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Would you do this? I just needed someone to talk to.

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:36 AM
  • 25 Replies

Okay, please read this and have an open mind. I am 22 years old. My soon-to-be husband is 24 years old. We have one daughter who is 11 1/2 months, turning one on March 7th. I go to New England College full time and will graduate May 2011. Garrett works 4 days a week and gets paid $500 bi-weekly. I will be looking for a job to start in June. We have been looking around for a place to live. So far no luck. We would move (if local) in June. We are going to be married July 11th, 2010. He is going bankrupt either the end of this month or beginning of next. So his bad credit will turn into no credit. I have very good credit as far as I know. I will have a 6 month grace period as soon as I graduate. After that I have to pay back all the loans I have built up from going to college. I plan on consolidating them and paying them back probably for the next 10 years.

My bottom line/problem is we live at my fathers house who travels a lot so we are basically playing house until we can find our own place. We pay rent and my father covers the water, electric and taxes. He recently told us he is having a very hard time keeping the place up (paying all the rest of the bills). So we are going to do him a favor and move out so he can sell the place. He is in some debt himself and we need to move out and live on our own. We are young and have a young child together. Since Garrett's credit sucks and I need to get a job we are finding it hard to move out. Everything is too expensive for us. With a job it may be a little easier. If we chop down a couple bills that could help too. Even still it seems impossible to find a place. I have thought about a roomate, but with our little girl I don't think I would feel comfortable finding someone to share the rent.

My mom has been dying to move down to SC where my stepfather has family. She would get a place big enough for all of us (4 bedrooms) and we would split the rent. Everything else she would cover as long as we paid our half of the rent. My mother drives me nuts and is very strong-headed. However, I would be willing to do anything to ease the burdon for my father and kill more time to have Garrett build his credit so we can get our own place.

I am wondering what you would do in my situation. Any and all advice would be wonderful. No negative feedback and if there looks like cause to bash, don't. I just needed someone to listen and get this off my chest. Thanks mommas!

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by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Crissy2424
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:45 AM

at the beach

bethy114
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:48 AM

it seems like your mom wants to help,and remember it wont be forever.in this times everyone is having a hard time getting by so ur not alone.my husband just recently started working nights to get more money in.you are lucky your mom wants to help and i know moms can be a pain but you never know it might bring you closer,if she is willing to help i would say jump on it,and if you do decide to move to s.c. its not so bad the weather is beautfuil in the spring and summer,i wouldnt live in other place.Good luck and do alot of praying in your time of need it does help.

lilyrose73
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:50 AM

 Just so you know, bankruptcy does not take you from bad credit to no credit... it takes you from bad credit to even worse credit.  Since you have good credit, I would suggest trying to get a place on your own.  Also, I know it's tempting to take your mom up on her offer, but it will probably be really hard to get along and might make life more difficult.  Good luck!

tkarstens
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:50 AM

YOu need to make sure that it would be a place that after you move out that she is not going to lose her house because she can not pay her bills with out you.

dosthepost
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:52 AM

If you think you can live with your mother, I'd do that. You can trust her. 

But keep in mind, if his credit sucks, and you get married, you're also marrying his credit. It sucks, but it's true. Besides, credit with little or no income isn't really worth much.

Crissy2424
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:16 AM
So basically we are screwed. We are determined to finally get married. But it seems we can't move, we can't get married, we can't do nothing.
dosthepost
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:23 AM

Oh you can get married. I wouldn't let bad credit stop be from being married to my DH... but it's going to be HARD to get anything b/c he has bad credit, and he's the one with the job, KWIM? If you use your credit, you have to present your income... since you have none the credit is kind of useless. BUT it can be done. You just have to look at all of your options.

Quoting Crissy2424:

So basically we are screwed. We are determined to finally get married. But it seems we can't move, we can't get married, we can't do nothing.


pregnant

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Mama2Claire09
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:24 AM

I'd take your mom up on her offer. Not only will it  help you guys out while going through some money issues, your daughter will have the benefit of having one of her grandparents around 24/7. your mom might even be willing to give you guys a hand with cheap babysitting so you guys can work extra jobs to pay off debt/save for a wedding.

You could always move your wedding date//just have a marriage at city hall etc. and have a reception at a later date once money issues arent a factor. I know a few people who have done this...they just wore the wedding dress for the reception, and none of the guests thought it was odd. They were all very understanding!

Crissy2424
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:27 AM

I just feel like I don't have any options. It sucks trying to go out on your own at this age. I feel like the only option if we move in a year would be to jump on the bandwagon with my mom. How else could we move? I just don't see it happening. Hubby said he will look around Manchester to see if there is a place for us to live there. If there is we would just move this coming summer and then I would be working and I would finish my last semester that is from sept to december.

Crissy2424
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:30 AM

We can afford our wedding. We are just gonna have a small ceremony and reception all at the town hall. To rent it is $60. Then people are bringing food. The JP is his aunt so basically it will be a very nice/sweet wedding that wont cost anything really. My mom and step dad are both on SS so they are home 24/7 anyway and she would watch Shauna while we are working.

Quoting Mama2Claire09:

I'd take your mom up on her offer. Not only will it  help you guys out while going through some money issues, your daughter will have the benefit of having one of her grandparents around 24/7. your mom might even be willing to give you guys a hand with cheap babysitting so you guys can work extra jobs to pay off debt/save for a wedding.

You could always move your wedding date//just have a marriage at city hall etc. and have a reception at a later date once money issues arent a factor. I know a few people who have done this...they just wore the wedding dress for the reception, and none of the guests thought it was odd. They were all very understanding!


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