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It's all about money!

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 5:06 AM
  • 19 Replies
Soooo DH is going overseas in less than 30 days and he filled out his last will and life insurance.
On his will he's leaving half of everything to the two girls, divided
equally, when they turn 21 they get whatever. The other half goes to his dad, but if his dad dies, it goes to me.
Ok so when he told me this I was like ok, cool. So he tells his dad what's going on and his dad tells one of his sisters and his mom. Well, they are pissed! Sister wants to know why I don't get anything, being his wife and all, and moms mad cuz he left it to dad instead of her.
So he tells sister that he doesn't want me OR his mom to have to worry about anything if he dies. No paperwork, no decisions, nothing! His dad and him already discussed how the money will be used, he just doesn't Want an added stress to us.
So me, I'm like... Should I be mad he's not leaving everything to me? I mean, when he told me what was going to who, I didn't think anything of it. I'm not with him for money so I didn't cate notbeing named a
benificiary.
Idk yall... Should that REALLY be something to worry about? My daughters covered and takin care of and that's all that matters to me....
by on May. 24, 2010 at 5:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Kboyd1012
by on May. 24, 2010 at 5:11 AM

I would be very pissed off. That would make me feel like I don't matter. Your the mother of his kids. When he is gone, they look to you for everything not him. Your taking of the kids. Why wouldn't he want you to be taken care if something was to happen to him?

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HeartsLove
by on May. 24, 2010 at 5:21 AM

If it didn't strike you as odd at first, then why does it now? He said ya'll would be taken care of. I think it all depends on your relationship with him. If he's normally the type to make sure you're taken care of rather than making you take care of everything, then this isn't too out of character for him, is it? You should care about getting some money, tho, because you'll still have a home and kids to take care of, and you'll be going out to get a job and need to pay daycare and whatnot also. Sit down with him and have him explain his plans to you, so you'll understand what would happen should something happen. Then decide if you agree with why he did what he did or not.



magenl
by on May. 24, 2010 at 5:26 AM
Yea, I take care of all the finances now. It's just they way my sil and mil were acting, I felt it was all about money and the made me feel like I should be mad at him! He has a seperate life insurance plan for soley
me, even though it's not much,so I know I'll be taken care of, but they overlook that!!!!


Quoting HeartsLove:

If it didn't strike you as odd at first, then why does it now? He said ya'll would be taken care of. I think it all depends on your relationship with him. If he's normally the type to make sure you're taken care of rather than making you take care of everything, then this isn't too out of character for him, is it? You should care about getting some money, tho, because you'll still have a home and kids to take care of, and you'll be going out to get a job and need to pay daycare and whatnot also. Sit down with him and have him explain his plans to you, so you'll understand what would happen should something happen. Then decide if you agree with why he did what he did or not.


HeartsLove
by on May. 24, 2010 at 5:29 AM

Well it sounds like they care about your best interest, that's good. But they're his family and family can sometimes be very hard on each other. If you're happy with it and trust him, then just put their comments out of your mind. They shouldn't be in the middle of it anyway. Just hug and thank them for caring, but tell them you've got it under control. You should never jump into an emotion because someone else thinks you should, this is your husband and you've got to communicate with him and feel your own feelings. That kind of stuff can ruin a marriage, if you react this way or that because someone told you you should



GOBryan
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2010 at 6:08 AM

I was an Insurance Agent for many years and realistically, it should be going to you. You will have expenses if he passes. Not only funeral arrangements but living expenses for you and the kids. How would you manage that? His salary wouldn't be there anymore, which is the purpose of life insurance. Life insurance is to compensate loss of income for a few years.

 

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2010 at 7:01 AM

My husband's life insurance will be going to his father... I am the contingent beneficiary. I am glad, to be honest. His father receives the money to pay off all debts (mortgage, medical if necessary) and funeral costs, then gives the rest of the money goes to me... yes, it is written this way in my husband's will. My husband doesn't want me to have to worry about these things if he passes. He says that I will have my hands full enough. I trust my FIL wholeheartedly to hold up his end and it is my wish that if something happens to my husband, me and the children will move to be closer to my FIL so that we can care for him (he is elderly).

I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. I am submissive and proud, my husband is head of my home. I am a proud, traditional Roman Catholic, as is my husband... Yes we are teaching our children that The Church is the only Church.               Aimee


 

TemptMagick7
by on May. 24, 2010 at 7:20 AM

If you are not getting any of it, and half is being put away for your girls for when they are older, and the his father gets the other half...what are you going to do about bills and such? Are you 100% sure his dad will help you out financially?

My DH is leaving soon too. He has his mom and me each getting half.

Brianav
by on May. 24, 2010 at 8:20 AM
Your his wife! You deserve every penny if he dies...not his daddy.
lovinmommy0f3
by on May. 24, 2010 at 8:29 AM

I've read all these replie and agree to some extent with all of them.  Each side has a valid point.  So, all I can dd is to follow your heart, discuss it with your hubby in depth and come to a conculsion that makes you comfortable.

okhsmom
by on May. 24, 2010 at 8:45 AM

Once your FIL dies, he can do anything he pleases with the money.  Leave it to you? He probably will, but if he doesn't already have a plan in place and he dies a week after your hubby dies (sorry, this is so grisly to talk about) where does FILs estate go?  To his wife?  A charity?  Whoever is designated to inherit, that is who gets the money.  If no one is designated, it all goes through probate.  You'll likely never get the money. 

Also, if you don't get any money upon hubby's death, who pays the funeral? 

Why is he leaving it to his dad anyway?  You should get 100% and upon YOUR death, the money be equally divided between your children as designated by a trust, not a will, as a trust has more tax protection. 

Finally, if hubby wants to leave his dad money, he should take out a term life insurance policy on himself, and have his dad as the beneficiary.  His dad could actually take out the policy, pay it, then collect the money if his son dies prematurely.

In short, I think you and your hubby need to get with your financial advisor, your insurance rep and an estate attorney.  Meeting with all three will get you what you are looking for.  Wfhat you'll want is to set up the insurance money in a way that you never touch the principal, but live off the interest.  Let the principal grow and your interest will too.  Have that in a trust that pours over to your dd's.  That protects the money from going to any future husband you may have. 

 

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