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fighting with a 7 year old

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:15 PM
  • 7 Replies

Does anyone else have a 7 year old who needs to constantly get the last word in? I'm stressed to the max with my seven year old. he constantly wants to fight with me and it's really pushing us apart.

I took him snowboarding on the weekend and he was getting frustrated that there were people in his way, so i told him to take another route.. well he couldn't do that one - so he came down and screamed at me for telling him to go that way. We of course left .. but even as we were leaving he continued to yell at me.. he's so focused on getting the last word and being right that he talks himself into more trouble. He doesn't see that he's leaving because he was being rude to me.... he just keeps yelling at me about how hard snowboarding is and for some reason - that is my fault..

He's outside right now cleaning up garbage that the dog got into because he failed to close the gate after taking it out and there are diapers everywhere. He thinks I'm mean to him because it's cold, but I told him "make sure the gate is closed or you'll clean it up when the dog eats it".. but for some reason this is MY fault.. how do I get my child to see that there is a reaction to every action he takes?? Am I just expecting too much from him? are all 7 year olds like this? I'm so frustrated because it seems like all we do is fight. I'm tired of fightnig with him. I can't explain anything because every time I do I get a million "but" and "this is why I hate this" and he just needs to be right and have the last word. ALWAYS. I feel like crying when dealing with him.

 

Am I alone? anyone else deal with this??

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:15 PM
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Replies (1-7):
MissiHampt
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:22 PM

Simple.  Don't argue with him.  You're the parent and he is the child.  When he tries to backtalk, send him to his room and tell him he can come out when he's ready to speak to you properly.  Refuse to engage him and he'll have to give it up, one can't argue back with someone who refused to take part in it.

GaMom64
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:38 PM

I agree that you need to stop arguing with him.  You are the mom.  It will only get worse if you let it go, and it will only get better if you stop it.  Set boundaries and stay consistant.  Always tell him that you love him and let him know what you expect out of him.  Also, let him know what you will not tolerate. If he tries to argue, don't even try talking it over with him, just tell him how it is going to be and stick to it. My son still tries to mouth off at me from time to time, but I tell him to stop and if he keeps on there will be consequences.  He knows there will, and he usually stops.  There are times when I think he says things just to get me to argue with him, but I try not to get baited.  It is so frustrating sometimes and after he leaves the room, I may tear up, or get mad, or whatever, but I try to stay strong when he is around.  I hope this helps.   

Moody1418
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:24 PM

I bought a book called  1 2 3 Magic Its a great book by Thomas W Phelan It really helped me to understand that arguing back is a huge waste of time .. might want to check it out  . or the book by Dr Kevin Leman Have a new kid by Friday is Fantastic. Say it once turn your back and walk away is his motto... both books are great ! GoodLuck ,I have a 9 year old that also does these things.

deann66
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:35 PM


Quoting Moody1418:

I bought a book called  1 2 3 Magic Its a great book by Thomas W Phelan It really helped me to understand that arguing back is a huge waste of time .. might want to check it out  . or the book by Dr Kevin Leman Have a new kid by Friday is Fantastic. Say it once turn your back and walk away is his motto... both books are great ! GoodLuck ,I have a 9 year old that also does these things.


I agree. I love 123 magic. I have not read the new kid one but I did read his "How to make your kid mind without losing yours" and its awesome.

ChazznRoccosmom
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:16 PM

Phew! It must be an age thing! I try not to argue back, to fuel the fire. I know it's hard, but just refuse to respond. My goes to time out instead of his room though. 

        Mom                  Dad              Chazz (7y)         Rocco (4y)         Joey (16m)

Breastfeeding, baby wearing, natural birthing, anti-abortion, SAHM who loves her tattoos, piercings, and hair dye

pmweb
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 9:34 AM

You are not alone! I have 2 daughters 8 and 9 yrs old! They are the same way! It is very frustrating! It seems as if the more i do for them , the more they want from me! And yes, if anything goes wrong it's always my fault! It has nothing to do with the fact that they don't do as thy're told! I just try to be patient and keep telling myself that some day they'll outgrow this! Then it will be a different prob. ! At least we know we're not alone! Keep your chin up! I know i'm gonna try to!

bren_darlene
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 9:40 AM

 Totally agree. You are the parent. Kind of like when parents  talk about problems with their teens and such there is always some people that say "pick your battles". I say "What battles?"  I am the parent and there is no battle. What I say goes. Most all of my children are grown and gone now and we never had any problems with any of them back talking or misbehaving. They were such a blessing.  Children can be blessings or a headache. The choice is up to us.

Quoting MissiHampt:

Simple.  Don't argue with him.  You're the parent and he is the child.  When he tries to backtalk, send him to his room and tell him he can come out when he's ready to speak to you properly.  Refuse to engage him and he'll have to give it up, one can't argue back with someone who refused to take part in it.


 I am a stay at home,  home educating, non-vaxingmother to many children :)  And a very happy wife to a wonderful man!!!

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