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He's not a true father...

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:31 AM
  • 11 Replies

My husband has been my best friend for around 5 or 6 years now. And I love him dearly. But lately he has changed. He has become the biggest jerk I have ever seen. For example when my gorgeous son was born he didn't even want to hold him. And an hour afterwards he was playing on the computer. I have seen numerous messages where him and his ex's are talking in a manner that is not appropriate while your married. And when I walk outside while he has my son I have heard him yelling at him, excuse my language "but telling him to shut the F up." I have asked his family for help but they say it's he needs vitamins or he's adjusting, then try and say it's my fault for being bitchy or not letting him sleep. HE SLEEPS OVER 12 HOURS A DAY! I am expecting again and I would hate to take my children from him but I don't know how to help him anymore, he won't talk to me.....and I have no one. My family is all gone and I moved out of state to be with him so I have no friends and he is the provider. Somebody HELP advice please???

by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MomLovey
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:37 AM

Wow. That is so..... Sad. Sweetie, I am very sorry this happened. As for advice, I am not sure of what to tell you to do. Maybe couples counseling would be an idea? Would he go? Can you move back in with your parents for a little while, seperate and see where things go, if he will not do the counseling thing? Sometimes people realize what they had only after they have lost it? And if he doesn't come back begging for you, then you know he wasn't worth it?

*Hugs* You shouldn't have to go through this especially pregnant.

cassieslove
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:40 AM

Thank you so much. I know it's kinda bull. But my mother had a brain anerism, and well my father is an unfit parent...I have left with his family for about a week once and he never tried to talk to me. He talked to the ex while I was gone and didn't even seem happy when his son and I came home. The only places I have to go are out of state, and its just friends I don't want to put my son through moving all the time either. And financially can't support us.

Quoting MomLovey:

Wow. That is so..... Sad. Sweetie, I am very sorry this happened. As for advice, I am not sure of what to tell you to do. Maybe couples counseling would be an idea? Would he go? Can you move back in with your parents for a little while, seperate and see where things go, if he will not do the counseling thing? Sometimes people realize what they had only after they have lost it? And if he doesn't come back begging for you, then you know he wasn't worth it?

*Hugs* You shouldn't have to go through this especially pregnant.


PandTsmomjuly
by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:51 AM

 Seems to me this is a big red flag to move on.

Quoting cassieslove:

Thank you so much. I know it's kinda bull. But my mother had a brain anerism, and well my father is an unfit parent...I have left with his family for about a week once and he never tried to talk to me. He talked to the ex while I was gone and didn't even seem happy when his son and I came home. The only places I have to go are out of state, and its just friends I don't want to put my son through moving all the time either. And financially can't support us.

Quoting MomLovey:

Wow. That is so..... Sad. Sweetie, I am very sorry this happened. As for advice, I am not sure of what to tell you to do. Maybe couples counseling would be an idea? Would he go? Can you move back in with your parents for a little while, seperate and see where things go, if he will not do the counseling thing? Sometimes people realize what they had only after they have lost it? And if he doesn't come back begging for you, then you know he wasn't worth it?

*Hugs* You shouldn't have to go through this especially pregnant.

 

 

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lovinmommy0f3
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:15 AM

I agree ith the above post...it sems to be time to move on.  I would sit down and try to have a long and meaningful discussion on where you stand and what you both want.  If you decide it's not going to ork and  you can't afford to support you or your children I would start working on saving here and there myabe try to get a part time job.  My friend and her husband decided the marriage wasn't  working but neither one could afford to move out so they lived together as room mates and nothing more.  Maybe that's an option?

squidsmommy
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:36 AM

I think I would probably leave and if he doesn't miss you and your babies, stay gone. File for child support, move in with family or friends and don't worry about him because it doesn't sound like he worries about you guys.

cassieslove
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:22 PM

Thank you all. But no it isnt practical to stay til then.

2MonstersxMommy
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:25 PM

It sounds like he is depressed, honestly. Especially the sleeping 12 hrs thing...I would set him up an appt to get checked out with your family physician and tell him you are worried about him and he needs to go to this appt.

God Bless

heybooboo
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:27 PM

I would suggest you contact a family law attorney, usually they will provide you with a free initial consultation or at least one that is pretty cheap IE $20.  Find out what your rights are, and then take your time to figure out what it is you want to do.

BabyDollMama
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:35 PM

 Wow....I'm sorry hun. I don't know what to say about him not talking to you or being a jerk, but I know when I gave birth to my DD, her dad didn't necessarily want to hold her either. He wanted everyone else to hold her first. And, get this...I was playing on our laptop a couple hours after giving birth. Haha. I love my DD to death. I'm just saying that that doesn't mean he doesn't care about your son. I guess all the advice I have is just try and stick it out if you really want it to work. Maybe he'll change again after your next child is born? You never know. I hope it gets better!!

cassieslove
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:36 PM

Well im going away 4 a month anyways and im more leaning towards leaving

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