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Can an infant feel unsafe at night?

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:08 PM
  • 25 Replies

My baby will NOT sleep anymore on her own. She is almost 7 months. She goes to sleep fine but will wake up about 30 minutes later wailing and it goes on like that all night long. Its been like this for a week. I send daddy in and she just gets worse. The ONLY thing that gets her to calm down is mommy rocking her back to sleep which I put her back to bed and within an hour she is wailing again. I feel bad because daddy tries so hard and feels like a failure that he can't get her to calm down. I have tried orajel thinking its her teeth. I have tried a night light thinking its the dark. I have left the TV on thinking she is just lonely. I have put her in the pack and play in our room. Its only like this at night. I will try any suggestions because she is keeping me up all night long. And I will not let a child just "cry it out". I have sat beside her while she cries but it goes on for hours and I know that is not normal. Anyways, I will try suggestions! Thanks mama's!

by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
theycallmemom4
by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:32 PM

If it's a recent event, take her in and make sure she doesn't have an ear infection. Good luck.

britneyzencka
by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:46 PM

if she cry's when you put her down then try siting her matrices up by placing a tole under it matrices! Mite be hard for her to breath!

hdb
by on May. 26, 2010 at 11:01 PM
My youngest cried a lot at night and it was his tummy.

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kltaylor07
by on May. 26, 2010 at 11:06 PM

Are you putting her down before she is asleep or always rocking her to sleep?  If so, try putting her down to go to bed while she's awake.  Think about it, wouldn't you freak if you fell asleep in someones arms in the living room & woke up alone in a dark room 30 mins later?  Similar concept.  So the more she gets use to going to sleep on her own & in that environment, the better she may be able to adjust and not always need you to put her back to sleep.  It's also very natural (every human does it) to go through the various stages of sleep.  So if she's in the semi-awake/sleep stage & realizes something is up, she's going to wake FULLY up and need you to do whatever it is you do to get her back to sleep (the rocking).  

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AM-BRAT
by Amber on May. 26, 2010 at 11:51 PM

Poor mama and baby! It literally could be anything- ears, teething, lonely, gas... Sorry, are you nursing? I would just nurse...

Gailll
by on May. 27, 2010 at 11:50 AM

For all of human history human babies have breastfed and slept next to their mothers. They still do in most of the world. Baby's brains are hardwired to cry our with their pitiful cries when they find they are alone at night to alert their mother. It's how humans have survived. It would take many generations for baby's brains to change.

Yes, babies feel unsafe alone at night. Many adults feel unsafe alone at night! You might like to read more from the anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler, she has done research on the topic.

BaileynMe
by on May. 27, 2010 at 11:59 AM

Kids that young are just starting to REALLY become aware of their surroundings. They don't realize that when you leave the room, you don't disappear; you aren't gone for good. They don't have the ability yet to process that you're just around the corner or in a different room. It just doesn't occur to them yet.

Try establishing a set routine for bedtime, the longer it takes the better. Start with brushing her teeth/gums (you can get "baby" toothpaste that doesnt' have flouride in it along with a finger brush that's gentle on gums) then pajamas, then reading a few stories and listening to some calm, quiet music (we use jazz for DD during bedtime.) Letting her know in advance what's about to happen (bedtime) might help her adjust.

LogansMommy0328
by on May. 27, 2010 at 12:26 PM
My son was exactly like that for 2 nights I took him to the er cuz it was like 11 at night found out he had a double ear infection poor guy and he was about your little ones age to so maybe get her checked out if its not that I give my kids a little stuffed animal every night they sleep good at night and like having the teddys to hold on to
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Kimberly954
by on May. 27, 2010 at 2:32 PM

I put her down awake, she falls asleep fine. Then wakes up about 30 minutes later and its a struggle from that point. Even when she co-sleeps its the same way...although then she sleeps SLIGHTLY better and sleeps for a couple hour stretch in the middle of the night. I wouldnt THINK its an ear infection only because its not like that in the day, just at night. She is napping right now by herself. And we do have a night time routine of eatting, bath, jammies, bed.

Quoting kltaylor07:

Are you putting her down before she is asleep or always rocking her to sleep?  If so, try putting her down to go to bed while she's awake.  Think about it, wouldn't you freak if you fell asleep in someones arms in the living room & woke up alone in a dark room 30 mins later?  Similar concept.  So the more she gets use to going to sleep on her own & in that environment, the better she may be able to adjust and not always need you to put her back to sleep.  It's also very natural (every human does it) to go through the various stages of sleep.  So if she's in the semi-awake/sleep stage & realizes something is up, she's going to wake FULLY up and need you to do whatever it is you do to get her back to sleep (the rocking).  


Lovey1234
by on May. 27, 2010 at 2:35 PM

Absolutely! I agree so much with this! One of my favorite books was The Continuum Concept as well. If you like research, check out the Mary Ainsworth studies on attachment. 

Quoting Gailll:

For all of human history human babies have breastfed and slept next to their mothers. They still do in most of the world. Baby's brains are hardwired to cry our with their pitiful cries when they find they are alone at night to alert their mother. It's how humans have survived. It would take many generations for baby's brains to change.

Yes, babies feel unsafe alone at night. Many adults feel unsafe alone at night! You might like to read more from the anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler, she has done research on the topic.


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