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A rock and a hard spot

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:02 PM
  • 12 Replies

 Ok so on my anniversary a whole lot of drama occured between my parents and my husband and I. It actually all started out a few weeks before then. There is this guy that owes my husband some money. Well my husband had been trying to get ahold of this guy to pay us that money and this guy keeps running to my dad about it. At one point my dad had both men in his garage for a "talk" well something went wrong and it ended up my dad was going to kick my DH's ass because, for some reason, he felt my dh was "puffing up" to him. That my husband was in the wrong for being mad about the money not being paid and that my dad was involved when it has nothing to do with him. A few days later my dad and dh talked and somewhat smoothed things out. Well fast forward to the night of my anniversary. We were visiting my parents and my dh was outside talking on the phone. My dad offered him a beer wich he refused and so my dad grabbed a couple more and went to his garage. We ended up leaving because it was late and we needed to get the kids to bed.

I recieved a call from my mom shortly after we got home, she said that my dad had asked her for a divorce. He told her that he felt there were issues between me and him that were not getting resolved and that we wouldn't take the kids to see my mom because of said issues. well as the night wore on it came out that there was still issues between my dad and dh (at least according to my dad. aaron thought that they had gotten things smoothed out). My dad was being extremely irrational and when I called to talk to him (at my moms insistance) He wouldn't stop yelling and wouldn't let me get a word in. Anything I did get to say was met with "well this is how it's going to be" and other nonsense like that. Well it got to a point where he said "well you won't have to worry about me anymore, you and mom will be taken care of and you won't have to worry about me anymore" When he says things like that he is talking about a life insurance policy that he has on himself that would pay money to me and my mom. He told me he was going to take the motorcycle and go take care of things. Those words and the way he said them led me to believe he was threatening suicide. I told him I was going to call the cops, which I did.

My mom text me and said that made things worse. My dad called a bit later, after the cops left, and started yelling and being irrational yet again. He threatened to call the cops on us and tell them we had weed and were selling it. He didn't make the call and even if he did they probably wouldn't have believed him. Since that night I havn't talked to my mom or dad. I have only had a few brief texts with my mom, mostly about the kids. I told her that until we can all sit down and talk about this nonsense I would not be bringing the kids by. It has been over a week now. I tried the very next day to set up time to have this talk with the 4 of us but they said no. Now I don't know what to think. Some of the things my mom has texted me make me feel like no matter what happens, whether we talk or not, it's still going to be my fault. I feel like she is choosing her husband over her grandkids, which yes i can understand her not wanting to lose her husband but it hurts. It hurts the kids. Honestly if I didn't have kids that missed their grandma I would probably just say F*** it and not talk to my family anymore. Does anyone have any advice? I don't know what to think or do. I go over the situation every day all hours. Honestly I don't want my kids around my dad anymore. I think he is on drugs. I know he has a drinking problem, he will deny it up and down but its real. He has a horrible temper problem.

I have to run some errands, I will be checking in and out thru-out the evening.

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
_Jill_
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:20 PM

I would just allow your mom over for short visits, and maybe just take a break from trying to fix things with your dad for awhile...otherwise, a break from both of them would be the healthiest option. your kids will be okay.

punkomama08
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 6:41 PM
Bump
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Momof5Teens67
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 6:58 PM

 perfect advice

good luck

HUGS

Quoting _Jill_:

I would just allow your mom over for short visits, and maybe just take a break from trying to fix things with your dad for awhile...otherwise, a break from both of them would be the healthiest option. your kids will be okay.

 

        Yvonne





 




                    

onefootcutiepie
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:02 PM

 Yes this. Let your mom come to YOUR house and visit.

Quoting Momof5Teens67:

 perfect advice

good luck

HUGS

Quoting _Jill_:

I would just allow your mom over for short visits, and maybe just take a break from trying to fix things with your dad for awhile...otherwise, a break from both of them would be the healthiest option. your kids will be okay.

 

 

punkomama08
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:01 PM

 thank you ladies. I really appreciate your input. I don't really have any other family to talk to and many of the people that know of the situation are biased in their opinions so I really needed some outside opinions.

nurbabe82
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:06 PM

 

Quoting _Jill_:

I would just allow your mom over for short visits, and maybe just take a break from trying to fix things with your dad for awhile...otherwise, a break from both of them would be the healthiest option. your kids will be okay.

 

tanya_marieh
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:18 PM

agreed

Quoting _Jill_:

I would just allow your mom over for short visits, and maybe just take a break from trying to fix things with your dad for awhile...otherwise, a break from both of them would be the healthiest option. your kids will be okay.


jabs54
by Platinum Member on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:24 PM

 So, your parents are getting divorced?  I don't blame you for not wanting to be around your dad.  Can't your mom come over for a visit?

manda14311
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:30 PM
Tell ur mom to go to some co dependant meetings and maybe ur dad will end up in AA
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punkomama08
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 9:46 PM
No, apparently they talked it out or whatever. But the night all of this was happening he said he wanted a divorce and it was basically my fault. I have told her she can come over or meet us at a park but she uses the excuse that my dad uses the truck all the time and that they don't have gas (we live 10 minutes away!)

Quoting jabs54:

 So, your parents are getting divorced?  I don't blame you for not wanting to be around your dad.  Can't your mom come over for a visit?

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