Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

He is stealing from us!

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:06 PM
  • 18 Replies

My husbands ex has a 10 year old son, the 10 year old boy is not my husbands.. But, the 10 year old is over to the house a few times a month, as the 10 year old boy is my step daughters half brother.

Anyway, lately, we've noticed little things missing... things that the 10 year old took interest in the ngiht before. The things will all be accounted for the night before the boy comes over, and the morning after, they're gone.

Things that have gone missing:

Silly bandz. Not a big deal, but my 7 year old Matthew collects them -- he had well over 100 due to his aunt buying them for him. The silly bandz were counted the night before the 10 year old came over, as Matthew likes to count them. Then, we put them back in a little jar, that was almost overflowing, and put them up out of reach from the younger kids in the house. Anyway, the morning after we brought the 10 year old home, I looked at the silly band jar, and at least half of them were missing.. Matt counted them again, and this time, their were only 58. I know Matthew did not miscount either times that he counted them, as my husband sits with him and helps.


Other things include a lot of my boys toy cars. We had a huge bucket full, but we can only find 4 cars now. My step daughter is also missing money out of her piggy bank -- she had dollar bills in their as well, but now there is only change. She claims that she saw the 10 year old in her room that morning.

Furthermore, one of my kids leapsters (bought by their nana) is missing, along with 2 of the games. The leapsters have been in a "time out" for the past week, so the boys have not touched them. The 10 year old, on the other hand, was allowed to play one when he came over as they had not been taken away from him.


I hate to say this boy is taking items from our house, but it is looking that way.
We tore apart the house today looking for the cars, leapster games, the missing dollars, and the silly bandz...no luck. I have searched every inch of this house, and it's really looking like he took the stuff.


It's just stuff, and none of it is very important, but it's the whole principle of thing.

If the kid would've just asked, "can I have some Silly Bandz?" We would've given him some, or bought him some of his own. If he asked if he could have a Leapster, I probably would've said okay, because we don't really need 2 -- the kids can share...  Same with the toy cars and the money. I would've gladly given him a few toy cars and a few bucks for his piggy bank.


Anyway, my question is..what would you do?
We have no real proof that he took the things, so it's..difficult. It's just our suspicions -- which I feel like the worst person in the world for having.. But...well, what would you think if the items were there the night before and now their gone???

What do I do?



ETA: He was caught stealing once in the past. One of my then INFANT daughters stuffed lions had gone missing from the top of her dresser. Knowing that the 10 year old was in there, I asked him the next week if he happened to take it..  He denied it, but then his mother walked into his room and pulled out the stuff lion. When confronted with the lion in question, he simply replied, "oh I must've grabbed it by mistake!"

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
kremmels
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:12 PM
Next time he is over say your starting something new and have a family discussion. Say you have noticed stuff missing (not naming anything or anyone) and say its not nice, that if they want something just ask.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mamakenzi
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:12 PM

I would talk to his mom about it.  I also wouldn't let him come back but that's me.  If you do want him to come back then check him and his things before he leaves.  Sounds horrible but what else are you going to do?

Princess7777
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:15 PM

I wouldn't let him come back.  You can try talking to his mom and say I notice things when it's gone after he's been here.

Aamy
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:15 PM

Ok and WHY is this boy still allowed in your home ??? Hmmm simple solution to what you should do, confront his mother that he is NO LONGER WELCOME in your home because things go missing when he is there. Plain and simple. 

masastan
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:15 PM


Quoting mamakenzi:

I would talk to his mom about it.  I also wouldn't let him come back but that's me.  If you do want him to come back then check him and his things before he leaves.  Sounds horrible but what else are you going to do?


I agree.

CullenLover
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:16 PM

sounds like he is learning to lie and cover his tracks, from now on, if u have to lock things up or take everything away in his room until he learns not to steal, also check all his bags etc until he stops stealing and demand the items be returned or paid for by the mother.

SullivanMommy
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:19 PM

I say check him for things that might not be his before he leaves your house. Make sure his mom knows whats missing!

comptonkids
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:23 PM

he may not be aware of what he is doing...he may be fully aware...i would ask him about the missing items. i would ask him mother(in front of him) about the missing items...then, if you decide to allow him to continue to come over...tell him something along the lines of

"since we cannot trust that you do not take things from this house, before you leave, we will have to search you and your bag. if we find something there that you did not ask to have, you will be on a time out from coming over here for "x" number of days"

it sounds like he likes to be at yalls house, so maybe not being allowed to come back due to his 'stealing' is enough incentive to stop...but like a pp said, make it clear that IF he wants something, he just has to ask, and most likely he will be allowed to have it

make it clear that its the lying and sneaky behavior that yuo dont like, and is not acceptable in your home

nurbabe82
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:27 PM

 

Quoting comptonkids:

he may not be aware of what he is doing...he may be fully aware...i would ask him about the missing items. i would ask him mother(in front of him) about the missing items...then, if you decide to allow him to continue to come over...tell him something along the lines of

"since we cannot trust that you do not take things from this house, before you leave, we will have to search you and your bag. if we find something there that you did not ask to have, you will be on a time out from coming over here for "x" number of days"

it sounds like he likes to be at yalls house, so maybe not being allowed to come back due to his 'stealing' is enough incentive to stop...but like a pp said, make it clear that IF he wants something, he just has to ask, and most likely he will be allowed to have it

make it clear that its the lying and sneaky behavior that yuo dont like, and is not acceptable in your home

 

Morita-Michelle
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:49 PM

Here is a web page that might help you.

http://www.thecutekid.com/parenting/kids-and-stealing.php

I hope the kid gets help. I had a problem with stealing when I was about that age. I had low self esteem and I really do not know why I did it to this day. I am not a thief it was a brieftime that I did it. He is probably not a bad kid maybe you can help him, I know it is hard but kids really do not think about the consequences of there behavior. That is why they can't be tried as an adult when they do a crime.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)