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fed up HELP( Warning: long)

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:31 AM
  • 4 Replies

my DS's father and i haven't been together since i was 5 mos pregnant after which i met and married my DH and he has been my son's "daddy". His father has been involved in his life since he was 2 mos old  (i called him) and im convinced that if his mother weren't pushing him to be involved and if i hadn't called he never wod have even met his son let alone been a dad to him.

DS is now 2 and it's been constant frustrations and disappointments with his father. He takes him 1 day a week overnight and stays with his mom and brings him back early afternoon the next day. After recently being "let go" of his job he tried collecting unemplyment and informed me that he no longer could afford to have aiden be covered wth his medical insurance which sucks but is fine. i contacted our insurance company to see if we could add him as an emergency and they said yes as long as i got a letter from his former employer stating that his insurance ended on the specific date. short and to the point, they didnt need to know he got fired or anything just that my son didnt have coverage! WELL, i told him this and it took him a  week to egt papers that were incorrect!! they stated HIS name, the fact that HE was fired with no mention of my son's name at all. I asked him again to get the proper paper with very specific info foe me so that the insurance company wouldnt deny us, another week goes by and he sends me a packet with his and our son's info only it was an enrollement packet for the unemployment insurance that he had already told me he couldnt afford coverage for. I told him once again that the company would see this and deny it because it looked like my son was already being enrolled for different insurance. I even went as far as to call his former employer and ask for the letter myself, he gave me the # to HR but told me that it wasnt likely anyone would speak to me, it had to be his dad :-/ i was so beyond frustrated i called him immediatly after and gave him the # and again the info for exactly what i needed on the letter. a few days pass and he FINALLY got a suitable letter to give to my insurance company :p nearly 3 weeks after being fired and knowing my sons insurance is ending. initially he had the odacity to ask if it was ok if he didnt have coverage for a few months, that he would pay for visits out of pocket which i know he wouldnt be able to afford, just the fact that he asked was baffling enough but then to get the letter mixed up so many times so it was weeks before my son had medical coverage made me livid.

luckily things are all sorted out now but theres no limit to the stupid things that are said and done on his part. This is just one example of the things we go through ALL THE TIME> he's not a bad guy persay just dumb. He never gave up anything to be "a dad" even still he's more like a play buddy once a week and writes a small check once a month to help with some expenses. The only reason he even took responsibility for my sons insurance was because we were on medicaid while i was pregnant and even for awhile after and at a certain point the state tracked him down and forced him to add him to his coverage. I couldnt add him to ours until this dec i was added to my DHs when we got married and our daughter when she was born. we were waiting for DS to be eligable. Atleast now we are responsible like i wanted to be.

22 year old SAHM to two beautiful babies, Aiden Finn and Sophia Marie. I believe in   vaccinating, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, none ERF, circumcising.and spanking when necessary.  loving wife to Michael since 10/24/09!

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:31 AM
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by Gold Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:38 AM

That is one huge hassle. I'm just not understanding why your insurance can't just add him. When my husband was covered under his parents insurance, he had insurance from both his mom's work and his dad's work. They weren't divorced or anything, just had double coverage. 

I've never had to deal with this, so I can't offer any advice really, but good luck getting things sorted out.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:44 AM
Insurance companies need to have that cancel date.. I worked for medical billing and that's just the way they operate =(

Sucks that he took so long and was being a schmuck when u told him exactly what was needed. How frustrating indeed!
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by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:52 AM

i dont know, but my DH said that it was every dec you could add someone to the plan with the exception of marriage, births and now the emergency situation we were in. thank god they accepted and he now has medical coverage but idk why this had to be such a hard thing to accomplish, he knew he was losing his job and knew that COBRA was too expensive for himself and DS to be covered under and still it took 3 weeks to get shit doen UGHHHH

by Gold Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 1:38 PM

hugsIt's difficult to get people to understand you need to do exactly what they request. It will just delay them covering your son which is what they want anyway!

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