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my 3 year old is out of control!!!!!!

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:25 PM
  • 6 Replies

My 3 year old boy is in my opinion out of control. When he doesent get his way or get something he wants he starts screaming and throws himself on the floor and sometimes he even bangs his head against the floor out of anger or attention one.I usually just stay firm and tell him no you are not getting this or that or whatever the case is and then i ignore his fits but i need to get some sort of control on him because i also have a 10 mth old boy and i sure dont want him picking up my 3 year olds bad habits.i honestly dont spooil him i am very firm and i disipline him and im not playing the blame game but his daddy and his mimi(his great grandmother whom we live with right now)spoil him but anyways i just need some advice

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by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:25 PM
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Replies (1-6):
trilliana
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:33 PM

I wish I could help, but I'm going through the same thing with my 2 year old. Here's a bump though!

go_romanovs
by on May. 3, 2010 at 12:30 AM

anticipate the melt downs with timely snacks and naps. Redirect and distract before a melt down happens. Simpathise after - yes, honey, you are so upset because you wanted this toy! and then distract and redirect again.

Don't say 'no'. Say, 'yes, we can do this right after I finish cutting this salad for dinner' or 'What a great toy, sweetie, may be we can put it on the Santa list this year!'. 'That's not safe, how about some play dough instead?'

I hope it helps!

Rhiannon1988
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2010 at 12:36 AM

well this is probably the right thing to do but i get frustrated too easily so i could never be so patient with my daughter.. she was like that before i started firmly putting her in time out everytime she misbehaved.. put him in timeout. let him throw a fit there. if your ten month old sees him getting in trouble for acting that way he'll learn not to do it, and your older son will learn that he'll go there everytime he behaves that way.

i dunno if you already do timeout or not but it's very effective for my daughter cause she hates being forced to sit.. it was really hard at first i had to hold her there quite a few times, and threaten to spank almost everytime, even did spank her a few times. but she's better behaved nowadays.. still not the greatest but better than she used to be.. i still have to chase her to time out, but i don't have to hold her there anymore. good luck.

Quoting go_romanovs:

anticipate the melt downs with timely snacks and naps. Redirect and distract before a melt down happens. Simpathise after - yes, honey, you are so upset because you wanted this toy! and then distract and redirect again.

Don't say 'no'. Say, 'yes, we can do this right after I finish cutting this salad for dinner' or 'What a great toy, sweetie, may be we can put it on the Santa list this year!'. 'That's not safe, how about some play dough instead?'

I hope it helps!


treysmama06
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2010 at 1:09 AM

 Im in the middle of these two ... My son is the same way . Be firm with him when you let him know he cant have something then his dad and grandma has to be the same way. He cant have it bottom line. If you dont put ur foot down to them 2 nothing is going to work . If dad says no then let it be no, dont give in . A good thing to do is say just like go_ro said . I started time outs when my son was 2 and they really work. Let him know when he is screaming and falling out in the floor that you cannot understand him and until he gets up you will not be listing .

Quoting Rhiannon1988:

well this is probably the right thing to do but i get frustrated too easily so i could never be so patient with my daughter.. she was like that before i started firmly putting her in time out everytime she misbehaved.. put him in timeout. let him throw a fit there. if your ten month old sees him getting in trouble for acting that way he'll learn not to do it, and your older son will learn that he'll go there everytime he behaves that way.

i dunno if you already do timeout or not but it's very effective for my daughter cause she hates being forced to sit.. it was really hard at first i had to hold her there quite a few times, and threaten to spank almost everytime, even did spank her a few times. but she's better behaved nowadays.. still not the greatest but better than she used to be.. i still have to chase her to time out, but i don't have to hold her there anymore. good luck.

Quoting go_romanovs:

anticipate the melt downs with timely snacks and naps. Redirect and distract before a melt down happens. Simpathise after - yes, honey, you are so upset because you wanted this toy! and then distract and redirect again.

Don't say 'no'. Say, 'yes, we can do this right after I finish cutting this salad for dinner' or 'What a great toy, sweetie, may be we can put it on the Santa list this year!'. 'That's not safe, how about some play dough instead?'

I hope it helps!

 

 

mamakenzi
by on May. 3, 2010 at 1:23 AM

I personally spank.  When my 2.5 year old starts throwing a fit, first I attempt to redirect before the actual fit happens, if she starts the fit then I send her to her bed to calm down, if she chooses not to stay on her bed or the fit gets worse then she gets a spanking.  If we are out in public I take her to the bathroom and try to talk her down if that doesn't work then she gets a spanking.  I also set up a lot of expectations before we go into places or if we need to do something.  For example; Mommy needs to make dinner now and I can't play with you, you can watch a movie or play but if you act naughty then you will need to go to bed.  We are going to go into the store, you are not allowed to run, scream, or misbehave in the store.  If you misbehave in the store you will get a spanking and we will leave.  It works with her.  I recommend with whatever form of discipline you choose be consistent, but remember a lot of it fits are his age.

bren_darlene
by on May. 3, 2010 at 9:45 AM

I have raised a lot of kids and they have all been such a blessing. You must be firm in what you expect of him. In this case, good behavior. And when you tell them something you must be consistant in your discipline for the misbehavior.  I applaud you for wanting to get a handle on this. So many parents just don't want to put forth the energy to do it. It IS work at first then you will have years of happiness :)  I highly recommend this book. I use to buy several copies and give it away. I do not agree with every little thing but it is very good.


http://www.amazon.com/Train-Child-Michael-Debi-Pearl/dp/B0013RR87M/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272894303&sr=8-4

 I am a stay at home,  home educating, non-vaxingmother to many children :)  And a very happy wife to a wonderful man!!!

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