Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

17 year old son has betrayed me and then moved in with his Dad

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 9:10 PM
  • 19 Replies
1 mom liked this

My 17 yo just graduated and immediately started getting wild on drugs and hanging out with wild friends. The moment I started cracking down on him he went to stay with his absent father (up until he turned 13) . His father agreed to set up a small family meeting to talk to my son. Then, 30 minutes before everyone was to arrive to meet, my eldest son advised me that his ???FATHER??? called him and said, "Try to get out of going to your Mom's because she's going to jump on both of you about some stuff!" He had also told my 17 yo the same. My eldest also said his Father said he wasn't coming and he was supposed to bring my 17 yo along with him. So, needless to say, we didn't get to have a family meeting with my 17 yo. He will be 18 in August but in the meantime I'm so scared something terrible is going to happen. If I go to pick my son up he will fight against me and the only way would be to have the police make him. With his mouth and attitude that won't be good. He needs a lot of prayer and I need a lot of strenght and peace of mind. If you have any advice or related story I would love to hear it.

In March, my 17 yo had an auto accident and it wound up being his fault. I person was airlifted and stayed in ICU for 2 days and in a regular hospital room. My son and the other driver were taken by ambulance to be checked out but everyone wound up being ok.

Prior to the accident, I had bought him the pickup and insurance, but we wre waiting for a replacment title before we could register it. SO, I specifically told him, " DO NOT DRIVE IT!!!" It was at his grandparents where he was working on it to fix some minor things. I had also told his grandparents, " The ONLY thing I ask is PLEASE DO NOT LET HIM DRIVE THE TRUCK!!!"

Well, low and behold, his grandpa sent him to the next town to get something and to drive his new little pickup. Unfortunately, this was the day he had the accident.

We went to court today over the hearing of who's fault it was and it turned out to be my sons fault and they also charged him for not having it registered. Well, with him being 17, I am liabled for ALL that he does, so our car insurance ins't going to cover it, due to it not being registered. Well you can imagine what the medical bills are, not to mention the other drivers totalled vehicle. So, they are going to garnish my wages and take my land and home. My son doesn't even care at all that he's cause me all this pain and trouble..Please pray about this!!!

by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 9:10 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 9:17 PM

the kid needs a good swift kick in the ass... i dont have teens of my own, but i was kinda` the same when i was 17, and most of the reasoning behind the stuff i did was pointless-- hes a supposed adult next year, treat him like it, and kick his ass to the curb and make him grow up... i wouldnt be praying and hoping for miracles, i'd be telling him to take a choice his family, or his bullshit games... lol god help my son when hes that age if he EVER pulled stunts like that... 

by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 9:22 PM

 I don't know mama..that must be REALLY tough! I hope things get better for you. Here's a bump.

by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 9:27 PM

Thank you for being so blunt :-) I told him today if he made one more smartass smerk or remark I was litterly going to act like a man and that he might get the best of me but he would definately walk away with a major limp...Trust my hun, I have said, swung, smacked, filed charges, dis-owned and stopped helping him...He won't be living with me unless he walks a straight line and gets his act together...I said the same thing when my boys were young, but its like hopping into the seat of a boeing 747 and being held at gunpoint and to to fly or die!! Teenagers or like 2 year olds with an education and good language skills!!

by Platinum Member on Jun. 24, 2010 at 9:44 PM

 Oh momma, I'm so sorry.  I don't even know what to say.  I will be praying for you.  If you ever want to talk feel free to pm me.  (((hugs)))

by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 9:46 PM

thank you jabs

by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 9:47 PM

thank you doll

by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 10:18 PM

 OMG! I dont know what to say! I am so sorry you are going through this. I would have reported the truck stolen.

by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 10:25 PM

Quoting canthaveboys1:

 OMG! I dont know what to say! I am so sorry you are going through this. I would have reported the truck stolen.


Check out my blog:

Join us on Advice for Moms -- Group Mod

by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2010 at 11:14 PM

Did you tell the court that he was not allowed to drive it? I would check up on it and see if you are liable, since he is 17, he may be seen as an adult. I would also tell them that he is not living with you. My DH went down a bad path and I had to sign a thing saying I would not let him drive the car just to get it back. Sometimes they need to learn it the hard way. I would call the clerks, or go down and talk to them....they may even allow you to see a on call judge to get your son as the responsible party. If you can arrange it, it will only cause him to take responsibility for his actions and get a job and pay it off. If he is on probation, then he may have to have a job anyways. Or even if you talk to the judge, they may order him to do community service to pay off the fines.

by on Jun. 24, 2010 at 11:32 PM

Personally, I would be forcing him to get a job and pay for the damages he has caused. That's total bull crap. Do you have a college savings for him? If you do, I would use it to save your house and then tell him to suck it up and pay for his own college. Sounds like to me he isn't mature enough at the moment to be attending college anyway. Wasted money. He will respect it more if he pays for it himself.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN