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I can't formula feed (funny stolen from other group)

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:46 AM
  • 47 Replies

(Disclaimer: I have nothing against formula-feeding or supplementing moms. I was just struck by a random moment of humor where I realized that many of the reasons why a mom might choose to formula feed over breastfeeding actually apply to my decision to breastfeed.) 

I can't formula feed. I have low supply. Once I empty a can, it wouldn't magically fill back up again. I'd try the whole "supply and demand" thing of going to the grocery store to stock back up. But my baby would scream if I do that. I can't stand the screaming!  

Besides, my cabinets are too small and I'd prefer to keep them sexy and uncluttered with all the formula cans. I've heard that formula feeding only works for people with big cabinets, anyway. As long as they're not SO big that it's hard to stack the formula cans. So really, formula feeding only works for people with medium sized cabinets.

And I'd be nervous about wondering if my baby was getting enough or getting too much. How do formula feeding moms know that their baby is getting enough? If baby cries, how do they know if he wants a bottle or if he wants a pacifier? And how do they know if they're over-feeding baby? Every weight check would make me paranoid that my formula mixing skills were just not up to par. 

I'd also be afraid to go out of my house if I was formula feeding. I'd be afraid that I forgot the bottles or the nipples or the formula or that I didn't bring enough, or that I brought too much. And besides, I feel SO awkward trying to bottle feed my baby. He always screams when I'm mixing the formula, but I can't mix it any faster because I need to make sure all the clumps are gone. There's just no way I can imagine bottle feeding a baby discreetely in public! I've tried all those hints and tips that I've seen other mothers mention, but I just can't get a hang of it. 

Not to mention nighttime bottles. I like getting sleep. How do you get sleep if you have to prepare and warm a bottle? I just can't imagine how a parent could do it. Plus, there's so many worries about formula and SIDS that I'd be afraid my baby would die. (excuse commonly applied to co-sleeping) 

And how would I be able to pay attention to my older child while I'm bottle feeding or washing the bottles? Not to mention the fact that it would interfere with my husband's ability to bond with our child, since he'd have to be washing bottles too. And working to pay for the formula.

Which brings me to another thing. I don't think I could do the whole formula feeding thing, because I'd be constantly worried about the source of formula drying up. I mean. It's a horrible economy. How will I know in the beginning if I can make it to a full year of formula feeding? If I were to formula feed, I'd always be worried about the supply. So I might try it in the beginning... But I have to tell ya, if the stock market drops any more than it has already.. I just wouldn't be able to deal with the anxiety and would have to give it up. 

Plus, what happens when baby gets teeth and starts to chew on the nipple bottles? And I hear it's painful when you move from the ready-made formula to the cans of powdered formula, because those pull-tops can have razor-sharp edges. I don't know if I would be able to deal with the pain of cutting up my fingers on those edges! Sure, in theory I could learn new techniques that would enable me to open the can without cutting myself.. But really, the idea of a paper cut makes me cringe, so I don't even want to try. I think I'll wean my baby off of formula when I need to make the switch away from the ready-made samples. 

I don't know how people do it, honestly. Maybe it's easier with practice.. But I tried a few bottles in the beginning with my older son and it just didn't work for me. So with this child I'm not even going to bother. 

...Now how do I get those damned formula samples and coupons to stop showing up at my door? I tried throwing sage tea at them and wrapping them in chilled cabbage leaves. But none of the old tricks work, darnit. Maybe some benadryl? 

              Austin Levi is on his way!

baby growth

CafeMom Tickers

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KaseyHickman
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:08 AM

 haha thats cute!

Im not going to breastfeed because of my medication but I still think it is funny!

ffirsttimemommy
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:09 AM

funnny!!!!!!

dosthepost
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:10 AM

Ha, I FF DD and I think it's hilarious!

Quoting KaseyHickman:

 haha thats cute!

Im not going to breastfeed because of my medication but I still think it is funny!


Rubbery117
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:11 AM

LOL!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

navywifey2006
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:12 AM

bahahahhaaha thats funny

RubysMommy
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:13 AM

thats funny! honestly though i really tried with both my kids to bf and it never took, my babies mouths could never fit overf my nipples enough...i never understand why either way is such an issue with everyone. what do i care what other women do or don't do with their breasts. and my kids are not "non breast fed" i dont label my self or my kids on stuff that other people do.

dosthepost
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:14 AM

Here we go... I knew people couldn't just laugh and keep walking. No one ever said anything either way... it's a funny. Laugh. hahahaha.

Quoting RubysMommy:

thats funny! honestly though i really tried with both my kids to bf and it never took, my babies mouths could never fit overf my nipples enough...i never understand why either way is such an issue with everyone. what do i care what other women do or don't do with their breasts. and my kids are not "non breast fed" i dont label my self or my kids on stuff that other people do.


Rhiannon1980
by Bronze Member on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:14 AM

thats good

mommyof2grls06
by Gold Member on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:16 AM

I saw that in my breastfeeding group. It is so funny. I had to post it on facebook too.

A proud Christian, Republican, Breastfeeding, Attachment parenting, Natural, Drug free Childbirthing, Extended Rear Facing and Extended Harnessing, ANTI- CRY IT OUT, Anti-vax, mommy to my 3 beautiful girls and wife to my Marine!

It's a child not a choice.

Women should not feel guilty if they are UNABLE to breastfeed, but they should feel guilty if they are UNWILLING to do so, and they should be intellectually honest enough to know the difference.

Brianne036
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:16 AM
That was cute. I Ff and BF and I saw the adjustment time and it took awhile after the swap before I stopped forgetting bottles and having to buy more everytime we left the house
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