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I live my life in fear.....

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:13 PM
  • 34 Replies

So yesterday dh took dd and i to this bike path where you can job or ride was cool. DD and him ran the first mile(i walked) and then i walked back the second mile with just dd, while dh went off getting his jog issue is, the whole time i was walking back i would get slight anxiety and dial 91 with my finger on the number one as individuals walked by. At one point i seen a man sitting down along the path, looking scary as hell, drinking a beer, and i stopped in my tracks, called dh, and made him run back over to us so we could finish our walk. With all the kidnappings, rapes and murders while people are walking alone scares the piss out of me. I told dh i wont go there again, unless he is willing to walk/jog with us.

am i the only one that feels like that? i seen plenty of people yesterday jogging by themselves with headphones on not even giving a second thought(atleast thats what it seemed). Im only 5'0 and not strong at all, what if someone tried to kidnap my baby? ugh girls, i think im losing it.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:13 PM
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by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:15 PM

Get yourself some mace and take it with you.Take some self defense lessons.

I know the feeling, and those feelings are that much stronger when it's just me and DD. Most people in this world aren't out to get you, but it's hard to feel safe when you're protecting a little one as well.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:19 PM

 I worry about that, but not as bad as you do. I have mace on my keys, and I have had self defense lessons.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:23 PM

I carry a gun.

by Barb on May. 24, 2010 at 1:28 PM

Get some pepper spray or whatever is legal in your area and hold it in your hand while you are out.  I agree about the self defense classes to get you some confidence.  Even read some self defense precautions. I used to have some in a document, I'll check as soon as I post this.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:33 PM

Honestly I don't get scared unless I think they may have a gun on them. Other than that I can hold my own but that is from training and lots of practice. Also I carry a knife that I strap on my pants or ankle. Carry something with you.  Also, rather than a self defense class look into an actual martial arts class. Ive done both and self defense classes don't really hold up. With martial arts the first thing you learn is to block an attack. No matter how strong or weak you are blocks are effective.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:40 PM

i know the feeling, just remember if anyone tries anything, scratch the crap out of them, use your keys, your shoes pull his ears, if you are crazier than them they will want to leave you alone, oh and yell" fire" cause for some reason people are more likely to help.

by Barb on May. 24, 2010 at 1:47 PM

I got this in an email a while back. It was from a self-defense class. (I am sorry about the formatting. I tried to fix it.)

 [The instructor] He and the others in this group interviewed a bunch of rapists and date rapists in prison on what they look for and here's some interesting facts:


                      The #1 thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.

                      They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with                      long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.


                      The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. The #1 outfit they look for is overalls because many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing and on overalls the straps can be easily                     cut.


                      They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily                      overpowered. The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in                 the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.


                       The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots.


                      Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.


                      The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly  move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting                      caught. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year                      sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.


                      If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a  minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will                      be time-consuming.


                      These men said they will not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar  objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent    because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So,                      the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.


                       Several defense mechanisms he taught us are:


                      * If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time                      is it, or make general small talk, I can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a                     bad winter. Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a lineup, you lose appeal as a target.


                      * If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman                      alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they                      are looking for an EASY target.


                      If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.


                      * If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by         outsmarting them. If they grab your wrist, pull your wrist back so your hand is in                      waving position (palm facing forward) and twist it toward yourself and pull your arm                      away. It is hard to hold onto wrist bones that are moving in that way. They stumble                      toward you and you stumble back, so you can use that momentum to bring the                      same out and backhand them with your knuckles in the forehead, nose or teeth.


                      * If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh. HARD. One                      woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy                      who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and                      tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it. It hurts.


                      * After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's balls (sorry to be graphic) it is extremely painful.You might think that you'll piss the guy off and make him want to hurt you more,  but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will  not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.


                      * When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure and I ended up on my knees  and both knuckles cracked audibly.


                      Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your                    surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior,                     don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but                      you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:51 PM

 I have that fear sometimes...I think a lot of it stems from watching too much law and order. I'm sure somewhere online you can find some information about the crime rates in that area, maybe get yourself some mase, teach your kids what to do in an emergency. if you felt safer wth your hubby, just go as a family everytime you go there, maybe start up/join a mommy & me walking/jogging meetup at that path...

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:52 PM

I have a thing of mace in my pocket everywhere I go. I have considered buying a tazer, but I dont have the money yet, they r a bit spendy from what I hear. But mace makes me feel a little better, and if u have the money and if u dont want a gun, (but that is a good idea to get one I have considered a gun in the past), but if u have the $ I would buy a tazer. The cell is a great thing to have on u too in case u need to dial 911 fast.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:53 PM

And keys make the best weapons in the world, btw! With a key u could grip it tight if someone approaches and if they try to grab u aim for the eyes with the key!

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