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Young girl changes and lots of attitude

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:20 PM
  • 26 Replies

I have a 10 year old daughter and a 7 year old daughter. My 10 year old, Kaylee, has been going through her "changes" for over a year now. And of course, I've expected her attitude to change, but I feel like it's out of control now. I realize her hormones are changing rapidly, and she's confused. But the way she treats her family has become very rude and disrespectful. ]

When her attitude towards her grandmother started to change, I knew we were in trouble. Her grandmother is loud and very stern but loving, and the girls have always respected that. But now even she gets the talkign back, attitude and constant arguing.

We talk with her every day about how she talks to us and how she treats us, but it doesn't seem to change anything. Her facial expressions, her tone of voice, her reactions, etc etc, it's just horrible. I don't know what to do to get through to her anymore.

I know some of the kids she hangs out with are influencing her. We have a family a couple houses down that are totally disrespectful to everyone in their house. The kids yell and scream at their parents, parents do it back and they do nothing to correct their kids on what they do wrong.

I've been starting to hold Kaylee and Alyssa (my 7 year old) back from hanging out with these kids. We've had issues with the boys saying inappropriate things to them and amongst the other kids in the neighborhood. But I don't want to take away their friends.

I guess what I'm looking for here is a little help on getting my daughter to understand how she's acting and treating her family, and how it hurts. She's constantly on her sister, trying to be her boss, and picking fights and yelling at her. Each time I hear it, I correct her and ask if it's necessary, how would she feel if it was reversed and her sister was doing it to her, it's not her place to tell her sister what to do etc etc.

I've even though of having her walk around with a hand held mirror while she's home so she can see her facial expressions when she's talking to us. So she realizes how she looks when she's talking to us in a rude way.

I also came up with an idea yesterday about giving each of the girls two journals, one for them to write in about their day and how they felt, I would be reading it and writing back to them in it, the other journal is to write to their sister with, to tell each other how they feel and what bothered them or made them feel good for the day between each other, so they could communicate together. I'm trying to find a way to get the two girls to be more loving and caring towards each other and their family. I'm tempted to take away all friend privileges until we can resolve where all the attitude and fighting is coming from. I know it's "normal" for kids to act this way at times, but it's every day, all day. They dont' seem to get along for more than 5 minutes and they both have so much attitude built up. Any suggestions would help!


by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:22 PM

OMG, IDK!! My 3 yo makes me crazy sometimes!! the journal is a great idea though!

unicornangel
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:25 PM


Quoting AM-BRAT:

OMG, IDK!! My 3 yo makes me crazy sometimes!! the journal is a great idea though!

Yeah it's crazy. Never in my life would I expect to be dealing with a 16 year old attitude at the age of 10!!

Monica208
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:25 PM

wish i could give you some great advice.. but im clueless... so heres a bump

momoftwins240
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:55 PM

Hate to tell you this but it only gets worse.  She will probably act this way with you until she reaches about 18 years old, then when they are faced with the very real idea of having to get out on their own, they get scared and mommy and daddy suddenly become very smart people again. 

unicornangel
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 11:26 PM


Quoting momoftwins240:

Hate to tell you this but it only gets worse.  She will probably act this way with you until she reaches about 18 years old, then when they are faced with the very real idea of having to get out on their own, they get scared and mommy and daddy suddenly become very smart people again. 

I figured as much, but I was at least hoping to tone it done a little! Unbelievable how much time changes. I remember when I was younger, my attitude didn't start that early! I don' think!

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Apr. 1, 2010 at 11:53 PM

BUMP

mamakenzi
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 11:55 PM

My 2 year old does.

Quoting AM-BRAT:

OMG, IDK!! My 3 yo makes me crazy sometimes!! the journal is a great idea though!


Kenzie

Check out my blog: http://macklanddiares.blogspot.com

Join us on Advice for Moms -- Group Mod

mamakenzi
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 11:56 PM


Quoting unicornangel:


Quoting momoftwins240:

Hate to tell you this but it only gets worse.  She will probably act this way with you until she reaches about 18 years old, then when they are faced with the very real idea of having to get out on their own, they get scared and mommy and daddy suddenly become very smart people again. 

I figured as much, but I was at least hoping to tone it done a little! Unbelievable how much time changes. I remember when I was younger, my attitude didn't start that early! I don' think!

Unfortunately kids hit puberty earlier now.  I was like this my mom. 

Kenzie

Check out my blog: http://macklanddiares.blogspot.com

Join us on Advice for Moms -- Group Mod

kissyfur29
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 11:59 PM

Mine is 11 and so I am going through this same thing. Some days are just bad here. I would love to just smack her in the mouth and so I leave the room and calm down and remind myself she is still yet a child whom I love and I go deal with it. I wish I knew what to tell you but I don't and I would also be interested what to do also.

ginal966
by on Apr. 2, 2010 at 8:00 AM

  I have four daughters ages 9-22.  It broke my heart the day the second oldest went to school and came home and didn't want to play with her  younger sister.  The were best friend until then.  It took them until the older of the two was in 8th grade and the yonger one in 6th to get along very well.   It is so hard but you are doing the right things.   Sisters and family are the most important bow downrelationships in a persons life.  Keep getting them together for activities, try to find something they like that is the same.   The younger sister is looking up to the older one and wants to be "just like her"   maybe that is worth mentioning to the older one.  You are doing great, maybe there is an activity you three can do together, mother daughter?  I love the journal idea.  Let me know how that works.

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