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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Do you think my daughter is a "slut"?

Posted by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:05 AM
  • 80 Replies

My 13 year old daughter is being labeled a slut by her once best friend for a poor judgement choice of what to wear in a pool. She was at a sleepover at another friends house and she forgot her bathing suit, so she swam in a bra, tank top and shorts. The weight of the water kept pulling her tank top down, and her bra kept showing, so her friend said, "why don't you just take off the tank top, it's just like swimming in a bathing suit top anyway:, so my daughter did. The bras I buy her are very padded and cover her up more than any bathing suit top she or anybody else for that matter owns.  The subject came up at a party at my house behind my daughter's back and her "best friend" and this girl were talking about it and the "best friend" started saying what a slut she is and she is going around telling everyone that my daughter is a slut. My daughter has never had a boyfriend, never kissed or touched a boy for that matter, while this girl has had many. Last summer, at the age of 12, this girl made out with a boy in a closet at camp, "tongued" a boy on the school bus, kissed a boy at a dance the night she met him, then met him the next day in the street and kissed him again. She's had several boyfriends and says my daughter is just jealous because the gets more guys than her. My daughter gets many offers, but politely declines out of respect for me because she is not allowed to date yet.

Although I am not "thrilled" by my daughters choice in the pool, mainly because of girls like this talking, I don't believe it at all warrants what my daughter is going through. This other girl has gone to everyone my daughter knows calling her a slut, and I feel she has ruined her reputation and it is going to be very difficult to walk back into school when it starts not knowing who thinks she is a slut or not. My daughter does not like drama and is terrified of confrontation, and has always been a good girl and very loyal to her friends, never doing anything to intentionally hurt them.

by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cara124
by Bronze Member on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:09 AM

first off no i dont think your daughter is a slut for wearing that swimming and second i would be at this other girl's house talking to her parents about her behavior bullying (and thats what this is) is not ok on any level for any reason......

shyysmom
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:09 AM

wow no that does not warrant being called a slut..

i see nothing wrong with that considering the circumstances

that girl must be jealous of her and insecure with herself

maybe you and dd should confront her and her mother

lowrider08
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:09 AM

Sometimes I have thought about swimming in my bra and underwear. LOL Really not much different. Same shape coverage as a two piece.

shyysmom
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:09 AM


Quoting cara124:

first off no i dont think your daughter is a slut for wearing that swimming and second i would be at this other girl's house talking to her parents about her behavior bullying (and thats what this is) is not ok on any level for any reason......

exactly

trist22
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:09 AM

Teen girls are MEAN! ( ever see the movie meangirls?)  The "fri-enemy" is probably jealous of your daughter because 1. she is cuter, or  2. she was attracting more attention. This is a problem for your daughter and it could get worse. Have you spoke to the girl's mother? Keep the lines of communication open with your daughter, and watch her behavior after school starts.  She is definitely NOT a slut and this girl is definitely not a friend.

lyns-n-babymama
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:10 AM

No way.... Your daughter isnt doing anything that qualifies her as a "slut". I would tell her just to ignore the accusations and if she cant seem to get away from it then call the other girls parents and explain the situation to them.

Mami2Jahzi
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:10 AM
Quoting cara124:

first off no i dont think your daughter is a slut for wearing that swimming and second i would be at this other girl's house talking to her parents about her behavior bullying (and thats what this is) is not ok on any level for any reason......

CafeMom Tickers

Hi, I'm Yvonne. Loving Wifey of Josué, Mami to Jahziel (2). I'm a full time working mommy, who also goes to school. Nothing in my life come before my son and DF. I was a formula feeding, disposiable diapering, Vaxing, Non-Circ, CIO, FF @ 1yr & 20lb momma and will do all the same with my next. I don't really care what people think about me because I don't know you. I'm on cafemom for fun not to bash, argue, or be someone I'm not.

So I hope to see you around the website! Have an Awesome Day!


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twinsmommy3
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:13 AM

she says it all!

Quoting cara124:

first off no i dont think your daughter is a slut for wearing that swimming and second i would be at this other girl's house talking to her parents about her behavior bullying (and thats what this is) is not ok on any level for any reason......


Kristen Johnson moms rock

comptonkids
by Gold Member on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:17 AM

her reputation WONT be tarnished IF she continues with the 'good girl' behavior she has been exhibiting all her life...

people at school will want to know if there is truth to it and will be watching her carefully to see if she behaves like a slut...now, more than before, it is VERY important for her to continue doing what she has been doing all her life

tell her to ignore the comments, and that as long as SHE knows the truth, and portrays the truth..the ugly comments will subside, and people will know who the REAL slut is

blakeandbailey
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 11:18 AM

Wow!! Thank you all! I am going to have my daughter read these replies, it will help her self esteem A LOT!! And for all of you who say to talk with the parents, we have called her dad and are having a sit down about this. When we told him she was calling our daughter a slut, he said he can't really believe that, but there was a very mean text session while we were in the car on Saturday to go to a BBQ, and it ruined my daughter's day so that was why I had my husband call her father, we have had them to our house for Christmas Eve and parties and because he said he could hardly believe it, I transcripted the texts onto paper and made my daughter save them

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