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Single mom starts dating...HELP

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:03 PM
  • 7 Replies

My name is Hillary.  I am 25 and a single mom to my DS Weston who will be two this friday.  I have been single pretty much sense he was born.  I have recently started dating again.  I met an amazing guy... he is smart, motivated, educated, funny, and gorgeous... sounds too good to be true right...

He comes from a strict Lutheran family.  His parents spout the ideals of the traditional family.  Among many conversations I had asked him in passing how he felt about dating a girl with a child, to which he replied "not good, my parents always told me to start a family of my own, not one that was made for me..." 

He then went on to explain that his parents have a set frame of ideals and he has spent the last several years arguing some antiquated view that he grew up with. 

The conversation didn't go much further than this, but I am sure you can imagine my hesitation going forward.  There wasn't a set "no I wont date a girl with a child," but it was a clear "my parents will not approve of us being together..."

We talk often and cover a variety of topics, and I know he knows this is one I want to have again.  How do I approach the topic, what things do we talk about?  Are there any things off limits?

I have already told him that I think its best if he gets to know me, and if it works and he is interested then I will let him meet Weston.  I am very selective about who i bring into his life.  How long do you wait till you introduce your child to someone?

I am completely new at this so any advice would be appreciated.  


thank you

Hillary

 

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:03 PM
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Replies (1-7):
canthaveboys1
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:12 PM

 Honestly, if his family wont approve, I would just leave it alone. if he is seeking his families approval and they wont give it than it is a total waste of time, and efforts.

missrenee77
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:16 PM

Thats just it... I am not sure that he is seeking his family's approval... it seems that he wants to make his own choices and do what he feels is right for him not right for them. 

canthaveboys1
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:19 PM

 

Quoting missrenee77:

Thats just it... I am not sure that he is seeking his family's approval... it seems that he wants to make his own choices and do what he feels is right for him not right for them. 

 that would be ideal for him. I would just make sure before taking it any further. I personally would flat out ask him "Can you accept my child because we are a package deal?"

http://www.firstgiving.com/forpaige


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SunnyBaby
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:50 PM

When I was a single mother, I never let my son meet anyone I dated, up until my now husband and I got together. I dated and went out, but, it was nothing serious, and I knew that. IMO, until you are serious with a guy, and are talking about making a commitment, then the kids should stay out of it.

MY TACO BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!!!

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Apr. 19, 2010 at 2:43 PM


Quoting canthaveboys1:

 Honestly, if his family wont approve, I would just leave it alone. if he is seeking his families approval and they wont give it than it is a total waste of time, and efforts.


 

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Apr. 19, 2010 at 2:44 PM

*I* wouldn't bother with guy that had disapproving family regardless of if he agrees. If you eventually think you would have a family together, HIS family would be YOUR family, and they would never accept yourself or your children. Especially the one that's JUST yours. Even if he had the magic stick, I would seriously consider his family life. I wish I would've.

Hearts_n_Stars
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 2:58 PM

 

 if he is as great as you say, then i would continue to date him.. he is a man, not a boy. boys need mommy's approval. not men.. so what if his parents have issues.. who the hell do they expect him to bring home, the Virgin Mary??

 i would introduce him to my kid, when it starts to get serious.. you don't want to have him around your son, if its a casual dating thing.. it will confuse him..

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