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Foster Parenting

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:48 AM
  • 7 Replies

Are there any mammas out there that do it? What are you feelings/thoughts/input/opinions on it? It has been on my mind and I want to get more info on becoming a foster parent but also want to hear from foster parents!

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Lilypie

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:48 AM
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onefootcutiepie
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:49 AM

 We fostered when I was growing up. What kinds of things are you wanting to know?

LibbiBeth
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:53 AM

anything really, don't know too much about it and some coworkers and i were talking about it at work bc she said she used to foster and was talking about my leaving work to open a home daycare and she said "you should foster" and now its stuck in my head and i was to learn all about it. lol i want to get as much info so that my husband and i can sit down and talk and deceide if this is something we want to do.

Quoting onefootcutiepie:

 We fostered when I was growing up. What kinds of things are you wanting to know?


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billssweety
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:57 AM

We love doing it, we actually went into to adopt and were successful, we adopted out twins 1 year after taking custody of them, have had custody of them for just over 2 years now.  Our bedrooms are full, but we can foster children under 2 and have them in our bedroom with us, we are in the process of relicensing to do that.  If it was up to me we would have a 10 bedroom house and 25 kids, 21 foster kids, LOL.....but hubs isn't quite up for that......one thing I would suggest is foster year a minimum of 2 years younger than your youngest child.....this was also confirm by someone who has done foster care for over 30 years and adopted 7 kids.  Good luck, good foster parents are ALWAYS needed!!!

onefootcutiepie
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:01 AM

 Well, it's a big responsibility. Kids who think nobody cares will TEST you. In any way they can think of. I think foster parents need to be willing to say "I will keep you and I will care for you, even if you make it hard". A lot of foster parents ship the kids out right when it gets rough. The problem with that is that it always gets rough. The kids always get rough. Your kids have to be prepared for this as well. My sister and I were well prepared. My parents raised us very well, so we weren't worried about sharing our stuff and our space. But your kids have to be prepared to share their hearts with kids who are hurting and that requires you to be willing to be honest with your kids about the crappy world we live in where some people's mommies beat the shit out of them. Because some kids will come in covered in bruises and scared to death. Sometimes my sister and I would need to welcome these kids in because they were afraid of the adults. We understood and we loved it because that's who we were, but you have to be HONEST with yourself about who your kids are. If they are going to be jealous, be careful about the cases you accept. My sister and I learned at a very young age that the world was so much bigger than what we lived in and I'm grateful every single day for that and wouldn't trade it for anything. Some people would rather see a bit more sheltering. Also, it's just plain heartbreaking to see hurting children. And it can be infuriating. They test you. They don't listen, because well, you're not their mother. It takes patience and endurance of a special kind, but I think it's totally worth it. We'll be starting it next year with our family. :)

LibbiBeth
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:01 AM

My kids are almost three and the other 8 months......lol thanks for the advice!!!

Quoting billssweety:

We love doing it, we actually went into to adopt and were successful, we adopted out twins 1 year after taking custody of them, have had custody of them for just over 2 years now.  Our bedrooms are full, but we can foster children under 2 and have them in our bedroom with us, we are in the process of relicensing to do that.  If it was up to me we would have a 10 bedroom house and 25 kids, 21 foster kids, LOL.....but hubs isn't quite up for that......one thing I would suggest is foster year a minimum of 2 years younger than your youngest child.....this was also confirm by someone who has done foster care for over 30 years and adopted 7 kids.  Good luck, good foster parents are ALWAYS needed!!!


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toomanypoodles
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:33 AM

 We adopted the ones we fostered....but it would be very tough for me to raise a child for a while, love it and then have to give it back.  I don't know....I guess if you go into it knowing that it's a temporary thing and you can keep yourself from becoming attached. 

I think though when my kids are grown I will again one day take in a child....I'd just hope it could be long term. 

SexyTeacher
by Gold Member on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:37 AM

My DD was a foster child for about a year before we adopted her. But she left the hospital and came to us. Before her we had 3 foster children that were sent back to the bio parents. I don't know what happened to them but I hope they are okay. When we split we no longer were able to foster children-thank God that our adoption of DD was final! I could do it now but DH it not really on board for that and I am not sure I want to do it now. It is a joy and a beautiful thing to do. The first foster child we had took his first steps with us and said his first words and we had it all on tape. So it is really hard when a child leaves your home and I mean REALLY hard! I cried for 2 days when our first foster child left! But the experience and knowing you helped a child in need makes it worth it.

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