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What should we do about my brother?

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:04 AM
  • 6 Replies

My brother (Ace) is 35 years old. Has a problem with drinking, and has had a problem since a teenager. His father was a serious alcoholic, and I think he personally is following into his foot step. Well to give a back ground, my brother had met a woman 7 years ago. This was his first true love. They had a child together a year later, and he was a wonderful father. He was working, came home did all for her, basically the perfect man you would want, and he would just drink on weekends with friends. A year later they had another child, and again, two years later another one. He had enough with the kids, and didn't want anymore, and told her this. Well she got pregnant again, and they agreed to place the child up for adoption, only to later find out, she ripped the papers up. And then all this fighting between them happen. He got into this "depression" mode, and never came out. She left him, has the kids in her custody, but he is now going from house to house, not working, and not giving a damn. My other brother (Mike) called me tonight informing me that his mouth wash and wind shield wipe fluid is missing. He questioned my brother, and he denied, only to smell it on his breathe. Very nasty. My brother (mike) and his gf wanted to call an ambulance, but when they turned around my other brother(Ace) left. We just don't know what to do anymore. He has been in rehab plenty of times, but they will only allow him for so long because he is on state insurance. He has a warrant for his arrest for failing to appear at a court hearing for harassing his ex (the mom of his 4 kids), and it seems jail does him will for a while then they release him on good behavior, only to later see he is back in the same position. We don't know what to do!!!?


Any suggestions? PLEASE?

He lives in Delaware. Originally in Kent County, but right now temporary in New castle. He goes to jail in sussex!
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:04 AM
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Replies (1-6):
Bonnie
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:10 AM

BUMP!

babydear1980
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:15 AM

this situation sounds like the book "The Innocent Man" by john grisham. it was a totally awsome and eye opening book. it sounds like he needs to be kept in major counseling daily, and be put onto some type of mood stabilizer. and it may come to the hard part of actually calling the authorities on him and turning him in, a hard thing to do but maybe the best thing for him. good luck with him and stay strong.

elizabeth_anne8
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:20 AM

My brother said if he doesnt turn him self in by tomorrow that he would call them on him. Its just crazy that he got out of rehab a month ago.... 14 days was all they could keep him because the insurance wouldnt cover no more, but yet they want people like him to get help. How? Its impossible..... 

Quoting babydear1980:

this situation sounds like the book "The Innocent Man" by john grisham. it was a totally awsome and eye opening book. it sounds like he needs to be kept in major counseling daily, and be put onto some type of mood stabilizer. and it may come to the hard part of actually calling the authorities on him and turning him in, a hard thing to do but maybe the best thing for him. good luck with him and stay strong.


squidsmommy
by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:04 AM

If he doesn't want help, there's nothing you can do to help him. He needs to not be enabled by his family, but beyond that, it's in his  hands. Hate to say that there's nothing you can do, but that's how it is. Set boundaries with him and stick to them.

canthaveboys1
by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:06 AM

 He has to want help. If he doesnt want help than its pointless to try.

emarin77
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2010 at 10:32 AM

Unless he is hurting himself or another you really cannot do anything.  He needs to realise he needs help for the long run, specifically coping skills in not depending on alchol to solve his problems.  Once an addict always will.

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