• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

am i overreacting or.......

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:13 AM
  • 12 Replies

So here is the thing....my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years and we just had a son together.  I have a daughter from a previous relationship and so does he.  my son is a month old.  Well my bf and I were talking the other night and he had made a comment that he wanted to go and get a vasectomy done, I asked him why and he said that he didn't want me to get pregnant again any time soon, so I asked him what if we decided that we wanted another kid in a few years and all he said was that if that was what we decided that we could just have them inplant his sperm in me.  I really don't want him to do this and I told him that and I told him that part of the fun of having a child is making it.  and I told him that I was planning on getting on birth control and he said that he still doesn't like that because there is always a chance on me getting pregnant again and he just doesn't want another one.  And anytime that I try and do anything affectionate he just says that i am teasing him and I need to stop because he's just going to get sexually frustrated and we won't be able to do anything about it. 

I don't know...am I just being dumb in my not wanting him to get a vasectomy done and just get on birth control.

by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:13 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
bellaamore
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:18 AM

If he doesn't want a kid, he doesn't want a kid.. These are things you should have discussed LONG before having a child together.

I WILL tell you this much.  If he doesn't get it, and you DO get pregnant, the odds of it working between you are ZILCH, as he TOLD you he didn't want another and he will ikely resent you and possibly even the child.

LissaJ83
by on May. 2, 2010 at 4:06 AM

you can still get pregnant after your so has a vasectomy. i have a friend that is proof!

mommyflyes
by on May. 2, 2010 at 4:36 AM

he doesn't want a kid right now. my hubby wanted a vascetomy after our second. i actually set the appt. but he never went. i am on birth control.

maybe you can take him to your next gyn appt. and talk to the doc about getting the most efficient b.c. for you.

that may make him feel secure.

do not get pregnant again till his ready and you have discussed it.

 

proudmommyof203
by on May. 2, 2010 at 4:37 AM

He didn't want me to get pregnant with the one that we have together. 

bellaamore
by on May. 2, 2010 at 4:50 AM

Exactly my guess.  Let him get his operation done, girl.

Quoting proudmommyof203:

He didn't want me to get pregnant with the one that we have together. 


iamcafemom83
by Mariah on May. 2, 2010 at 8:27 AM

i had this talk with my dh a few weeks ago fter my son was born. he's ready to go and get snipped and i was like, hold on, lets talk blah blah. he said the same thing, but i was like what is the point of getting a vasectomy & we change our minds later and you need to get it reversed?

i dont think its an over reaction at all. its a decision that you both need to make....maybe you could get him to research it, because ( i have not myself) im not sure what the chances are once its been done.

mama_l
by on May. 2, 2010 at 8:46 AM

You are not married and he does not want any more kids so he has every right in the world to make sure that does not happen and because you are not married he certainly is not obligated to include you in his decision.  It would be nice of him to include you in the decision but he seems to know how you feel and still wishes to get the vasectomy.  Bottom line is it is his pee pee so it is his decision.

callalily417
by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:05 AM

If he didn't to have THIS baby, what makes you think he'll want another one in a couple of years? I think there is nothing you can do to change his mind no matter how much you two talk about it. Do you think you two would have made it as a couple if you didn't have this baby or are you still together because of this baby? And do you think if you keep pushing him to not have the vasectomy that you two will last? 

Personally, I wouldn't want my SO to get a vasectomy either but there doesn't seem to be anything you can do. Good luck!

baby

AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2010 at 9:08 AM

As a GF your vote doesn't really count.He already has 2 kids to support.He doesnt want  anymore.Good for him for knowing 2 kids out of wedlock is enough for him.

Bmat
by Barb on May. 2, 2010 at 10:27 AM

 Children are human beings and will grow up to be come adults.  I mention this because one of your objections is the fun of making them. You can still have plenty of sex- the fun part- after a vasectomy, and if he has sperm frozen- I'm not sure if he'll continue to make sperm after a vasectomy after a while- but if he thinks he'll ever want another child to support and raise, then he needs to check with his doctor. Accidents do happen on birth control,  so unless you are carefully on  birth control and he uses a condom carefully every time, then it could still happen. As was mentioned above,  if another surprise baby happens, it may push him away.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)