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life insurance...is he giving me a crock of sh*t??? UPDATE

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:51 PM
  • 16 Replies

SO took out a life insurance policy on himself at work and listed our DD as the beneficiary.  I don't know much about it so i said "can't she not get that until she's 18? What if you die tomorrow, she's going to need things"  He said "i would have listed you but i'm not allowed since you're not my spouse or family" 

So then i talked to my mom and she said he had to list a trustee for her since she is a minor. She said they don't sit on the money until she's 18 that it has to go somewhere, whether a lawyer, a bank, HER MOTHER...  Now that i know this i know he has listed his mother (if he HAS to list a trustee) and that really upsets me.  It' NOTTTT about the money.  well it is but i'm not saying i want it for myself.  I'm just hurt that i'm not trusted enough to hold on to it for her or to use it for what i see best.  If she ever needs anything i'm going to have to go to his mother to ask permission for OUR daughter or she could decide she wants her to use it for a car but i want her to use it for school or she could just give it to her and let her blow it and I just see a huge fight IF (god forbid) anything did happen.

so my question is since she is a minor did he HAVE to list a trustee and if he does, does it have to be a family member or spouse?  Wouldn't I be able to be listed since i am the child's mother?

my mom's saying oyu can list whoever you damn please.


I'm not asking if i can be listed as beneficiary.  I'm OK with DD being listed.  Does there have to be a TRUSTEE to take control of the money until she is a legal adult.  Is he allowed to list anyone as the TRUSTEE?


I talked with him about it freaking out a little. lol he said "why would my mom be the trustee?" I said "well i'm not, so who is!"  Turns out the forms didn't ask for a trustee and just asked for a secondary if for some reason she had already passed by the time he passed.  In that case the money goes 50/50 between his mother and I.  He's bringing home a copy of the policy so i can see.  Apparently you have to write "mother as trustee for daughter'  But with actualy names??  Neither of us knew that...  Thanks for the help ladies. Hopefully it was truly ignorance and he's not just covering up!

by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SexyTeacher
by Gold Member on May. 26, 2010 at 7:53 PM

From what I know you can list anyone. I listed DH before we got married.

jennypinfargo
by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:54 PM

When I got my life insurance policy I had to list the kids as ben. because by law it will automatically go to the spouse UNLESS they sign saying otherwise...that way if you were both killed in a car wreck or something like that it would have someone to go to.  So I really don't think he is giving you a crock of sh*t :-)

jennypinfargo
by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:55 PM

You could list him because you were not married.

Quoting SexyTeacher:

From what I know you can list anyone. I listed DH before we got married.


Jessica071909
by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:56 PM

i know he could list me as benificiary, thats not what i want.  He's saying he couldn't list me as the trustee of her money since she is a minor.  Meaning right now that if he died the money would go to his mother to decide when and why my DD can get it.

Quoting jennypinfargo:

When I got my life insurance policy I had to list the kids as ben. because by law it will automatically go to the spouse UNLESS they sign saying otherwise...that way if you were both killed in a car wreck or something like that it would have someone to go to.  So I really don't think he is giving you a crock of sh*t :-)


jennypinfargo
by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:58 PM

Oh sorry I misunderstood...he is filling you with Sh*t!

Quoting Jessica071909:

i know he could list me as benificiary, thats not what i want.  He's saying he couldn't list me as the trustee of her money since she is a minor.  Meaning right now that if he died the money would go to his mother to decide when and why my DD can get it.

Quoting jennypinfargo:

When I got my life insurance policy I had to list the kids as ben. because by law it will automatically go to the spouse UNLESS they sign saying otherwise...that way if you were both killed in a car wreck or something like that it would have someone to go to.  So I really don't think he is giving you a crock of sh*t :-)

 


Mom2Kylie2708
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:00 PM
I think he can list whoever he wants...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jessica071909
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:00 PM

ugh great!  I thought so...  i'm just so hurt that he wouldnt trust me. WHY?  I'm not a crazy selfish money hungry person.  I save all of her money from gifts for her and he's seen that.  He's the one who can't save a penny....i feel like his mother it taken my position as his partner/mother...kwim?

Quoting jennypinfargo:

Oh sorry I misunderstood...he is filling you with Sh*t!

Quoting Jessica071909:

i know he could list me as benificiary, thats not what i want.  He's saying he couldn't list me as the trustee of her money since she is a minor.  Meaning right now that if he died the money would go to his mother to decide when and why my DD can get it.

Quoting jennypinfargo:

When I got my life insurance policy I had to list the kids as ben. because by law it will automatically go to the spouse UNLESS they sign saying otherwise...that way if you were both killed in a car wreck or something like that it would have someone to go to.  So I really don't think he is giving you a crock of sh*t :-)




heybooboo
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:03 PM

is he a Momma's Boy?

Jessica071909
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:42 PM

yep...daddy was alcoholic and really wasnt there much

Quoting heybooboo:

is he a Momma's Boy?


kerijeanbean
by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:08 PM

As far as I know you can list whomever you want as a beneficiary.  I don't think there are any actual laws about it having to be a family member.  It is possible the company has that rule, but then you have to ask what if the policy holder doesn't have any living family?  I would find out who the company is and call and ask general questions.  Tell them you are thinking of getting a policy and wondered if you have to name family member as the beneficiary.  I do believe you have to name an executor if you name a minor.  Most insurance companies won't give money to a minor.  It does sound a little screwy to me.

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