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Its Monday, so much stuff to do and I am so stressed, I need someone to cheer me up please?

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:11 PM
  • 3 Replies

Since just after new years I have been so stressed and stretched so far between family members I am just about to break.  Just after Thanksgiving my father decided he was done drinking, after over 35 years he decided he was done. He just stopped cold turkey, not good if you have been drinking that much for that long.  Once he stopped that everything else kinda gave out too.  He didnt even want to get out of his chair and sat there for two weeks eating nothing drinking nothing, peeing himself and just getting worse.  He decided finally he was going to get up, stood up his bad ankle gave out probably from being so weak and he fell on his knees which also gave out.  He laid on the floor for five days.  He may have had a stroke or heart attack durring that time he was on the floor. He was found on the floor on January 4th in his own feces and completely dilusional, most likely a combination of the DTs, sever renal failure, dehydration, and a "cardiac incident". He was comepletely out of it until last week. We were prepared for him to die, but he made a wonderfull recovery. 
In between that time my brother has been not eating and havig a hard time with his girlfriend and my mom was begging me to get him away from her so he would stop getting so sick, he was losing weight so quickly, his ulcers were bleeding excessively and he was crying every time he talked to my mom, but he wouldnt leave his gf because "he loved her".  She is a bad bad person and treats my brother like crap which my brother has never let any woman do.  And my mom is the kind of person who if you dont listen and agree with her she wont shut up about it and keeps going on and on and on.  I finally talked him into coming out  to my house, I live pretty far from all of them and being away from that town would be good for him in every way.  He is considering moving in with us, which is hard because we have a small house but we cant get anything bigger cause we cant afford it and we cant count on him really to pay anything because he is the kind of person who if he gets a bug up his butt he will just up and leave for the hell of it.  So not the kind of person to rely on for rent or anything like that.
Recently my neice has been super sick puking every single day missing two weeks of school already and still sick and the doctors say its just the flu, my mom is now also hurting really bad and they arent sure why.  She also may have broken her nose today because my little sister refuses to wake up with her daughter so my mom who is in tons of pain and not feeling well is taking care of herself and my niece and its just not good.
I have to make phone calls daily to try and get my dad approved for nursing home or assisted living care because he cant even get out of bed on his own, not to mention the bed sores that may take a month or more to heal up. He fell down yesterday because he wanted toget out of bed and the nurse didnt come in there fast enough.  The doctors and his social worker say he is medically ready to be discharged if he has a place to go, and his social worker said that if he had a house to go home to with a bed and a room and locks he could go to that and she would send people at least once a day for physical therapy, but that would mean he is alone for the rest fo the 20hours with no one to watch him or help him.   His medical insurance say he is not disabled enough to be covered in a nursing or assisted living facility, even though he cant even walk without help and needs extensive physical therapy, and is not old enough to be considered retired(he is 56 he needs to be 62 or older).  It can take at least 45 days to be approved for DSHS medical.
On top of all of this I am still needing to be a wife and mother and I live so far away that I cant really do too much but make phone calls.  Its raining and gross outside so the kids are stuck inside and going stir crazyand running out of things to do, no school today for my son because of records day.  All I want to do is go into my room and cry, of course I cant because I have so much to do and cant just leave everyone and tell them to do it themselves. 
I just need someone to cheer me up somehow, I dont know maybe just need to talk to someone or soemthing I dont know.  I just know that I need a break and at the moment cant take a real break because I am waiting for three people to call me back about my dad, and waiting for my mom to call me back about her dr appointment so I know that there isnt anything seriously going on with her, dont think I could deal with that one.
If nothing else thank you all for at least reading this.

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:11 PM
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Replies (1-3):
laurm247
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:18 PM

Have you tried any In Home Aide places for your dad? I am an in home aide (soon to be CNA) and I have worked with different kinds of clients. Some clients are able to do most things on their own but need a little extra help (like cleaning, errands, etc). I've also helped people that are in your father's situation. You could get someone to come in for a certain amount of hours from 4 to 24 hrs. They would have a nurse come out and evaluate your dad and she/he would help you get the help you need. Once he's evaluated they would set up your dad with either an In Home Aide or a CNA. That way someone can help him with his meals, meds, baths, chores, errands, etc.

Deenie72
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:19 PM

Have faith....I know it may sound cliche'...something everyone says at times like these, but it works.  I have just managed to get out of bed and stop weeping after about 2 weeks, mind you, I have 4 kids, two of which just became adults, 2 grandbabies with 1 more on the way! EVERYONE lives with me...the 1 on the way is only 15! My marriage is a mess and financially....well I was laid off a little over 6 months ago. Can't tell you the probs within my extended fam....does hearing all that cheer you up? I am not being at all sarcastic...it's just that sometimes hearing someone else's issues takes your mind off your own. But truthfully, sometimes faith is all we have...all that keeps us sane. I am new to this site and joined out of desperation as there is soooo much more going on that I need some type of outlet. My prayers are with you!

JSVDP
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:25 PM

I am looking into home aides and things like that, but unless he is approved for some kind of medical quickly we will ahve to find him a place by himself.  He cannot afford the amount that most of the living facilities are asking for monthly or daily.  And thank you deenie, I do have faith its just hard to deal with sometimes.  Thats one of the things I worry about my mom, she takes care of everyone and her health is not good, she should be taken care of not the other way around.  I am starting to think that I will be in her place when I am her age the way I try to take care of everyone.  The only way to help her is if I leave my husband and move to her town and well I cant do that.  At least I know I am not the only one dealing with stress stress stress....

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