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i need some advice please

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:48 AM
  • 4 Replies

hi i am a single, work full time, mother of two under the age of 5. I am having trouble with both children but mostly with my four year old Gabriel. He is starting not to listen and even talk back. I have tried taking away toys, time out, even smacking his mouth. but yet he still continues to misbehave. what should i do????

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:48 AM
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Replies (1-4):
squidsmommy
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:18 AM

This is very vague. He could be acting out for a number of reasons. It could be age, he could be mad that he doesn't get to spend enough time with you, it could be lack of consistency. Find out if something is bothering him. My daughter is 3 1/2 and talks back at times. I know with her it's age and all I do is stay calm and nice. I tell her she needs to talk nice (I have discovered if I get worked up it makes the situation escalate). If she doesn't talk nice, she goes right to the corner. I tell her that I'm talking nice, she needs to also. That will usually change her tone because I'm not losing my temper. I live by the idea that if you lose your temper, you lost the battle and the child won. If you keep that in mind, hitting and yelling generally stops and the energy of the whole house shifts. It takes 2 to argue and if you don't participate and stay nice, things deescilate really quick. Works for us, anyway.

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:29 AM

praise him.  you can see the punishment route is not working.constant praise for everything he does. he will turn around quickly kids love praise.

Crissy2424
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:38 AM

Not sure, but all I can say is to just keep your cool and maybe use time out if being physical doesn't work.

emarin77
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:32 AM

Have you told him clearly you do not treat your mother that way?  You have to be continues with disapline too, not just sometimes when he misbehaves.  Time out should be the only disapline, no physical hurt.  You are physically hurting him then and he will learn that is ok to smack other people when they hurt you. Just continue with the timeouts and talking clearly with him what he did wrong.  Also make sure he understands what he did wrong and how you feel when he does not listen or talks back when you give him a time out.  Ask him to tell you what he did wrong after the time out.  When he states what he did wrong, give him a kiss and tell him you love him.

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