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2 questions about some stuff

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:31 PM
  • 4 Replies

Ok, I have 2 questions.......One has to do with Faith and how you ladies feel about it. The other is to do with baby sitters and some problems I have been having. 

Faith, I do have faith, but with moving, my family only goes to one church. I don't like the church...((Sadly to say, I also like sex a lot. lol, but they look down and riducule (sp) me being a single mom and not being married)) I want to try different ones, and don't have a car to do so. So I don't have Kaile go to church bc I don't like it...So what I am asking is, is this wrong to not go and not let her go til I can start looking for one for me? I would like to go, but I just need the "right" one for me.

So question or problem number 2......While I work, Kaile is at home with my mom, her boyfriend, my 2 sisters and my brother. So she is usually watched. But am I over reacting....when I was changing her diaper this morning I seen 2 new bruises on her legs. When I asked my sisters seperatly, they always say ohh common you know how clumsy she is. My mom says the same thing. Then my mom starts complaining about how much she screams when they are watching her. My sisters do not listen to what I want done with her. My mom is the same way. Should i wait til I move out or should I do it now and pull money out of where I don't have it and start looking for a day care or a different baby sitter? I am working on potty training her and they use diapers bc they sit on the couch all day. They don't like running her to the bathroom all the time. I don't like it but it needs to be done. I am at a lose of what to do. She is unhappy during the days when I leave now....And when i am off if one of the girls come near her she screams like someone is trying to kill her. What do I do??

***The day that changed my life, 3/12/08.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger***

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:31 PM
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Replies (1-4):
deann66
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:40 PM

If your dd is screaming when sitters come near her I would say its a pretty big red flag something is not right. I would not only find a new sitter, I would move asap

shoegirl01
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:42 PM

Question #1, no its not wrong!  You need to find something that works for you and your family.  As long as you raise her spiritual and along with your beliefs, you shouldn't be railroaded into a church you don't feel comfortable with.   I believe you can feel the higher power in every day things, looking at the beach, enjoying your family, you don't need a church to dictate your spirituality, especially if youre not comfortable with its teachings..  IMHO

Question #2) It sucks to not be comfortable with your family watching your daughter, but she is your number one priority.  Now, as a mother of a 2 1/2 year old, my son has come home with bruises, and also gotten them at home, a black eye at home by falling into something, and on his legs because he jumps off things before we can stop him...  But, I know first hand that he is safe here lol!  So, I guess what I'm saying is kids are kids and they get hurt, but if you feel uncomfortable then get a daycare provider who you do feel comfortable with.

mommy2cristian
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:42 PM

 I can't really answer to the church thing because I don't go.  If you can't ignore the people & just go there to worship then maybe you should wait until you can find one.  Church isn't about being friendly with others but about worship.  And you don't have to go to church to worship.

As for your daughter I would look into daycare or another babysitter.  Check with your City to see if they have a Child Development program where you can apply or low cost childcare.  I'd hold off on the potty training since it's not something they want to do & could be getting frustrated with her in the process hence the bruising.  I would definitely formulate a plan & put it in motion ASAP because that bruising sounds like they're being rough with her & can escalate into abuse. 

bellaamore
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:49 PM


Quoting KailesMommy:

Ok, I have 2 questions.......One has to do with Faith and how you ladies feel about it. The other is to do with baby sitters and some problems I have been having. 

Faith, I do have faith, but with moving, my family only goes to one church. I don't like the church...((Sadly to say, I also like sex a lot. lol, but they look down and riducule (sp) me being a single mom and not being married)) I want to try different ones, and don't have a car to do so. So I don't have Kaile go to church bc I don't like it...So what I am asking is, is this wrong to not go and not let her go til I can start looking for one for me? I would like to go, but I just need the "right" one for me.

You should know that church is not God, first of all.  You can have a relationship with Him and not be part of a congregation.  Many people, like myself, find that it actually drags them further away, as the interpretation many offer can seem muddled and follow it is just not an option.  Sex is seen as bad in some circles, but not all.  As long as what youdo is in love, I feel that you are GLORIFYING God, as this is excatly what he asks us to do- everything in love.  What better way than to be vulnerable to someone else's needs? It can be a very spiritual experience if you open your heart to the miracle that the act itself is, and God's hand in it.  I hope you find peace, hun.  It is not wrong to not go, as long as you still feel God's love inside yourself and live a life you think he would be proud of. :)


So question or problem number 2......While I work, Kaile is at home with my mom, her boyfriend, my 2 sisters and my brother. So she is usually watched. But am I over reacting....when I was changing her diaper this morning I seen 2 new bruises on her legs. When I asked my sisters seperatly, they always say ohh common you know how clumsy she is. My mom says the same thing. Then my mom starts complaining about how much she screams when they are watching her. My sisters do not listen to what I want done with her. My mom is the same way. Should i wait til I move out or should I do it now and pull money out of where I don't have it and start looking for a day care or a different baby sitter? I am working on potty training her and they use diapers bc they sit on the couch all day. They don't like running her to the bathroom all the time. I don't like it but it needs to be done. I am at a lose of what to do. She is unhappy during the days when I leave now....And when i am off if one of the girls come near her she screams like someone is trying to kill her. What do I do??

It sounds like they do not have your child's best interest at heart, and your valid concerns are not being met as they should.  You are her parent.  If you feel that her needs are not being met as they should be, please follow your heart and remove her from that situation.  If you do not have the money to put her in a good daycare, there are government assistance programs that could help, and they even offer help to babysitters if you would not lik eher in daycare.  Call your local Office of Family Support and they give you the information you need if you decide to go  this route.

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