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How do I get him to understand?

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:28 AM
  • 52 Replies
I hve cysts on my ovaries that have really been bothering me lately, and during sex I hurt so bad it brings me to tears. DH doesn't care, and tells me to suck it up.... How the heck do I deal wih this? If I don't I've it to him he is a pissy mood for days and won't get me anything I need or want (I stay at home with the kids and go to school while he works) any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BaileynMe
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:30 AM

Have him come to a dr's appointment with you so the doctor can explain that you're not just faking it. It sounds like your DH thinks you're just trying to get out of sex or just whining; sometimes having a "professional" talk to people helps in those cases. 

Have you talked to your dr about the cysts? If they're that painful perhaps they could prescribe you some pill-shaped relief. 

jillbailey26
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:31 AM

Tell him you're going to hold on to his balls the whole time you're having sex and when you hurt, he'll hurt.  Then you can tell him to suck it up :)

Seriously, he should not be treating you this way.  You should be able to get the things you want and need without something like this being held over your head.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19


mama_girl07
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:31 AM

Kick him in the balls and while he's wallowing in pain tell him thats how it feels when you have sex.  Ok jsut kidding I dont have any helpful ideas hopefully someone else will.

rockinmomto2
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:31 AM

 Your husband sounds like a douche. I'd tell him to suck it up, that sex is painful for you, and you're not going to do it again until you're healed. If he has a problem with that, tell him to talk to his right hand. LOL. Seriously though, no one should ever force you to have sex when it's painful. Maybe you should punch him in the balls then immediately tell him you want to have sex. I'm sorry that I don't have better advice.

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:38 AM


Quoting jillbailey26:

Tell him you're going to hold on to his balls the whole time you're having sex and when you hurt, he'll hurt.  Then you can tell him to suck it up :)

Seriously, he should not be treating you this way.  You should be able to get the things you want and need without something like this being held over your head.

GREAT Advice Jill

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

lind.shep
by Lindsey on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:55 AM
I was prescribed darvocet for the pain, I'm just afraid of prescription pain medications, I'm not sure why, so I keep them to a minimum. It's gotten so much worse lately, and I am calling my gyn Monday morning to see when I can get in.

I just hate the fact that I am afraid to ask for new socks in fear of the sex that I know will be looming around the corner...
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jillbailey26
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:57 AM

Do you have any access to the money that is brought into the home?  Is your name on the bank account or anything?

Quoting lind.shep:

I was prescribed darvocet for the pain, I'm just afraid of prescription pain medications, I'm not sure why, so I keep them to a minimum. It's gotten so much worse lately, and I am calling my gyn Monday morning to see when I can get in.

I just hate the fact that I am afraid to ask for new socks in fear of the sex that I know will be looming around the corner...



"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19


BaileynMe
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 11:03 AM


Quoting lind.shep:

I was prescribed darvocet for the pain, I'm just afraid of prescription pain medications, I'm not sure why, so I keep them to a minimum. It's gotten so much worse lately, and I am calling my gyn Monday morning to see when I can get in.

I just hate the fact that I am afraid to ask for new socks in fear of the sex that I know will be looming around the corner...

That is really sad. This sounds like a really controlling, unhealthy relationship. 



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masastan
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 11:08 AM

Couples counselling. If he won't listen to you, and he needs to listen to someone, tell him if he won't listen to you and respect what you have to say, then it's time to see a counselor together and your doctor...together! Not listening to you and your needs and treating you like that is abusive, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You need to stop it now!

masastan
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 11:13 AM


Quoting lind.shep:

I was prescribed darvocet for the pain, I'm just afraid of prescription pain medications, I'm not sure why, so I keep them to a minimum. It's gotten so much worse lately, and I am calling my gyn Monday morning to see when I can get in.

I just hate the fact that I am afraid to ask for new socks in fear of the sex that I know will be looming around the corner...


Honey, if you are in need of new socks and are afraid to ask for them, that should be a wake up call for you! Get out and get out NOW! You CAN do it alone without him! I am without my abusive spouse and I have four kids. I am with someone else now and we are expecting a baby next month, so that's five I will have, plus going to school full time online, and working full time. You CAN do it! I got so sick last summer that I almost died. That is what it took for me to wake up and see how abusive my relationship was. Don't let it get that far for you!

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