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Not sure what to do..2 parts Updates in red

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:50 PM
  • 10 Replies

 Ok This is a 2 piece question/problem.

I am unsure of how to take my mother and my stepfather as of lately. I know my mom is under a lot of stress so I am taking her off behavior to that. So we will start with her. My mother wanted to babysit my daughter today (Spend some extra time with her and give my sister some time with her) and I wasn't crazy about it (they don't feed her like I do) but I knew she would be ok. Plus, I really did need the time off to get my house deep cleaned that I can't do with her under foot. Well today my mom was on my butt again about Gwen's walker (we had a tiff about it yesterday too). She is convinced that she gave me my walker back months ago and I have it in my garage and am just lieing to her about it. So I pointed out to her that I didn't have it and even if I did it wouldn't matter because EICD has told us not to put her in it because it is stunting her already behind development. Well my mom informs me that she thinks EICD is full of Sh*t, that she doesn't see a problem with it because it's better than carrying her around or tying her in her stroller. Well at my house, I don't carry her around all the time..She does stay by my side a lot but she isn't always in my arms unless we are out in public. Well on the way home I really got the thinking.. Is she tying my daughter in a stroller when I am not there? If she is, Why is she doing this? Gwen can crawl and yes she does get into things but don't all babies? How do I confront her with the fact that not only do  I NOT want my daughter to be put in a walker but the fact that she is tying her in her stroller so she doesn't have to chase her makes me hot. Now mind you I don't know for a fact she does this but for her to tell me it's better than tying her in a stroller makes me wonder where that is coming from. I don't even keep my stroller at my house (it stays at moms) so I know she doesn't think I do this. How do I deal with this situation??

Part 2. It is no secret I don't care for my stepfather. So I don't know if it's just that I hate him so that I am feeling so uneasy or should I be worried. My DD is the kind of person she will let almost anyone hold her (Not for a long long time but she will be content with almost anyone). Well recently my DD (who is 1) has decided she can't go to my stepfather. She can't even be around him. If he reaches for her she will clutch to me and cry. If you hand her to him (which my mom tries all the time) she will FLIP OUT! I asked my husband about this because this behavior only started recently. She use to sit in his lap and watch tv for hrs on end. I have since started making sure I was there (in the room right where I can see everything) anytime my mom hands her to him. I don't think he is hitting her.. I don't think he is "touching" her. What could have caused her to flip all of a sudden and almost show fear when it comes to my SF? I am super worried and want to think this is a phase but something about it makes me feel nervous. Am I just being silly? Is this a normal phase kids go through (where they all of a sudden won't go to someone they use to like being around)? Or Should I just avoid going over to my mom's on days he is around the house??

I really do believe that my mother tied DD into a stroller while she had her.. She got home this morning at 9:30am.. She has been flipping out all morning when she couldn't be right in my arms. I just put her in her highchair (For some lunch) and stepped into the kitchen to grab her plate. The second I closed the highchair she started to freak out.. Thrashing about in the highchair and screaming at the top of her lungs, pulling at her own hair. She has NEVER NEVER acted this way before when I have put her in it. She knows that highchair = meal/snack time. I am very discouraged/heated/confused by this. I really want to confront my mom and ask her WTF.

CafeMom TickersCafeMom Tickers
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Faeriebrat
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:57 PM

BUMP!

superexcitedmom
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:57 PM
Ok... wow!! with yoour mom... i would just ask her about the strapping her in a stroller... just say something like what did you mean when you said..... & just flat out tell her if she cant do things YOUR way she cant watch her!!!! flat!! just because she is your mother doesnt mean she can do that to you....
AND as for your SF thing... i would be worried if it were my dd.... i mean my dd doesnt like my mom really but she ha never liked her so its nothing new... & i do know that babies go through their seperaton anxiety around 1 & it could just be that... but i would avoid him being alone ith her if it were me if it just started....
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needhope
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:58 PM

If you have that Nervous feeling, its there for a reason, don't just dismiss it. It may be better to limit your contact with them for now, especially if your relationship with your Mom stranded, the kids can pick up on the stress. and lets face it  you don't know what is going on at there house when u are not there, maybe he is yelling or arguing with your Mom when the baby is there, you never now. I think u should see about counseling with your Mom, and objective party can do wonders, even free counseling through your church maybe.

Single mom  lesbians

We judge others by their worst actions, but ourselves by our best intentions

Tiger420
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:59 PM
As for the first part all I can do is offer encouragement. As for your SF it's not uncommon for kids to go through that. I've seen kids only want one person for like a week then all the sudden want nothing to do with that same person. I don't think it's anything I worry about.
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jesmoore27028
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:59 PM

I'm not sure what to tell you for the first part b/c I'm having a similar situation with my mom and my son in the walker. He isn't walking yet but he had some hip problems right after birth. As for the second part my son, who just turned one in April, is doing the same thing. He does it with my MIL and  my dad and he would go to them all the time. This started about a month before he turned one so it migh very well be a phase. I really hope it is b/c mt in laws baby sit for us quite a bit when I have to take one of the boys to the doctor and don't want to take the other.

MillieJ
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:07 PM

BUMP!

Faeriebrat
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:11 PM

 See I hear from people all the time about their kids going through weird phases when it comes to other people..So I don't know what is going on. I personally hate my SF.. I think he is a douche.. I am fairly sure he cheats on my mother..he has hit on me numerous times. I just generally don't like him. So I didn't know if my daughter was picking up on my distaste for him or if it's a phase..or if there is something going on that I might need to kick an @$$ about.

MarShy740
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:18 PM

If you are nervous there is usually something fishy US MAMAS ARE USUALLY RIGHT ABOUT THAT...LOL....But I would talk to ur mom about the whole stroller thing just be like where did that come from cause I dont even have the stroller and with ur stepdad maybe it is just a phase

Faeriebrat
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:32 PM

 

Quoting MarShy740:

If you are nervous there is usually something fishy US MAMAS ARE USUALLY RIGHT ABOUT THAT...LOL....But I would talk to ur mom about the whole stroller thing just be like where did that come from cause I dont even have the stroller and with ur stepdad maybe it is just a phase

 See that is what I think.. I'd like to think I am a averagely level headed person when it comes to judging others.. So I feel that if I am uneasy then maybe there is something to be uneasy about. I mean the first time it happened I wrote it off as being "cranky" but it happens more and more now. It just gets more and more out of control..so my momma senses won't leave me alone. I didn't know if she is just sensing how unliked he is by myself and my sister and feeding off that..or if it's something more

Faeriebrat
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:51 PM

BUMP!

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