Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

School Time? LOL (piog)

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:05 AM
  • 1 Replies

I got this in am email and just needed to share:

 "Some of these are just too cute."

Do you not just love little kids and how their minds work.  If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers.

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.


Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.


Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.


Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)

A: Keep it in the cow.


Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.


Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.


Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.


Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.


Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.



Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.



Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (ya gotta love this one...)

A: Nearby.



Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.



Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.



Kids Are Quick



TEACHER:  Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA:      Here it is.

TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered  America?

CLASS:        Maria.

____________________________________



TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:        You told me to do it without using tables.

__________ ________________________________



TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLEN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLEN:  !    Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

____________________________________________



TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:    H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________



TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:      Me!

__________________________________________



TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________



TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE:          I is..

TEACHER:  No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE:        All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. 

_________________________________



TEACHER:  George Washington not only chopped down his father's  cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:        Because George still had the axe in his hand. 

______________________________________



TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 



TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, sir.  It's the same dog.

___________________________________



TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:05 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-1):
mel600
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:13 AM

thats great

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)