURN IT!!! I read that whole book right after I had my second DD 6 months ago....it totally stressed me and the baby out trying to follow what they are saying! Your baby will tell you not a book! JMO!! Good Luck to you!

BaileynMe
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:09 PM

I read the book about two years ago. It wasn't a  method I agreed with fully, but there were things I knew I could use, so I took what I could and left the rest. 

Just because you don't agree with ALL of what they're saying doesn't mean you can't learn from it. :-) 



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onefootcutiepie
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:10 PM

It's not a horrible book, but it's NOT for everybody and it's methods will NOT work for EVERY family. I have a LOT of friends who act like you are a bad parent if you don't follow the book. I burned my copy after I used it with my firstborn. Not for us. Didn't work, made us miserable.

What I really don't like is that when people who've succesfully used it and their kids sleep through the night have a tendency to be rude and have no compassion for people whose kids do NOT sleep through the night. That irritates me. Like I said, I burned my copy and I never recommend it as a resource to anybody.

Randi02
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:11 PM

You're not reading it wrong.

Even the AAP advises against this book. Babies are born to be fed and sleep on demand. This book can be detrimental to a breastfeeding mother supply and this method has been the cause of failure to thrive etc.

Any reputable health organization or professional will advise AGAINST this book.

Attachment parenting is how our babies are meant to be raised : ) Just like all other mammals, we are designed to nurse our young and keep them close to us.

I am a Canadian,breastfeeding (it IS best, there is nothing even close to that nutrition and bond), co sleeping, extended rear facing (if you don't rear face to the maximum of your seat, you're NOT doing all you can to protect your child), baby wearing, Non spanking (I want my kids to respect me, not fear me) ANTI- CIO, homemade baby food making, cloth diapering, organic (chemical free household!) recycling mama to TWO and one one the way! My husband is my equal and best friend, not my master and I believe basic health care should be a human RIGHT, not a privilege.

mommyof2grls06
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:22 PM

OK. So, all in all, it's a bad book. I've read it some more and it's really not for me at all. I just can't agree with 90% of the things in here. I think this one is destined for the trash.

Women should not feel guilty if they are UNABLE to breastfeed, but they should feel guilty if they are UNWILLING to do so, and they should be intellectually honest enough to know the difference.
A proud Christian, Republican, Breastfeeding, Attachment parenting, Extended Rear Facing and Extended Harnessing, ANTI- CIO, Former fully vaxing, but now delayed and very selectively vaxing, mommy to my 3 beautiful girls and wife to my Marine!

Randi02
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:33 PM

You should really look the Ezzos up.

He has another amazing book on discipline. Basically, if you don't beat the hell out of your children, they won't respect you. A good spanking should never be gentle, using a tool called a "whacker" is also recommended (basically like a rubber spatula and should be used starting with older babies and young toddlers)

What's REALLY scary is that these ideals are taught in many churches... There are Ezzo parenting classes based on his books...

Quoting mommyof2grls06:

OK. So, all in all, it's a bad book. I've read it some more and it's really not for me at all. I just can't agree with 90% of the things in here. I think this one is destined for the trash.


I am a Canadian,breastfeeding (it IS best, there is nothing even close to that nutrition and bond), co sleeping, extended rear facing (if you don't rear face to the maximum of your seat, you're NOT doing all you can to protect your child), baby wearing, Non spanking (I want my kids to respect me, not fear me) ANTI- CIO, homemade baby food making, cloth diapering, organic (chemical free household!) recycling mama to TWO and one one the way! My husband is my equal and best friend, not my master and I believe basic health care should be a human RIGHT, not a privilege.

mommyof2grls06
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:45 PM

Wow, why would people even consider spanking a baby?

Quoting Randi02:

You should really look the Ezzos up.

He has another amazing book on discipline. Basically, if you don't beat the hell out of your children, they won't respect you. A good spanking should never be gentle, using a tool called a "whacker" is also recommended (basically like a rubber spatula and should be used starting with older babies and young toddlers)

What's REALLY scary is that these ideals are taught in many churches... There are Ezzo parenting classes based on his books...

Quoting mommyof2grls06:

OK. So, all in all, it's a bad book. I've read it some more and it's really not for me at all. I just can't agree with 90% of the things in here. I think this one is destined for the trash.



Women should not feel guilty if they are UNABLE to breastfeed, but they should feel guilty if they are UNWILLING to do so, and they should be intellectually honest enough to know the difference.
A proud Christian, Republican, Breastfeeding, Attachment parenting, Extended Rear Facing and Extended Harnessing, ANTI- CIO, Former fully vaxing, but now delayed and very selectively vaxing, mommy to my 3 beautiful girls and wife to my Marine!

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