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About to pull my frickin hair out and run screaming.......

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:20 PM
  • 17 Replies

 Because these kids are driving me up the wall. I have never seen a 10 and 12 yr old kids acting so damn rude, disrespectful, lazy, and spoiled in my life.

They are my stepdaughters and I love them like my own but oh man I could knock their heads together sometimes!

And I think its partly because their mother leaves them unsupervised a lot of the time (she works nights) and doesn't spend much time with them.

They are girls and fight constantly, and they fight with Nickolas too (my 4 yr old) and he is the one who always get hurt. Pisses me off so bad when that happens. He is their brother but damn they need to realize he is still little kid.

we are at our wits end with these kids, they come over for the weekend and think its a free for all and they don't have to do anything. We tell them to clean up after themselves but they don't do anything. We took the tv away from all of them yesterday but still they won't clean up.

DH and I don't know what else to do.......

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
twistedmommy
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:23 PM

Be consistent  and firm every time they do somthing wrong. They may not get that at home but if its consistent enough they will realize that they wont get away with anything at your house.

SarahFire82
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:28 PM

 I know but its just so hard when we try to discipline them, they mock or laugh at us and don't take their father or me seriously.

Quoting twistedmommy:

Be consistent  and firm every time they do somthing wrong. They may not get that at home but if its consistent enough they will realize that they wont get away with anything at your house.

 

Gailll
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:35 PM

First admit you don't love them like your own, they aren't your own. It's crazy to think you would. Why aren't you watching them when their mother is working?

Punishment doesn't stop bad behavior or teach good behavior. Obviously it isn't working. You need to learn non-punishment parenting skills. You can read books, take parenting classes, go to counseling, go to workshops, go to conferences, take college courses, or learn online. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen is a good Book. STEP is a good parenting course. 

 

SarahFire82
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 12:13 AM

 WOW. I am offended that you assume I don't love them like my own. She has custody and her roommate usually watches them when she is working.

Quoting Gailll:

First admit you don't love them like your own, they aren't your own. It's crazy to think you would. Why aren't you watching them when their mother is working?

Punishment doesn't stop bad behavior or teach good behavior. Obviously it isn't working. You need to learn non-punishment parenting skills. You can read books, take parenting classes, go to counseling, go to workshops, go to conferences, take college courses, or learn online. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen is a good Book. STEP is a good parenting course. 

 

 

NearSeattleMom
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2010 at 2:54 AM

I really like the book Parenting with Love and Logic.  It helped me deal with my kids in a rational manner.

The ages of 10-12 are tough anyway, and even more so since these kids are from a broken home.  You need to be as consistent and fair as possible.  They are probably resentful and insanely jealous of your little boy. 

Good luck! 

Mae264
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 3:03 AM

Just know that you are doing the best you can. Raising kids can be hard but when it comes to a blended family it's tough especially if they aren't being made to mind at home that makes you and their father seem like the bad guys when you try to enforce rules at your house. Just let them know that you love them unconditionally but some behaviors will not be toerated find the thing they enjoy most and start taking it away and make sure you are always consistent. Good luck.

moxiema
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 3:22 AM

I feel you. take away every thing your stepdaughters likes .  no games, no fun money, no malls.  do you remember what your parents did when you  disobed them? right now, i'm dealing with the same problems.  keep a cool head.  

dusky_rose
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 3:24 AM

BUMP!

Angelica2179
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 3:37 AM

I have 2 step daughters and we have a 2 year old boy together. Here's the deal both dad and youhave to agree on everything in front of the kids. Never disagree in front of them it shows weakness. Any chance you guys can get together with the mom and have a fam meeting? Maybe take the kids to a homeless shelter and show them how lucky they are to have their own bedroom to clean up. Our kids did nothing but complain we don't have this or that. So in the night time we took them to downtown San Diego and walked the streets where the homeless were. They changed their mind real quick prob bcuz they were scared. but their more grateful now a days.

Angelica2179
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 3:42 AM

That's not nice to assume. It's really hard raising step kids because you have a thin line to respect between the real mom. I think she's trying to implement rule and structure then the girls go home to the real mother who doesn't care to give them rules. Being a step mom is hard and can sometimes really test the marriage. I know our girls are respectful but they test the waters here and their. Dad and I are always on the same boat even if he thinks I'm wrong or vice verse.

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