Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should I do

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 5:16 PM
  • 9 Replies
So my ex has supervised and limited visitation. He use to see my daughter once a yr. Now recently he's been visiting her a weekend a month on Sundays. Always plans them well ahead of time. He was suppose to come last weekend but bailed cuz the weekend before a friend died. I think it's crap I think he wanted to spend fathers day with his other kid who live with him. Whatever though he asked me if this weekend would be ok. I said sure. Normally he text me on Saturday night and ask if it's still ok then says what time he's coming. He is an ass but I've never known him to bail without informing me first infact it's in the visitation rights that if he doesn't call and cancel with in 24hrs then I can refuse the next visit. So far it's 4:15 and he hasn't text to let me know what time he's coming. I don't want to text him cuz I feel like that's begging him to see her when I really don't care but I'd like to know if he's coming still he hasn't talk to me about it for almost 2 wks. So I don't know what to do!!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 5:16 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
rockinmomto2
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 5:18 PM

 Just text him and ask him if he's still planning on coming. No begging, just asking for information.

momofSkyeNShy
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 5:19 PM
Sorry I mean he normally text on Saturday morning to tell me what time on Sunday. Also I'd like to tell my daughter of the visit but I don't want to say I think he's coming tomorrow.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momofSkyeNShy
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 5:33 PM
I don't really want to text him cuz if he's forgot about coming and isn't here by 12 then I can text him and say don't come. Also it gives me the power to tell him no go for the next visit which won't be until after the 4th anyway. Not to mention it can father drive my proof that he doesn't need to get her alone for weekends. Which is what he says he wants. I haven't had money to talk to a lawyer yet and make sure that our custody order is still good after 7 yrs.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SHAEDON
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 5:41 PM

 Just dont do anything. If he doesnt show up then it is his loss.

xoch86
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 5:43 PM


Quoting momofSkyeNShy:

I don't really want to text him cuz if he's forgot about coming and isn't here by 12 then I can text him and say don't come. so dont text him. its not ur responsibility. and NEVER tell ur daughter unless its 100% sure. Also it gives me the power to tell him no go for the next visit which won't be until after the 4th anyway.i dunno, this sounds to me like ur just being spiteful over something.. but hey, thats on u. Not to mention it can father drive my proof that he doesn't need to get her alone for weekends. Which is what he says he wants.i agree that if he doesnt show up or call or any thing then he really shouldnt be taking her(of course that also depends on how far he lives, etc..) I haven't had money to talk to a lawyer yet and make sure that our custody order is still good after 7 yrs. unless ur court order says that the order is invalid after 7 years, then there is no really to assume the it would be no good after 7 years. court order dont expire. the only way they can be changed is if u or he tries to change it

is there a reason why he was only seeing her once a year. like u said, its not like him to just not show up so maybe there was an "emergency" situation, especially if hes been asking to taker her alone. is there a reason why he didnt get unsupervised visits? i feel like there are some underlying concerns here..

momofSkyeNShy
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 6:02 PM
He is a registered sex offender. That's why he doesn't get unsupervised visits. However she's his kid so if it weren't for the court order then he'd have visitation alone no problem cuz the act happened 8 yrs ago. It was statutory rape against the 13 yr old he knocked up. They are back together now after his 5 yr probation. The only thing I'm worried about is I was a minor when that court order was set and my parents had to do it cuz of me being a minor. When he signed over custody to me full legal and physical he actually signed it over to me and my parents until I turned 18. So I don't know if he gets custody rights back now that I'm well over 18.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momofSkyeNShy
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:36 PM

I am not going to say anything unless he doesn't show up tomorrow. Then I'll deal with him. Here is to hopes of him not showing although I know he probably will. I just want him to go away.

Verarose
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:43 PM


Quoting momofSkyeNShy:

He is a registered sex offender. That's why he doesn't get unsupervised visits. However she's his kid so if it weren't for the court order then he'd have visitation alone no problem cuz the act happened 8 yrs ago. It was statutory rape against the 13 yr old he knocked up. They are back together now after his 5 yr probation. The only thing I'm worried about is I was a minor when that court order was set and my parents had to do it cuz of me being a minor. When he signed over custody to me full legal and physical he actually signed it over to me and my parents until I turned 18. So I don't know if he gets custody rights back now that I'm well over 18.


Well at first I was going to say to be the adult and do what's right for your DD and let him see his DD.  This however  changes things.  Maybe just wait and see what happens.

I doubt that the custody rights would be changed just becuase you are now a legal adult.  Although if there is something in the agreement you don't like you can probable have it changed now that you are legal. 

Qustion- Most states will consider a minor as a legal adult after giving birth to a child.  Why was the custody agreement made by or signed by your parents?  Or do you mean they arranged things for you?

momofSkyeNShy
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 11:02 PM

They arranged things for me. I was considered an adult but the lawyer we used thought it would look better if an adult took "charge" of the situation and I was living with them at the time. That way it wouldn't seam like I was being a jealous teenager. Also my parents paid for the custody agreement so they wanted over rule me because we were in their house. Not that I did anything out of their house rules to do with the custody of my daughter but then him and his parents couldn't try to malipulate me into something that was wrong. Like that judge said once give any leway they will take a mile. So the only leway I give him right now is the part that the agreement forces me to give him. I just don't like to look at him and listen to him call himself her dad. He doesn't call her just text me. He's gotten back together with that young lady who now is 20 and has 3 kids only 1 is his. I don't trust her she and I have never met and never will. His other daughter is only 2 months younger then mine and the girls will never meet until they are older and my daughter understands and desides that is what she wants. I will never let some 20 yr old who can't keep her legs closed and along with a man who legally (as he so puts it) raped her have any alone influance on my daughter.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)