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AH please help- 9 1/2 month old CIO? I feel SOOO awful right now

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:40 PM
  • 16 Replies

I am having an awful time getting my almost 10 month old to go to sleep on his own. I have always put him to sleep, but the past few weeks he has been waking up alot at night and will not go to sleep on his own (used to sleep good through the night) which lead me to believe I should stop putting him to sleep and get him to sleep on his own.

How many of you have done this? Just letting him cry makes me feel so bad and he has such a temper it sounds like he is in pain but he stops immediately when i come by the crib and waits for me to pick him up.

 

I am so lost on this whole CIO method, but nothing else works. He falls asleep after his late bottle and then when he is laid in the crib, he has been automatically been waking up. a month ago he would have never even noticed. I dont get it.

 

His piercing mad cries are too much to handle but what else can i do??? I have tried to bend over the crib so he can feel that i am there but he just stays awake. i dont think i can do much else but should i let him cry for an hour? five minutes? What. and how long is this going to take for him to be ok not being with me every second! ???

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
aarensmommy
by Member on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:44 PM

i did CIO (kinda) with my son at like 6 months...he did the exact same thing..i couldnt just let him cry for hours first off i couldnt deal and second he didnt end up falling asleep anyways...what i did was layed him down comforted him and left for 5 mins (left him cry for 5 mins) then went in and comforted him..i didnt pick him up just talked to rubbed his back till he stopped crying. then i gave him 10mins of crying then comfort ect i just kept adding 5 mins each time i left..i took about a wk but he is a great sleeper now has been since i did it!! good luck!

jnjj040407
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:47 PM


Quoting aarensmommy:

i did CIO (kinda) with my son at like 6 months...he did the exact same thing..i couldnt just let him cry for hours first off i couldnt deal and second he didnt end up falling asleep anyways...what i did was layed him down comforted him and left for 5 mins (left him cry for 5 mins) then went in and comforted him..i didnt pick him up just talked to rubbed his back till he stopped crying. then i gave him 10mins of crying then comfort ect i just kept adding 5 mins each time i left..i took about a wk but he is a great sleeper now has been since i did it!! good luck!


thats the same thing i did with my son when he was around 9 months and like she said he has been a great sleeper ever since

honeybee429
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:52 PM

you CAN do this. i don't have much advice because every baby is different. Do it like an experiment. only change one thing at a time. if he usually gets a bottle, give him that then let him CIO. or if you usually  rub his belly to go to sleep, then do that and leave a minute sooner than normal for a week and so on. Basically don't go from playing and having a routine to fall asleep to playing and throwing him in the crib because he won't understand why you changed so much at once.

if he cries longer than 15 or 20 minutes and you KNOW he is okay, full belly, clean diaper, then you can go pick him up, and sway in one spot near the bed and do NOT talk or joke with him, because its a learned method that he thinks you will come in the louder and longer he cries. Just sway til he starts to cuddle down or calm down, then start the routine over (putting him in the bed or whatever your routine is). This will help him get use to the routine (because you may do it 4 or 5 times lol) and by the end he will be so sleepy that he stays asleep.

however, for middle of the night wake ups, try to peek and check to make sure he is okay, but only if he is screaming crying... you should know the difference in a fake cry and a real one. If he is just "talking" or fake crying, leave him alone and hopefully he will go back to sleep.

 

i take it back... i did have advice. lol. GOOD LUCK you CAN do this BE STRONG.

averysmom0923
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 2:15 PM

Hang in there. I letting my baby CIO. It makes him tired and falls asleep soon after a big cry.

xChasingxAmyx
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 2:27 PM


Quoting honeybee429:

you CAN do this. i don't have much advice because every baby is different. Do it like an experiment. only change one thing at a time. if he usually gets a bottle, give him that then let him CIO. or if you usually  rub his belly to go to sleep, then do that and leave a minute sooner than normal for a week and so on. Basically don't go from playing and having a routine to fall asleep to playing and throwing him in the crib because he won't understand why you changed so much at once.

if he cries longer than 15 or 20 minutes and you KNOW he is okay, full belly, clean diaper, then you can go pick him up, and sway in one spot near the bed and do NOT talk or joke with him, because its a learned method that he thinks you will come in the louder and longer he cries. Just sway til he starts to cuddle down or calm down, then start the routine over (putting him in the bed or whatever your routine is). This will help him get use to the routine (because you may do it 4 or 5 times lol) and by the end he will be so sleepy that he stays asleep.

however, for middle of the night wake ups, try to peek and check to make sure he is okay, but only if he is screaming crying... you should know the difference in a fake cry and a real one. If he is just "talking" or fake crying, leave him alone and hopefully he will go back to sleep.

 

i take it back... i did have advice. lol. GOOD LUCK you CAN do this BE STRONG.


CurvyMommato1
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 6:58 PM

Thanks, I will keep trying! and i will ignore the things I read about it being abuse bc I just dont see HOW it is abuse when I KNOW my baby is stubborn and not only that, he will shriek/cry loudly during the day to get my attention which is exactly what he does when he doesnt want to sleep in his crib. . I am going to lose my mind though if I do not get some sleep and time where i can study while he plays by himself for a few.

MiLF_419
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 7:44 PM

I had a similar problem! My son just turned 9 months on the 19th. He has 2 naps a day & bedtime. I would have to rock, bounce, and pat him to sleep every single time. Sometimes he'd wake up when I put him down. It could take up to 45 mins to get him to sleep. I tried letting him cry it out a few times couldn't take it. But recently (the 6th) I just felt right about it. I put him in bed and my boyfriend & I stayed in the room on the floor. He cried for about an hour maybe a lil more then went to sleep. The next night it was 30 mins. Sometimes it's 10. Sometimes 30-40. But since the 6th I just let him go to bed himself. The cry isn't bad anymore. He just tests us. So now after a bed time story I shut off the light tell him good night put him down and walk out. I keep a baby monitor on sometimes just so I can time his cries and know when he falls asleep. I don't have anything in the bed with him. After he's asleep I go in and put a blanket. Just incase when he's in a frenzy he might some how suffocate. He usually wakes up in the night cries for about 10-30 mins but will go back to sleep. There are rare occassions where I'll still nurse. For his naps though, I still put him to sleep. I know this isn't much help but might give you an idea of what else is going on out here lol. I'm sure you will just know when it's okay for him to cry the same way  I did. I baby him so much & could never take him crying. I would rock him forever. But that night we started, I just knew & you will too :]

kryysteez
by Member on Jan. 27, 2010 at 4:00 PM

Did he get vaccinated in the past month?? Vaccines can drastic effect on a childs behavior.  They can also make them suffer from pain also.  If he did have any in the past month then he is having a bad reaction and should not receive any more if you want him to get better.  I suggest you see a HOMEOPATHIC doctor.  They know how to heal, not medicate you to DEATH

mama_l
by on Jan. 27, 2010 at 4:04 PM

It sounds like either teething or an ear infection, if this is not his normal sleeping habit.  During teething or and an ear infection CIO is NOT to be used.  Have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution?  There are so many "sleep training" methods out there why use the one shrouded in controversy as well as all the studies showing that CIO can be damaging to the infant?

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2010 at 4:05 PM

I disagree strongly with cio. We never used it with my children. I'm not going to get into that debate right now though lol...

I encourage you to look into The No Cry Sleep Solution. You can read most of the book for free on the internet.

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