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Baby Daddy Delima

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:27 PM
  • 7 Replies

So, my ds is almost 8 months old. He has seen his father maybe 8 times. His father likes to play games and not see him as often as he should. Because of this, my son has no clue who he is. My problem is a two parter. One being that my son literally screams bloody murder when his father touches, looks or holds him. I mean cries and screams and freaks out. When I take him back to comfort him, he is claw at me to get as close as possible. I try to tell him and show him its all ok. But he wants no part of it.

Because of this reaction towards his father, he has a low tolerance for males. He freaks out when males touch him or look at him. It's very stressful on everyone. What can I do?

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:27 PM
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Replies (1-7):
mymommasgirl
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:41 PM
mayb u can have him come over more often & take baby steps with him
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mamakenzi
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:43 PM
Daddy is going to have to be more involved and you need to stop picking him up from dad, yes it's rough, but it will get better.
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mamatiger18
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:48 PM

yeah its just a small phase my oldest DS did the samething (but dh was with me and always around the baby) and for some reason ds freaked whenever dh would carry or look at him. DH actually thought I was turning our ds against him!! haha 

But dont worry he will eventually get used to have his dad around. 

nellyb118
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:51 PM
my son was weird around males as a baby all the way up to like 3 years old. he loved his daddy and grandpa but that's it. I think it's a phase and he also just needs to be around more.
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emilyw8508
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:56 PM

Is there any way you can spend time together with his dad and him, so that he doesnt associate dad with mommy leaving? Also this way you can see how his dad acts around him, does he have a short fuse or anything? Or is he a good guy that sincerely wants to be more involved in his childs life?  Do things as a group so that he can see dad is fun like play games, do arts and crafts like painting with non toxic finger paint, go to the playground, so he sees that dad can be fun.  Eventually try to be just in the background and let them play alone. So you can work up to them building a bond and he can have overnights visits with dad. Once you start doing this he will probably still cry for you when you drop him off, I know your first reaction is to scoop him up when he freaks out like this, but try not to. He is of course very bonded to you, but he is getting older and finding out what works, and if screaming and throwing a fit works he will do it.   He will get to know that dad is fun and loving too.  I would only do visits with the 3 of you for a while to get him used to his dad.  I have a 2 yr old, and me and her dad arent together, havent been since she was 1 yr.  She is so bonded to him i often feel guilty when she has to be apart from him. She sees him every weekend, but asks about him almost every day.  And she gets me to call him almost every day.  Even though I dont care for him too much, she loves him to death.   Thats her daddy. So if your baby daddy really wants to be more involved, I would definitely make it happen, it wont happen overnight, but the more positive experiences he has with dad the more he will bond to him, which will be the best thing for your son.

GlowingxMomma
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 7:23 PM

His father really doesn't want to be around is the problem. He just doesn't care. He only comes around when he wants to. Nothing I say or do will make him come around.

bmswifey
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 9:17 PM

When his father is around and your son starts acting like that do not take him from his dad. Maybe his dad does not come around much because when your son starts acting like that you take him from his dad.

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