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Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:20 AM
  • 9 Replies

I have been struggling with my daughter (7) with disrespect: eye rolling, voice, comments, deception/sneeking. The behavior has started towards my mom. At first I thought it was something between her and I and it still maybe, but with her now crossing that threshold with my mom, that does nothing but love on my kids, action needs to be taken.

I am desperate for some ideas, I have tried a ton of stuff (I actually work in this field, but am baffled by my own daughter)


by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:20 AM
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by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:26 AM

Take away privileges, manual labor, push ups.


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by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:27 AM

 My daughter has behavioural problems ( as you will see in your other recent post)...and we have started going to a behavioural center for children under 12.

They taught us the SNAP program, its Stop Now And Plan....i dont know if you have heard of it, but it would probably be good to look into.

When my daughter starts getting frustrated and starts growling and starts showing that her mood will change, i just look at her and say "use the snap"...she does one of the steps that they teach her...its either snapping the fingers, taking deep breaths and counting to ten, or putting your hands in your pockets.

We have also learned that when she is getting too frustrated, it would be a good idea for her to say to us " i need some time to calm down, may i go to my room?"...this has helped as well when we are talking to her, because she has a habit of getting frustrated and just walking away without using her words to let us know first...that she would like some time to calm down. Once she is calmed down, we go back and talk to her about the problem.

Routine also helps with my daughter as well...she has a bedtime routine at night, we read a story, sing 3 silly sallys, sing butterfly kisses and then two minutes of quiet time...i give her a kiss goodnight, her dad comes in and gives her a kiss...and its bed, we have been doing this for a long time and find that it really does help.

Good luck!

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:29 AM

 Oh as well just to add, with the SNAP program she also has a chart for every week on what she needs to work on for that, speaking appropriatly, using manners, keeping hands and feet to herself and listening to parents. She gets a sticker at the end of the day for each task accomplished, and if she gets a certain amount of stickers ( amount changes per week), then she gets a reward at the end of the week. THIS i also find helps us.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:08 AM

Maddy and I came up with a code: ttyl for when one of us needs to calm down. This lets us know we can and will talk about it later. It helps when the emotions start rising and we have seen some improvement. It's really the nasty tone of voice that is pushing me closer to the edge.frustrated

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:10 AM

 sell her to the circus.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:13 AM

My sister had this same problem with both her daughters at this age. My sister really isn't the best dicipliner but my mom would tell the girls to go to another room until they could talk nicely to her. If they threw a fit about it she would lower her voice and say "I said now!" Ya know that motherly voice all older moms have? LOL  When my mom does that it brings back a whooolllleeeee bunch of memories and I want to go to another room! LOL

If my sister's girls, or even my children, do something to my mom my mom handles it.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:24 AM

 I have found that manual labor and dirty work seems to help. My 10 y/o is bad, everytime she back talks she poop scoops the yard. We have 3 large dogs. It is a disgusting job. It really helps her.....unless she is pmsing.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:25 AM
My mom used to say she was going to sell us to the gypsys. LOL.

Quoting mrsjedwards:

 sell her to the circus.

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by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:32 AM

When Attitude happens, it is straight to their room (or if we are not home, straight to the car), until they are calm.  We still have issues with it, but not like when it initially started.


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